Voice of Reason
by ephiny63
Summary: COMPLETED! Sequel to Who Am I? Sam's slowly healing at Bobby's place, now home for the boys. A stir crazy Dean starts to feel the cracks widen when he is taken by the demon who took Sam. A bargaining chip but will Sam be up to it? Limp!Sam Limp!Dean
1. Chapter 1

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for language, violence, and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

CHAPTER 1

**_PREVIOUSLY:_**

_A screech of tires made the three men stare at each other in silent horror 'could be Caleb.' Bobby said finally breaking the sudden quiet._

_'Bobby? Dean? You guys in here?' Caleb called sprinting into the house and colliding with Bobby._

_'Damn it Cal slow down son before you have a coronary.'_

_'The demon ... he's back.' Cal panted as he collapsed against Bobby, 'that Doc Mac is with ...' _

_'Caleb?' Bobby called out frantically checking the younger man for injuries but found none. 'Must just be sheer exhaustion.' Bobby looked up at Dean and then shifted his gaze to Sam, 'you boys alright?'_

_'We're going to be.' Sam said softly, 'and we'll be ready for him won't we Dean.'_

_'You bet Sam, we're in this all the way.' Dean said placing a comforting hand on Sam's good arm and squeezing it slightly. 'All the way.'_

**_AND NOW:_**

Sam wiped his forehead and panting heavily eased himself down onto the chair, he glanced up at the wide grin gracing his brother's face. 'So Dean what are you staring at?'

'You Dude.'

'Why?'

'Coz I know how much it annoys you!' Dean smirked, 'do you realise that you have just completed six laps with the bars without stopping and without support?'

'Ah ... yeah.'

'Dude that was freaking amazing, honestly I didn't think you had it in ya.'

In response, Sam threw the damp towel and hit Dean on the chest, 'thanks dude I always knew you had a soft sensitive side.'

'So Sammy ... honestly how is the leg?'

'Honestly?'

'Yeah dude honestly.'

Sam took a deep breath, stood up and walked towards his brother with only a limp showing his injury, a big grin spreading across his face as he made it across the room without stopping and without any support whatsoever. 'Whatcha think?'

'Dude you been holding out on me haven't ya.' Dean's smile grew wider and he clapped Sam on the shoulder, 'and the arm?'

'Getting there, still a bit shaky but getting there.' Sam said trying to catch his breath, 'damn it.'

'Hey Sammy don't worry you're doing great.' Dean said as he helped Sam into the wheelchair, and then waited for his brother to catch his breath completely.

'So tired of this Dean,' Sam said wheezing slightly, 'this is not me.'

'Nope it aint, but ... it's more you than two months ago.' Dean said crouching down in front of Sam and cupping his face Dean forced his sibling to look at him, 'hey I give ya another two weeks and you're going to be outta this thing all together.'

'Dean I ...'

'Nope not gonna listen Sammy, man what you have been through ... your body has to have time to heal Sam.'

'I know but...'

'Nope no buts so you want to hit the shower now or what?'

'Shower and then I might do some work on the computer.' Sam sighed, he felt so tired lately, not just physically tired, but he emotionally. He hated being such a burden on everyone. Bobby, Dean and even Caleb they have all been fussing over him and helping him with his recovery and rehabilitation since his ordeal began.

'Earth to Major Sam ...'

'Huh? Oh sorry Dean I guess I'm more tired than what I thought.' Sam admitted a shadow passed over his face as Dean stared at him.

'Okay, that tears it, shower and bed for you dude.'

'Dean I'm not two...'

'Yeah well stop acting like that, you can muck around on the computer in bed but you are going to get some rest.'

'Yes Sir.' Sam couldn't resist answering Dean like the one they used to answer their father.

Dean pushed Sam's chair up the ramp he had Bobby had fitted to accommodate the wheelchair, a temporary one they both kept reassuring Sam, he chewed his lower lip as he pushed trying to think of how to keep Sam feeling positive about his condition and recovery. His heart heavy as he thought of the day so long ago now it seems when he found Sam in that hospital, not remembering anyone or anything. How broken and lost he looked and now he is still faced with an upheaval battle in his return to full health. Each time he made significant progress, either some person or some demon had other ideas. Dean couldn't even come close to knowing how Sam was still alive after everything he has endured.

'Dean?'

'Yeah dude?' Dean answered distractedly as he put the brakes on and set about fixing the shower for Sam.

'Dean do you remember ... do you remember mom?'

'Why?'

'I – I know that she died when I was a baby, I understand that I couldn't possibly remember what she looked like ...'

'Do you remember seeing her spirit about a year ago?'

'No, when?'

'We were doing a job that just happened to involve our old house, well we finished it and then you had a feeling that it wasn't all over ... you got trapped in the house with the malevolent spirit and just after I got in to help you ... mom appeared to us.' Dean's voice broke as he retold the events of that hunt, seemingly a lifetime ago.

'What – what, did ... did she say anything?'

'Yeah she said what a handsome guy you turned into,' Dean said, 'guess she doesn't see too good now.'

'Oh funny Dean.' Sam gingerly stood up and waited for a moment of dizziness to pass, 'what did she look like?'

'An Angel, and so beautiful.'

'Thought you said that you don't believe in Angels.'

'This you remember?' Dean huffed as he settled his brother in under the warm water, 'I'll just be in the bedroom, call if you need me.'

'Yeah, yeah now get outta here.' Sam waved Dean off with his good hand; he rested his weaker one on a new railing bracing himself while he enjoyed the water cascading down his long, lean body. Unconsciously his hands ghosted over his most recent scars, he may not remember everything from his childhood but he remembered the each and every one of the later ones.

As the water cascaded down Sam's back, his mind was somewhere else. He felt the chain around him and the feeling of getting dragged behind the motorbike, his muscles twitching in response to his memories. Unbidden and dreaded, they came flying back as Sam's leg gave way and he slumped to the floor of the shower sobbing uncontrollably as the pent up emotions, and fears came bubbling up and boiling over.

Dean glanced once again at the bathroom door; he could hear the water still running when he knew that the hot would have well and truly run out by now. 'Sammy?' he called tapping on the door knowing how much his brother craves privacy especially now. 'Sammy?' When he received no answer, he opened the door and hurried to the shower. 'Oh God Sammy?' he gasped when he found his brother curled up on the bottom of the cubicle, the cold water splashing over his naked form. 'Sammy?' Grabbing some towels, he turned the water off and wrapped the towels around Sam and gently he lifted his brother out of the shower, subconsciously realising just how light he still was.

After he laid Sam down on the bed, Dean sat down and stared at his younger brother, the bruises and cuts were all but gone, his scars glistened with pink new skin they were all there each with their own tale, each with their own pain attached. Though Dean's heart started to shatter when he took in the gauntness of Sam's long frame. The fact that he could easily count each rib, the way his hipbones protruded in sharp points and the shallowness of his cheeks, all together made Sam look emaciated and ill. Months, weeks or days the time frame no longer made any difference, from the first attack by the demon Sam was no longer the same person. He may resemble the former Samuel Winchester, son of John and Mary and brother to Dean, physically but now

There was a new and not so improved Sam Winchester, one who tired easily, with a broken body and fractured memories, who often cried himself to sleep in fear because nothing is familiar anymore.

Taking a deep breath, Dean shook his head and tried to pull himself out of the depression he was sliding into again. Tenderly he finished drying his brother and then dressed him in warm tracksuit pants and a long sleeved T-shirt before covering him with blankets, Sam stirred and murmured something under his breath before a soft sigh passed from his lips and he fell into a deep exhaustive sleep. Brushing a stray hair from Sam's eyes, Dean felt the tears prickle again, his anger flared and he turned away from Sam stormed through the door and ran down the stairs and out the front door.

As his feet hit the road Dean cursed himself and let the guilt points wrack up, he replayed the chain of events repeatedly in his mind, each time another point got added, his self-contempt and ineptness flared opening older and still festering wounds.

_'Gonna go and get some food, whatcha feel like Dean?' Sam asked tired of watching Dean clean his guns again. He may be a slob about everything else but his guns were always meticulously cleaned and oiled. _

_'Hmm burger, pizza, beer whatever dude ... need money?' Dean asked without looking up._

_'Nah I got it, so you want a burger pizza with a topping of beer?' Sam smirked grabbing his coat and heading towards the door, 'want pineapple as well.'_

_'Whatever dude!'_

_Sam laughed and snagged the keys to the impala before Dean had a chance to realise it, the door closed behind him with a soft click, blinking Dean looked up and then shrugged his shoulders before returning to his task._

_Pacing the room Dean stared at his watch again, two hours, no way it would take two hours for pizza and beer, hitting the speed dial Dean waited impatiently as the cell phone rang out, this time even voicemail didn't click on. 'Dammit Sammy.' He growled more out of worry than anger though, grabbing his leather jacket Dean stormed out of the motel room and came to a skidding stop. The impala sat innocently in its park, the driver's side door closed but unlocked, the keys still in the lock. A pizza box and a six pack of beer on the ground in a bizarre form of abstract art. The pizza topping oozed through the cardboard box, with a large footprint embellished on the top, the beer swirled around the tomato sauce, cheese and some sort of meat in a foaming mess, shards of glass finished the look. 'Sam!' Dean yelled turning around in a full circle, he stared at the nearly empty car park and darkened rooms of the motel. 'Sam!'_

His breath came in heaving gasps as he ran laps around Bobby's junkyard, forcing himself to run faster with each lap, not wanting to give in to his aching muscles or sweat slicked skin. Images of Sam in the hospital surfaced, threats of force-feeding tubes, that nurse Kelly watching Sam like a hawk. The fits Sam threw, terrifying jumbles of memory and disempowerment caught in Dean's mind, stuck, static and repetitive. A hoarse cry came from deep within as he finally stumbled and fell onto his knees, his hands scrapping on the dirt and gravel. Kneeling there in the mud and stones heavy, heaving sobs ripped through him as the tears fell. His stomach cramping along with the sobs and he expelled his breakfast and lunch in one large retch another piece of technicolour abstract art to add to his imagined collection.

'Sammy.' He moaned sliding backwards, he sat on his heels and lifted his tearstained face to the sky, just as the lightest touch of misting rain caressed his cheeks. Cooling the heat emanating from him. slowly he climbed to his feet and stumbled back to the house, back to his new life, tending his disabled brother, housebound and retired from hunting ... well full-time hunting anyway.

'Should be careful you know Dean, running in the wet, might have an accident and fall, might even hurt yourself and then what would your brother do?' A mocking voice came from just out of Dean's peripheral vision, turning he frowned and stared at the shadows between the piles of wrecked cars.

'Who the fuck are you?'

'Now, now, Dean that's not nice.' The voice whispered seductively, twisting itself around Dean, 'come closer and you will find out.'

'Fuck off I am so not in the mood for this.' Dean snarled before turning back to his original destination.

'I can help Sam.' the voice came at Dean again, this time from directly behind him.

Spinning around he stared at a hooded shape floating ethereally in the air just behind him.

'Who the fuck are you and ... nah know what? I don't give a flying fuck who you are or what you want. Just leave me and my brother alone.'

'Afraid I can't do that Dean.' the figure moved closer, gliding over the rocky ground effortlessly.

'I know what happened to Sam, I can help him regain his strength and all of his memories.'

'What do you know about him? Nothing it's all just a trick and I aint falling for it.'

'Fine then, so what if I take you instead?'

'Like I said aint interested so why don't you go and sell your hoodoo crap somewhere else.'

'Dean think about this, I can be very reasonable if I choose to be.'

'Hmm, nope not gonna change my mind.' Dean bit back another round of cussing, turned on his heel and deliberately strode away from the shrouded intruder.

'Hey Bobby you here?' he called out as he bent to take his muddied runners off, 'Bobby?'

'Yeah Dean,' Bobby appeared at the door with his permanent scowl, 'Sam's awake and been asking where you're at.'

'Tell him I'm right...' But, before Dean could finish what he was saying, he vanished before Bobby could register what happened.

'Dean!' he yelled and searched the area with a quick visual, 'Dean where are you?'

'Bobby what is it?' Caleb came running up towards Bobby, only arriving in time to see Dean disappear, 'what happened to Dean?'

'Dunno, ah fuck I'm getting too old for this shit Cal.' Bobby grumbled pushing his baseball cap back and scrubbing his hands over his bearded face, 'what am I gonna tell Sammy?'

'Tell Sammy what Bobby?' A weak but determined voice started both of the men, turning around Bobby stared in amazement at Sam, who stood grasping the railing with a death grip, 'what's wrong?'

'Sam did you just manage to get downstairs by yourself?'

'Ah ... yeah I guess I did, I – I heard you calling for Dean and got worried.'

'Boy will you go and sit down before you fall down,' Bobby chided Sam gently, wearing a proud grin he helped Sam to a chair and then sat in the one opposite waiting for Caleb to come in and give him some back up.

'Bobby what's going on?' Sam asked again, 'what is it? Where's Dean?'

'Ah I dunno how to tell you this but...'

'But what Bobby? Caleb what the hell is going on?'

'Dean must have gone for a run, he ah just got back and was taking his sneakers off when...' Bobby stopped speaking and stared at Sam for a moment all traces of his smile gone, 'when Dean just vanished Sam.'

'Vanished? How?'

'Just like that, poof gone, one minute here the next he's gone.'

'No ... no, not Dean.' Sam muttered his voice breaking, 'he can't be gone Bobby.'

* * *

Dean stared around in disbelief, one minute he was talking to Bobby next minute he's waking up in another place entirely. Groaning softly he squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out the bright lights.

'I wish that you had just let me help you Dean.'

'You again, I shoulda known, so gonna show me your face or what?'

The figure cupped its hands around Dean's face and tilted his head back, slowly Dean opened his eyes and stared in horror at the sight before him.

'Who the ... who or what are you?'

'My name is Greglorious, I am a demon yes but not one like you are used to.' It said tightening its grip on Dean's face. 'You can call me Greg if you want though.'

'So Greg what the freaking hell is going on now?' Dean snarled curling his upper lip in anger, 'take me back to Sam.'

'I am afraid I cannot do that Dean.'

'Why? You brought me here you can take me back.'

'It's not as simple as that.' Greglorious sighed, letting go of Dean's face it moved away slightly, 'it was either you or your brother does not matter which.'

'What do you want?'

'Believe me Dean if there was any other way,' the demon smiled then, the true face of evil appeared to crack and dissolve revealing a more human countenance. 'Is this better?'

'So okay you are one fugly demonic thingy but what does that have to do with Sam or me?'

'A lot, did you ever wonder exactly who took Sam to begin with?' the demon smiled and ran a forked tongue of its teeth. 'He was rather delectable really.'

'You?'

'Hmm in a word yes.'

'But you're not ... I mean I saw the demon who ...'

'Just one of my various personas, depending on who or what I am torturing or screwing with minds, doesn't really matter.'

'So Greg, what do you want me for?'

'I wanted Sammy back actually, he was so delectable.' Greglorious sighed, 'but he is too protected where he is, with the three of you hunters and all of your paraphernalia.'

'What a shame.'

'I have had my minions in the past snag him for me but what can I say they can only do so much and then they're worthless.'

'You still haven't answered my question, why me and why Sam?'

'Well, it's like this ... Sam's abilities and memories are worth a small fortune on the demonic market, originally I took him because of that ... power and stuff but then ... then I got to taste Sam, his essence, his blood, his sex.'

'I am going to kill you slowly, and then bring you back so I can kill you again,' Dean threatened his lips curled back in a lethal mix of snarling anger and pure honesty.

'He could really take the pain ... your father taught the two of you well, nothing seemed to make any difference to him. Chains, whips, floggers, blades, used em all and nothing seemed to break him. until ... I showed him your death.'

'You what?'

'Your death, it was quite poetic actually ... I shed a tear for you.'

'Hate to break it to ya Greg but dude I aint dead.'

'True, though that can be rectified, no I just needed Sam to believe it and well he did.'

'You tortured him, raped him and then forced him to watch my so-called death?'

'In a nutshell ... yes.' The demon smirked enjoying the look of shock turning into horror turning in fury across Dean's face. 'Oh I wish I had a camera!'

'Let me go and I'll show you a camera.' Dean fought against his bonds, as though he only just realised that he was restrained – the ropes bit into his wrists behind the back of the chair and his into his ankles where they were tied to the rear legs forcing them into an awkward angle.

'Now, now, temper, temper, we have enough time to get very well acquainted.'

'What the freaking hell does that mean?'

'It means dear boy, you are going to be my guest until that delectable brother comes for you.'

'If you haven't noticed, Sam's paralysed.'

'Something tells me that a simple little thing like that will keep you brother away.'

Dean opened his mouth to shoot off a well worded retort when he stopped himself, as much as he wanted to deny it, he knew it was true, no matter what Sam will come looking for him.

'Yes, yes now I have to make a phone call, do you mind if I borrow yours?' the demon grinned waving Dean's cell phone in front of him, 'no? I didn't think so.' He waved a hand and a gag tied itself around Dean's head, effectively silencing him.

'Hmm let me see oh yes, here it is ... speed dial gotta love it.' Greglorious smirked and hit the small button, 'Why hello Sam, long time no speak ... how you doing?'

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

----------------------------

CHAPTER 2

Sam dropped the phone and stared up at Bobby in horror, he tried to speak but nothing came out, all he could see in front of him was his tormentor, he felt the sting of the whips, the burning of the wax he remembered the pain from the first time the creature assaulted him. It all came rushing back in one insidious memory, hidden by his own mind for reasons Sam never understood until now. As soon as he had heard that voice the walls came tumbling down and released the last fragments of Sam's torment into his fragile grip on sanity.

'Its back and it has Dean.' he whispered more to himself than to Bobby and Caleb.

'Who? What? Sam you're not making sense.' Bobby said leaning forward he tried to get Sam to focus but it was an un-winnable feat, he was lost in memories and sights that only Sam could see.

'Bobby?' Caleb whispered behind the older man and indicated for him to step aside, showing Bobby the cell phone when he came closer. 'Got the number in memory it's Dean's cell, we should be able to do a GPS tracking.'

'Okay, I'll stay here with Sam an' let you get on with it,' Bobby said happy to get out of anything technological. Going back to Sam the older hunter sat in the chair opposite Sam and watched the young man slide further away from him.

Large tears dropped unnoticed down Sam's cheeks, his green eyes dull and dark, his breath coming in short shuddering gasps, but it was the look on Sam's face that worried Bobby the most, a look of utter hopelessness.

'Sammy, come on son talk to me.' Bobby whispered gruffly when he got no response from Sam he sat up a little straighter and gripped Sam's shoulders tightly, giving him a slight shake as he spoke harsher than he wanted to but he was running out of time, 'your brother needs you Sam snap out of it.'

Sam blinked and looked at Bobby as though he had just been struck across the face, 'Sam listen to me, Dean is missing and he needs you, Dean needs you Sam damn it.'

'Dean needs me?' Sam repeated the words.

'Yes, now come on I need you to talk to me Sam tell me what you ... what you remember.'

'No.' Sam shook his head vehemently, 'no.'

'Son it's the only way, we need to know what we're up against.'

'Then I would have to ... I can't Bobby.'

'You have to – for Dean's sake Sam.'

'That's low Bobby,' Sam whispered dropping his head and breaking eye contact with the older hunter, 'why did it come back?'

'Who or what came back? Who was on the phone Sam?'

'It was, Greglorious it has Dean.'

'Greglorious?' Bobby mentally filed the name away for future research once he and Sam finish their talk. 'Greglorious is a?'

'Not sure, more than a demon but not quite a true devil,' Sam sniffled softly, 'okay ah it all started when I went out to get something to eat while Dean cleaned the guns. I don't know exactly what happened just something got me from behind, but when I turned nothing was there, next thing I can remember is someone injecting me ... then I woke up lying on a bed naked.' Sam blinked away more tears and pulled away from Bobby's touch, 'I don't really remember the exact sequence of events to begin with, no one came near me, food, and water just appeared, everything was kind of foggy.'

'They drugged your food?'

'I – I think so, that or the water or both.' Sam said glancing at Bobby and then looked away before he spoke again, 'then it came in to the room ... wearing a robe and hood so I couldn't see its face. It said that its name was Greglorious, it took me for my mind and memories, said that I was valuable on the black market, something to do with what the demon did to me.'

'So it wasn't connected to the yellow eyed bastard?'

'No, actually I think that it is a higher level devil than him, man Bobby it was ugly. Not just human ugly, but the eyes ... actually the face was reptilian in looks, the eyes like a snakes but red and it had a forked tongue.' Sam lifted his head up surprise written across his face, 'ya know Bobby I never remembered that until just now.'

'What else Sammy?'

'It was big I guess, although when it got rid of the robes it appeared human, even the face changed,' a shudder passed through Sam when he remembered seeing it naked, 'like the true identity cracked and fell away leaving a new human body in its place, it kept the fork tongue and fangs. It wanted me to tell it everything I knew about hunting, about dad and about what happened to mom. I wouldn't tell it, then it started to – to get violent, I tried to fight back and even landed a few, but I still felt the effects of the drugs and it was just too strong in the end. The next thing I clearly remember is being chained to a whipping block I thought went out with the Inquisitions, every time I refused to answer a question.' Sam paused lost in thought for a second while he fought to control his raging emotions and then carefully placing a Deanesque mask on his face he looked back at Bobby. 'Time passed fairly quickly between the punishments and the questioning then it ... decided to try another form of abuse,' Sam's voice hitched and his carefully constructed mask threatened to crack under the scrutiny of Bobby's gaze and Sam's perceived humiliation. 'He - It raped me Bobby, it stopped the whipping this particular time and had his guards ... they held me down and it took me in front of them. Then it did it whenever, it felt like it, no matter where or when or who was around. I – I felt like I was being ripped apart but I still tried, I didn't give up Bobby.' Sam declared searching the man's face for some sign of acceptance.

'I never doubted it Sam.' Bobby said his voice rough with uncharacteristic emotion, inwardly he marvelled at how Sam managed to survive at all. Any average person would have buckled after the first round of abuse and told the demon what it wanted to know, or had simply given up and died. But not Sam Winchester he and his brother are definitely not average men.

'Then, then it showed me ...' Sam's voice finally broke and tears fell again, 'it ah showed me Dean's death, and, and his body.' The last words coming in a whisper.

'Ah Sam I am so sorry.'

'I – I couldn't fight anymore, I gave in ... how weak am I ... I couldn't fight for Dean even if he did die I couldn't fight for him anymore.'

'Sam you are far from weak, believe me I don't know of many people who would survive like you have.'

'Yeah well I still caved, still gave up, gave Greglorious access to everything that it wanted I didn't care anymore. I did fight back when it tried to take Dean's memories from me. I – I thought that it was gonna kill me then, the next thing was that I woke up in hospital and well you know the rest.'

'Thank you Sam.'

'For what?'

'Trusting me enough to tell me,' Bobby said and then he cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders, 'okay we have a job to do.'

'It wants me ... if I give myself up then it will release Dean.'

'That aint gonna happen and you wanna know why Sam? Coz I am not going to be the one who has to face Dean and tell him.' Bobby said earnestly eliciting a small smile from the youngest Winchester.

'Bobby Greglorious, it, it has no sense of wrong ... nothing is sacred to it, it thrives on pain, sex and terror. It will do things to Dean without touching him; it wants Dean's mind and memories too. We're both the sons of the famous hunter John Winchester.' Sam spat the words out.

---------------------------------

Dean gasped for breath and fought to control his gag reflexes; his stomach cramped and sent another shiver through him, wanting to expel the contents in rebellion.

'You are tough aren't you my golden boy.' Greglorious sighed running a clawed finger down Dean's cheek. 'Oh what's the matter cat's got your tongue?'

Dean swore against the gag, his muffled words needing no translating the intent perfectly understandable. He watched the crazy creature warily as it stalked around the room, his body tense as he watched and waited.

'Hmm what to do next golden boy?' Greglorious sighed morphing into a tall curvy woman, with long red hair sweeping her hips and large blue eyes; she wore only a leather corset and leggings, knee high shining black boots appeared on the feet, with five inch stiletto heels. Dean's eyes widened as he watched the transformation, the bastard took her straight from Dean's fantasies.

'So Dean do you like this better?' her voice smooth and deep like liquid velvet, 'I can do a lot for you.' Straddling his lap she wound her long legs around his waist and looped her arms around his neck, moving close she ran her forked tongue along his cheek and then started to nibble at his throat. Dean let out a strangled, muffled cry and tried to buck it off, the feel of the reptilian tongue making his nausea worse.

'Oh whatsa matta Darling? You more like your brother ... hmm want it the other way?'

Dean snorted and head-butted his assailant taking pleasure in the sharp pain in his forehead when he saw the stunned fractured look on the creature. He managed to work the gag out of his mouth and gulped in fresh air as he watched the creature turn back to the original form. 'No one talks about my brother like that.'

'You will pay for your disobedience.' Greglorious hissed rising to its full height it conjured a cat-o-nine-tails and flailed Dean's bare chest with it. Not hard enough to split the skin but enough to cause painful stripes and deep bruising.

'Bring it on.' Dean snarled, suddenly the ropes binding him to the chair disappeared and Dean found himself slamming face forward into the wall, his arms spread out as far as they could go and tied with coarse ropes.

'Oh what no foreplay?' he quipped, biting his lip when the first strike hit, the cane hard and inflexible, each hit harder and faster than the last leaving Dean gasping for air and slumped against the wall. His right cheek grazed by the rough stone wall, spitting out a globule of blood and mucous he watched it splatter on the floor, uncontrollable giggles erupted from his throat, gurgling upwards they sounded at first like sobs but the harsh barks soon took on a deeper resonance of laughing, bordering on hysteria.

'Shut up.' Greglorious snarled in Dean's ear.

'Why you gonna spank me some more?' Dean choked out the question unable to stop himself.

'Stop it.' Greglorious shrieked angrily slamming Dean's face against the wall until the young human slumped lifelessly, his face a mess of split skin and blood. The ropes holding him to the wall fell away and Dean dropped to a boneless pool at the creature's feet. Moaning incoherently Dean tried to pull himself back from toppling over the edge into complete darkness, he could hear the demonic creature mumbling and pacing around him but he couldn't open his eyes, blood streamed over them, gluing them closed.

'Why do you Winchesters constantly try to fight me?' Greglorious rambled oblivious to Dean's predicament, 'first John, tried to hunt me down like I was vermin or something and then Sam, he had to fight me non-stop, he even refused to break when I took him so hard he bled for days and now you. You defy me with that sharp tongue of yours and what you consider to be your clever wit.' It stopped and bent down over Dean, 'perhaps I should have that silver tongue of yours cut out.' It clicked a strange noise and lowered itself until it lay over Dean, then flicking out its tongue it lapped at the blood covering its prisoner. The touch of the coarse tongue was too much for Dean and he started to retch, projectile vomiting straight at the creature's face. An unholy scream echoed through the large semi-abandoned building.

------------------------

Panting heavily he lifted his head and strained to hear anything, or anyone around but he all he could hear was silence. Slitting his eyes open all he could see was a red haze, his body felt stiff and sore but a strange feeling in his forehead made him wince and pry at it with a free hand. A series of oddly shaped lumps spread across brow just under the hairline made him frown and it ache even more. His whole face felt so stiff and unnatural. Working his jaw he tried to open his mouth but it hurt too much, a large swelling on the right side brought tears to his eyes when he touched it, the area so painful to touch made him feel even more squirmy. Pushing himself up against the wall, he rested his head against the cool bricks and heaved a sigh. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he tried to take some pressure off his back but it didn't work, the skin stretched with the movement and hurt even more if that was humanly possible. Unable to sit or lean against the wall he finally laid back down again this time on his side.

'So my golden boy, have you decided to behave yourself yet?' the mocking voice had no effect on him, instead he lay staring at the floor in front of him, trying to breath through the pain in his head.

'Silence hmm, now that is new for you I must say but rather rude.' Greglorious clicked its forked tongue again and lifted Dean from his prone position and had him suspended in the air instead. 'So what am I to do with you today?'

Dean rolled his eyes and glared at his captor, the swelling on his jaw preventing him from landing a perfectly worded jibe. 'Oh you poor thing you look so hurt and banged up. Can't you talk?'

Dean shook his head and tried to look away from the creature but each time he did he found it harder to breathe. 'When will you Winchesters learn that I am the one in control? That you answer to me now and no one else.'

Dean shook his head and tried to concentrate on his breathing, closing his eyes he shut out the bright red haze blinding him.

Snarling Greglorious went to throw Dean against the wall when it stopped and instead made both of them vanish and reappear in a bedroom; it draped Dean onto the bed and summoned its healer to appear immediately. Pacing the length of the window, it waited for the healer to finish working on Dean's fractured jaw, 'when will you be done?' It snapped for the third time.

'I have treated the wound Master Greglorious but the bones need to set and heal, I am afraid that he cannot speak for a while or can he eat properly.'

'I ordered you to fix him.'

'Forgive me Master but until his jaw heals there is nothing more I can do. I have cleaned and dressed the wounds, and worked on the swelling but it is going to take time.'

Greglorious hissed and flicked its finger at the unfortunate healer, the only remains a small pile of dust that Greglorious scattered with his foot disdainfully. 'So my pet it seems that your fragile jaw didn't take to being slammed against a wall.'

Dean stared at him incredulously, his eyes still bloodshot and swollen were finally free of the blood, and he could see, admittedly blurry but better than the red haze.

He touched the swelling again and breathed a sigh of relief when it felt smaller and less sensitive to touch.

Greglorious suddenly appeared on the bed, straddling Dean's hips, licking its lips with that cursed tongue it shrugged off its clothing and stared down at Dean with a lascivious look, 'hmm no talking, no protesting, I could do whatever I want and no one will hear you.' It mused running clawed fingers down Dean's chest.

Wide-eyed Dean struggled to buck the creature off him, starting to hyperventilate when he saw that flicking tongue coming towards him.

'Master, there is company coming.' A bodiless voice sounded in the room, hissing angrily Greglorious lifted its head and snarled at the interruption.

'What is it?'

'I think you will want to see who is on the way Master. It is to do with the one you seek.'

Greglorious dressed itself in the black robes, blew a kiss at Dean, and disappeared giggling in anticipation.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

**Disclaimer:** Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

**Warnings:** Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

**Note 1:** I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

**NOTE 2:** Sorry bout the shortness of the chapter but my crook shoulder is playing up after doing too much typing today! LOL But at least it is better than nothing.

CHAPTER 3

Sam fought against the ropes around his wrists, tying him to the bed frame; he glared viciously at Caleb who stood guard by the door of the motel room.

'Untie me Cal.' He snarled pulling again on the ropes, not caring about the burns and blisters his tugging caused.

'Sorry Sam but this is for the best for both you and Dean.'

'How? Just tell me how it is for the best.' Sam begged, 'Caleb please let me go, Bobby ... Bobby doesn't understand what that creature can do.'

'Sam if we let you go then we'd lose both of you and that aint gonna happen, now settle down and relax coz you aint going anywhere.'

'Caleb...'

'Can it Sam, I can gag ya too if I want.' Caleb said emotionlessly, avoiding the hurt look on Sam's face, 'not gonna even look at those puppy dog eyes Sam.'

'It's gonna kill them both Caleb, please let me go and I can stop this.' Sam begged.

'And how you gonna do that Sam?' Caleb asked sitting down on a chair by the door, 'by giving yourself up? Then what the creature kills you and Dean and Bobby?'

'Caleb you don't understand, it only wants me.'

'Then you're not going anywhere near it so deal Sam.'

---------------

Bobby stood silently as the demonic guards searched him before leading him down the long winding hallway, the hunter noticing how far down they went, the hall more and more resembling a snake's hole.

Finally, they reached a circular area where they left him standing alone, curiously Bobby started to move around memorising everything he could see, knowing that they will need the information later on.

'Who are you? Where is my boy?' Greglorious hissed appearing in the chamber directly in front of Bobby.

'Sorry to disappoint but its just me, Sam aint coming, now or ever.'

'NO!' the lizard like demon screeched, angrily tossing Bobby across the room to collide with the wall, 'I want my boy back.'

'You gave him up, you can't have him back,' Bobby declared, 'he's mine now.'

'Never!' Greglorious screamed launching itself at Bobby again, when it abruptly stopped in mid-flight a look of shock on the reptilian face, 'what did you do?'

'Oh just a charm or two.' Bobby countered pushing himself back up to standing and wiped his hands on his clothes, 'oh and a little potion.'

'You poisoned me!' It hissed staring down at the affected claws, the body turning more into the form of a snake rather than humanoid.

'Nah can't be that lucky, but can back you off a bit.' Bobby scoffed, 'where's Dean?'

'Heal me!'

'Where's Dean?'

'Heal me!' the creature slithered forward now in the complete form of a large snake with gold and green scales and a large misshapen head.

Moving quickly, Bobby kept his distance from the ailing snake demon and started running away from the original tunnel and started to search the underground compound.

'Dean!' He called repeatedly, 'Dean where are you lad?'

A muffled call, made Bobby skid to a stop and creep carefully into a room off the tunnel. He found Dean lying in the middle of a bed, beaten and bruised with a swollen and obviously broken jaw.

'Geeze Dean what the hell ...?'

'Mmmmph.' Dean tried to speak but his jaw would not work for him, desperately clinging to Bobby Dean let him help him out of the bed and start the arduous journey towards the upper levels.

They could hear the hissed screams of pain and frustration of Greglorious echoing through the chambers, Dean grunted at his rescuer but only received a cheeky grin in response and a 'hurry up'. When they breached the ground and made their way to through the abandoned building, Bobby winked at Dean and flicked a small detonator on his belt.

The explosion rang through the area and the ground shook under their feet. Breaking into a run Dean and Bobby just managed to get back to the older man's truck before the minions of the snake demon rose from the cracks and headed towards them.

A quick shrug from Bobby answered Dean's enquiring stare as the sped away from the property. 'Not gonna hold it for long but at least I got ya back.'

Dean made a sound that sounded almost like Sam and it elicited a bigger grin from Bobby, 'he's okay Dean but he's gonna be pissed.'

Bobby helped a weakened Dean out of the truck and they headed towards the motel room, 'son of a bitch!' Bobby ground out when he saw the damaged door of their room, shifting into hunter mode both of the men managed to draw guns and take each side of the door, stealthily Bobby moved into the room ahead of Dean, a frustrated growl sealing Dean's worst thoughts.

Blood spattered the walls and furniture, the ropes that had previously held Sam to the bed still hung from the frame there was no sign of either Caleb or Sam.

Bobby turned to be greeted by Dean's death glare, 'now calm down Dean, I left Sam here with Caleb, hell we even shifted him here without his knowing of it before I came to get you. We figured that he should have been safer waiting here than at my place.'

'Mmmmph.' Dean mumbled felling Bobby with a right cut.

'Aint my fault Dean, sure we weren't followed.' Bobby shot back nursing his fast bruising jaw; he scrambled to his feet and cast a miserable look around the room.

'Cal's cell is flashing.' Bobby said more to himself, picking it up he sat down on a chair and flicked it open. 'A message.' He looked up at Dean, 'from Doctor Mac.'

Dean stared wide-eyed at the other man, his adrenaline rush now dissipated, Dean crashed to the ground wincing in pain.

'Don't go anywhere, we'll be in touch. Doctor Mac.' Bobby read the message out and then glanced over at Dean. 'From one fucker to another.'

Dean nodded his head in agreement and then held his aching jaw as the pain scorched through the swelling.

---------------

Caleb sat with Sam propped against him, trying to shield the younger man's damaged body from the dampness of their current prison. Sam finally started stirring after an hour of their new captivity. He could feel the shivers coursing through Sam's body, 'hey dude you hanging in there?'

'Caleb what happened?' Sam mumbled through clenched teeth, his was cold through to his bones.

'Not sure, I remember arguing with you, then the door flying off its hinges literally, gases, fighting and then waking up here.' Caleb winced as he felt the bruises lining his face. 'How about you?'

'My, my arm and leg I can't feel them Cal and I'm so tired and so cold.' Sam said his voice fading as his eyes drooped closed again.

'Nope Sam hey stay with me, Sam! Sammy!'

'It's Sam not Sammy.' Came the muffled retort.

'Stay with me Sam, or I will call you Sammy from now on.'

'Only Dean...' Sam's voice hitched slightly when he mentioned his brother's name.

'Dean's fine Sam, I'm positive Bobby got him out and they're working on getting us out.'

'Don't wanna do this anymore Caleb.' Sam sighed, 'it hurts too much.'

'What does dude?'

'Remembering.' Sam said simply.

'Sam it's ...' Caleb started but stopped when the door opened and light flooded the dark, damp cellar.

'Well, well look what we have here! Do you two need a bed?' the cruel voice taunted them, the face hidden amongst the bright light.

'Fuck off and leave us alone.' Caleb growled.

'Sorry can't do that, I need Sam too much.'

'What? Why?'

'Because you are one of my chosen ones and I need you to help the other one.'

'I can't, I'm broken!' Sam sighed his voice sounding childlike. 'I want Deanie.'

'Hang in there Sammy.' Caleb said tightening his arms slightly, 'we'll get back to Deanie.'

'What is going on with him?'

'What do you think, between you and your snake buddy he's confused, hurt, and damn just leave the kid alone.'

'One more word and it will be your last.' The demon threatened as he moved closer to his prisoners. He crouched in front of Sam and regarded him closely, 'what is wrong with him?'

'I told you, there's only so many mind games that can be played before something gets broken.'

'What of his visions?'

'His what?' Caleb asked preferring to act dumb on this one.

'His gifts, what about his gifts?' the demon snarled.

'He barely functions above the age of six what do you want from him?'

'Hurts Cal, I wanna go home.' Sam wailed miserably turning to Caleb; he buried his face against the man's chest and started to cry softly. 'I want Deanie!'

The demon watched the performance in front of him, unsure if it was real or if it was just an act, he took in the limpness of Sam's leg and arm and the pallor of his face.

'Bring them.' He ordered before disappearing to find the doctor, he wanted Sam checked and ready to work with the girl immediately.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Voice of Reason **

**Sequel to Who Am I?**

**Disclaimer:** Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

**Warnings:** Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

**Note:** I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

**CHAPTER 4**

Caleb refused to leave Sam's side even with the threat of certain torture and probably death. But when the demon saw the panic rising in Sam he hissed and disappeared leaving behind the sulphuric ashes and smell.

'Deanie? Wanna go home now.' Sam pouted clutching Caleb's hand.

'Doctor?' Caleb looked up nervously at the doctor Sam was deteriorating by the minute.

'Sam, Sam can you look at me?' Doctor Mac asked frowning angrily at the young man making Sam whimper and clutch at Caleb even harder with his good hand. 'Sam look at me.'

'Go way, you're a bad man.' Sam cried out pulling Caleb closer to him, 'scared Deanie.'

'It's okay Sammy no one's gonna hurt you.' Caleb said softly, 'what the hell do you think you are doing doctor?'

'From what I can tell, Sam has completely reverted to a child's mentality I am not a psychologist but I feel that this time there may be no coming back.'

'Are you saying that he is going to stay a child in his mind?' Caleb asked appalled at the thought, to be a child trapped in an adult's body, a very large adult's body. 'Oh god Sammy I am so sorry.'

'His paralysis is another point of concern for me, he has profound muscle wastage, without use and strength building exercise the muscles have started to waste and breakdown. I fear that Sam is ...'

'Don't you dare say it doc don't you dare Sam is not going to die now or anytime soon.'

'His body is breaking down young man, his heart and lungs are showing signs of damage and compounded with the abuse and brain damage, there is nothing more I can do for him.'

'Deanie? My head hurts.' Sam whispered tugging on Caleb's shirt, 'head hurts.'

'Can you give him something to ease the pain?' Caleb asked feeling completely out of his depth.

'That is about all I can do for him.' Doctor Mac sighed filling a syringe he held it menacingly over Sam's face watching for any signs of his faking. Sam's large luminous eyes fixed on the needle tears trickling down his cheeks, his breathing hitched.

'No, no, no go way don't want it, no Deanie!' Sam screamed trying to move his unresponsive body as the needle came closer, 'go way.' Terrified Sam closed his eyes and screamed as his fear and temper collided, forcing a wave of psychic energy to pulsate through the room, sending the doctor crashing against the wall. Stunned Caleb stared down at Sam, who eventually opened his eyes and stared up at the man, fresh tears falling, 'hurts Deanie, Sammy hurts.' He whimpered brokenly. 'Sleepy.'

'It's gonna be okay Sammy.' Caleb whispered hoarsely unsure of what to say or do, his stare fixed on the unconscious doctor lying on the other side of the room and of the mayhem that had surrounded them. 'We gotta get you outta here.'

'Home?'

'Yeah Sammy we gonna go home, but I need your help.' Caleb said crouching down to meet Sam's guarded gaze, that was when he saw the flicker of intelligence behind those green eyes.

'Home Deanie?' Sam whispered in a tight voice.

'Home Sammy but you have to be good and do what I say okay?'

'Oh owkay.' Sam sighed trying to sit up, 'Deanie ... my arm an' leg won' work.'

'That's okay Sammy, I'm gonna help you,' Caleb said sliding himself under Sam's arm he braced the boy's paralysed side and took the brunt of his weight.

'Deanie?' Sam tilted his head to look down at Caleb, 'you ... you're not Deanie!' Sam struggled in Caleb's grasp.

'No Sam calm down, it's me Cal remember me?'

'You friend of daddy's and Deanie's?' Sam frowned trying to remember Caleb's face.

'That's it Sammy, you're doing good with remembering.'

'Deanie says that I got a good memory.' Sam smiled calmed down, 'where's Deanie? Why isn't he here?'

'We're gonna go Dean but you gotta be good for me Sammy okay?'

'Yeppers, I can do that.' Sam nodded his head solemnly, 'where's the bad man?'

'Well you took one out yourself when you got mad and the other one disappeared not too sure where he is.' Caleb said as they neared the doorway to outside, worriedly he cast another glance around; this was too easy for them just to walk out like this.

'Whatsa matta Cal?'

'Nothing Sammy, you're doing real good.'

'Bad men coming aren't they?' Sam asked his fear clear in his voice.

'Yeah we have to hurry Sammy, you okay to help me?'

'Uhhuh.' Sam nodded, 'I can help, and I'm big now I's six years old.'

'You are a big boy then Sammy.' Cal couldn't help grinning as he saw the childish innocence reflected on Sam's face. 'okay can you stay here for me? So I can get the door unlocked?'

'Yep, an ... and I gotcha back Cal.' Sam said proudly.

'Yes you have Sammy.' Caleb said stretching out the kinks in his battered body he checked the door for booby-traps and then carefully opened it waiting for a couple of heartbeats before he risked glancing outside. 'Okay Sammy we gotta really hurry now okay?'

'Uhhuh.' Sam frowned and yawned, 'sleepy Cal.'

'Hey, hey Sammy stay with me buddy, we gotta go find Deanie.'

Sam's head shot up and his eyes wide as his stared down at Caleb, 'Deanie we find Deanie?'

'Yeah Dude ... but we have to be very quiet and very quick okay?'

'Okkies.' Sam nodded and he tightened his grip on Caleb's shirt with his good hand.

Moving as quickly as possible Caleb and Sam managed to cross the grounds in front of the house, 'hurts Cal.' Sam whimpered softly.

'Not much longer kiddo, you're doing great.' Caleb said risking a glance up at Sam's pale and drawn face.

Heading towards a car Caleb scanned the area for possible attack and then tried the car door, 'too damn easy.' He muttered.

'Cal you cussed.' Sammy admonished the older man.

'Sorry dude, just I have a bad feeling and want to get out of here.' Caleb managed a small smile for his young charge and then moving Sam towards the car. He helped him into the passenger seat, carefully placing his numb limbs so he couldn't hurt himself before rushing back to the driver's side, just as he was about to get in he heard the sounds of yelling, could smell the acrid stench of sulphur and felt the change in the air. 'hang on Sammy this is gonna get bumpy.' Cal grinned as he hotwired the car and revved the engine.

'We gonna drive fast Cal?'

'Hell yeah.'

'Cal! Cussing.'

-----------------------

'Dean where in the green blazes do you think you're going?' Bobby demanded watching Dean struggle to pull his jacket on. Dean glared at him and struggled to mouth Sam but failed miserably. Frustrated he span around and smashed his fist into the wall sending shockwaves through his already abused body.

'Holy crap Dean will you calm down.' Bobby yelled grabbing Dean by the shoulders he held him tightly until his anger started to dissipate.

Dean turned mournful eyes to Bobby and sunk down into the sofa resting his head against the back of the seat.

'I know Dean, we're going to get Sam back but you have to make sure that you're okay first.'

Dean growled and turned his stare into a death glare when they heard a car screech to a halt outside their motel room. Both grabbed the guns and aimed them at the door, cautiously Bobby peered through the window and then sighed with relief and signalled for Dean to lower his weapon. 'Where the hell have you two been?' he demanded flying out the door he greeted Caleb as he jumped out of the car.

'Nice to see your ugly face too Bobby now get over here and help me with Sam.' Caleb snarled back, relieved to see the older hunter alive and relatively unscathed.

'Sammy, we're safe now.' Caleb said softly not wanting to startle the young man, 'come on gonna come and see Bobby?'

'Bobby?' Sam whispered clutching at Cal's shirt, 'where's Deanie?'

'He's ah right inside isn't he Bobby?'

'Yeah he is, swear it Sam.' Bobby said his confusion thick in his voice.

Sam swallowed deeply and looked up at Caleb who smiled and nodded his head, 'okkies Cal.' Awkwardly Cal managed to help Sam out of the car and with Bobby's help got Sam into the motel room. 'Deanie!' Sam cried out excitedly at the sight of his big brother but then his smile faded and he wavered clinging to Caleb, 'Deanie? What's wrong with Deanie?'

'He ah got hurt Sammy,' Bobby said gently sharing a quick glance with Caleb, 'it's okay you can go to him.'

'Deanie got hurt?' Sam asked staring down at Dean, tears started to trickle down his face.

Dean held his shaking hands up to Sam and beckoned him to come, with Caleb's help Sam made his way to the sofa and sat down next to Dean. immediately Sam lifted his good hand and touched Dean's face gently and then he buried his face against Dean's chest and started sobbing.

'Caleb what happened?' Bobby asked taking in the new injuries on both of the young men 'and where the hell did you two come from?'

'First up, we were taken by Doc Mac and the demon's men. They roughed us both up pretty bad, I ah remember waking up with Sam huddled next to me. He ah, he floated between ... well it was like one minute he was fine and then the next he was six years old again. Eventually the six year old won over, the demon went ballistic he wants Sam to help him with this child ... and to use his visions in doing so. When he realised that Sam here was no longer an adult he sent his goons in to take us to the doctor, who by the way is a regular Doctor Mengele, he pronounced that Sam has suffered irreversible brain damage and is permanently a child now, and he reckons that his paralysis is permanent as well.' Caleb took a breath and turned to look at Sam still huddled against Dean's chest, 'Sam got really worked up, I mean really upset and the next thing I know the doctor is flying across the room, everything is flying everywhere actually and the guards were unconscious at the door. Sam then just opened his eyes and I managed to get him out of there. Just as we were procuring a car, they started to sound the alarm and chase us. I managed to slip them but it's only a matter of time before they come looking for us.'

Dean tangled his fingers in Sam's matted hair a snarl coming from deep within his throat the rumbling vibrations made Sam sit back and stare at Dean, 'why you don't talk Deanie?'

'Sammy, a nasty man hurt Dean's mouth, he has to wait until it doesn't hurt so much before he can talk again.'

'So Deanie can't order me or yell?' Sam asked slyly, a giggle rose up his throat 'hmm good thing?'

'Sam!' Bobby admonished him gently but he couldn't help smiling at the grin forming on Sam's pale face.

'Okay I'll take Dean and Sam here back to my place, Cal you wanna fix up here and get rid of the car? Meet us back there.' Bobby said clearing his throat. Caleb nodded wearily and stood up, swaying slightly, 'are you alright to drive Caleb?'

'Probably better than you.' Caleb slapped Bobby on the shoulder on the way out. 'You two boys better behave yourselves for Bobby.'

'We will Cal.' Sammy beamed up at him, 'I have ta answer for Deanie coz he got a big hurt on his face.'

'He sure has kiddo, okay I'll see ya soon.'

'Bye, bye Cal.' Sam said his smile fading as he watched Caleb leave.

'What's the matter Sam?' Bobby asked noticing the change in Sam.

'Caleb got hurt too, my fault he got hurt.'

'Hey, hey Sam no, no it's not your fault, none of this is.' Bobby said as gently as he could muster.

'Deanie mad with me?' Sam whispered turning to look at his silent brother, 'he got mad eyes.'

'No Sammy Dean's not mad with you, he's mad with the bad men who hurt you and Cal and himself.'

'An' you Bobby?' Sam asked earnestly checking out Bobby's battered face.

'Ah aint gonna hurt this old dog.' Bobby said, 'so do the two of you think you can manage to get out to the car without too much trouble?'

Dean glared at Bobby while Sam nodded his head happy to be back with his big brother, 'I is a big boy Bobby I can help Deanie.'

'Okay Sammy but if you need help you call me okay.'

'Owkay.' Sam turned to face Dean a look of consternation on his face making him look even younger, 'Deanie, I got problem ... my arm and leg broken they don' wanna work anymore.'

Dean swiped his hand over Sam's face and stood up in front of his brother waited for the dizziness to subside before holding his hand out for Sam to grip, after three attempts Sam managed to get up and lean against Dean, his damaged arm hanging loosely by his side while he dragged his numb leg. Slowly step-by-step they finally reached the car, too exhausted to worry, the boys climbed into the back together, Sam refusing to let go of Dean's shirt made it impossible for Dean to sit anywhere else.

'Okay boys you all buckled up in there?' Bobby asked grinning at Dean in the rear vision mirror; he could swear he heard Dean cussing at him, which only made him laugh harder.

Sam leant against Dean and rested his head on Dean's shoulder, absently he picked at his numb hand, 'Deanie?' he whispered softly, just loud enough for his brother to hear.

Dean turned to face Sam a little better, swatting at Sam's hand in the process to stop him from worrying his paralysed fingers to the point of hurting himself.

'Deanie? Can I tell you something?'

Dean nodded and waited for Sam to formulate the words in his mind, he could see him trying to work through the jumbled memories and thoughts. 'Dean, I – I try really hard to member everything.'

Dean nodded and muffled a soothing sound, 'Deanie I – I kind of member, being older is that weird?' Sam looked up and studied Dean's face carefully, 'my head hurts when I try to member.'

Dean muffled a couple more sounds and pulled Sam close to him, rubbing small circles on his back to help settle him. 'I – I member daddy but not mommy, I member my girl, girlfriend Jess?'

Dean nodded feeling Sam cuddle closer, 'Deanie why did Jess go way? It's okay Deanie I know that you can't talk, it's okay.' Sam yawned and slipped into an easy sleep, 'sleepy ... head hurts.'

Dean lifted his gaze to stare at the steady pair of eyes he saw in the rear vision mirror, shrugging slightly he pulled Sam closer and sighed deeply. The worry creases on his frown deepening when he noticed that Sam had stuck his thumb into his mouth, something that he hadn't done since he was a tiny toddler terrified of what was in his closet.

'Sam, hey Sam we're here.' Bobby said gently trying to wake the sleeping young man. Dean gave him a couple of shakes but without his voice made little difference. 'Samuel Winchester wake up.' Bobby barked the order winning a wink from Dean.

Sam's head lifted slightly his thumb sliding from his open mouth.

'Five more minutes please Dean.' Sam mumbled.

'No Sam up and at 'em.' Bobby said tugging on Sam until he got him into a sitting position, sleepily Sam blinked at Bobby, and then at Dean confusion darkening his green eyes.

'Bobby? Dean what's going on?'

'Welcome back Sam, now I gotta get you inside.' Bobby said easily sliding Sam back into his hated wheelchair.

'Bobby?' Sam asked staring up at the older hunter, 'what's going on?'

'Tell you inside now I have to get you in there and then I'll come back to get Dean.'

'Dean? What happened to Dean?' Sam asked his voice rising with panic.

'Got his jaw broke and banged up a bit.' Bobby shrugged playing down just how serious Dean's injuries were for now, he'd deal with the fallout later.

Sam opened his mouth to protest but found himself being pushed inside quickly, frustrated he sat and waited until Bobby came back supporting Dean. 'Oh my God Dean!'

'It's worse than it looks Sam.' Bobby said as he eased Dean down onto the sofa and handed him a notepad and pen, 'here you wanna talk you write it.'

Dean glared up at Bobby and then wrote a quick note for the older hunter's eyes only, after reading it Bobby smirked at Dean, 'when you're well enough we'll deal and oh by the way Dean ... what you wrote aint never gonna get happen so deal.'

'Dean?' Sam's voice broke the icy tension and made both hunters turn to look at him, 'are you alright?'

Dean nodded and wrote a quick, _'I'm fine'_ on the pad lifting it up to show Sam.

'Yeah right and I'm the Easter bunny.' Sam muttered rubbing his temples he winced with sudden pain. 'ah damn it.'

'Sam what's wrong?' Bobby asked.

'Head hurts.' Sam muttered, 'so sleepy.'

'Sam?'

'Where's Deanie?' Sam asked blinking rapidly up at Bobby.

'Right there Sam.' Bobby said his concern showing on his face, 'he's just cranky that's all.'

'Why?'

'Coz he can't talk and order us around.' Bobby winked mischievously at Sam then grinned at the silently fuming Dean.

'I wanna go sleep Bobby, sleepy now.' Sam whispered forlornly, 'hurts.'

'What hurts Sammy?'

'My head hurts Bobby, don' feel so good.'

'Okay Sammy how about I take you to your bed and then I bring Dean up and he can get in bed too.'

'Owkay, that alright with you Deanie?' Sam blinked tiredly at his brother; Dean gave him a curt nod and waved him off.

'Be right back,' Bobby grinned.

Dean flipped his finger at Bobby and then returned to his private fuming, watching helplessly as Bobby was the one to help Sam.

Frustrated he threw the notepad across the room groaning with the flare of pain through his abused body.

'Dean you had better get in here now!' Bobby called from the bedroom, pushing the pain down Dean pulled himself upright and staggered to the stairs, using the wall to steady himself he made it up the few steps and lurched into the bedroom.

Breathing heavily he sank down on the side of his bed closest to Sam's and tugged at Bobby to move out of his way.

Sam lay sprawled across the bed his eyes open but unfocused, his body jerked with tiny spasms but the real cause for concern for Bobby was what was appearing on Sam's chest. 'What did they do to you boy?'

Dean's eyes followed Bobby's to where he stared, a small guttural sound came from him pushing himself forward he sat on the bed and lifted Sam's head onto his knee. 'Sam?' he forced the words through his frozen jaws.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

**CHAPTER 5**

Sam sat up suddenly startling both Dean and Bobby, he stared at them with confused eyes listing to his good side when he tried to lift his hand to feel his chest, 'Dean?' he cried out but wasn't looking at his brother. 'Watch out Dean.' He bellowed trying to get up off the bed. 'Dean duck!' his hand flailed around him searching for something only he could know what.

'Sammy?' Bobby asked ignoring the glare from Dean at his using Dean's pet name for Sam, 'Sammy listen to me Dean's fine.'

'Dean behind you.' Sam yelled lifting his hand up as though he held a gun, 'damn it get out of the way.' His entire body shaking violently as he watched the scene play out for himself and no one else. 'No Dean, No!'

'Sam!' Bobby tried again but Sam was too far gone to hear him, 'Sam wake up.'

'No Dean, no it's not right Dean it's not right, I was meant to die not you.' Sam sobbed rocking himself his good hand reaching out to Dean's body. 'Damn it Dean why?'

Bobby and Dean exchanged glances worried at the bizarre behaviour Sam was exhibiting, his sobs the only sound in the still bedroom. 'I was meant to die, not you Dean, not you.' Sam keened his hand reaching and stretching trying to find something. 'No, no it's okay it is all going to be okay.' Sam sniffed a small knife appearing from seemingly nowhere clutched tightly in his hand. 'Not letting you go alone Dean, I'm coming.' Moving faster than either Bobby or Dean could comprehend Sam drew the blade down his numb arm.

'Damn it Sam.' Bobby yelled jumping up he saw the damage Sam had done to his arm in a fraction of a second and took the only action he could think of, pulling back he aimed and hit Sam's jaw with a well aimed full-fisted punch. Silently Sam crumpled backwards the knife falling from his limp fingers.

Drawing in a shuddering breath, he glanced behind him to Dean who nodded slowly knowing it was the only way to stop Sam. Forcing his own abused body to move Dean went to sit on the bed next to Sam, taking the makeshift bandage Bobby made from a sheet Dean wrapped it around his brother's bleeding arm staunching the blood flow.

'Dean, the mark on his chest it's gone.' Bobby exclaimed his eyes wide with shock, damned if he knew how much he could take let alone the two brothers.

Dean ran a trembling hand over Sam's chest; the snake-shaped mark had disappeared as quickly as it came. As soon as Sam made the cut, it started to bleed back into his skin and vanish. Groggily Sam moved groaning softly, he felt as though he had a hangover even though he knew he had not had anything at all to drink. Blinking he stared up at the swollen and bruised face of his brother and the tears shining in the dark green eyes and then he turned his gaze to Bobby, who also had a shell-shocked look and tearstains on his face. 'What?' he managed to get out through the cotton wool coating his mouth.

'Sam?' Bobby breathed relief heavy in his voice, but before he could say anything else he heard a door slamming downstairs and hurried off to see if it was Caleb back in one piece.

Sam blinked and stared up at Dean drinking in the sight of his older brother, confusion filled his not just his eyes but his face as he tried to assimilate everything in the jumble of his mind. 'Dean?' he whispered again reaching a shaking hand up to his brother to see if he was real.

Dean stared down at his brother, unsure of his own raging emotions. His anger fuelled by his broken jaw and the inability to speak to Sam, to ask him the questions Dean had burned into his soul. But he also felt a strange detachment from his brother that was new and festering in the pit of his stomach. Sam just tried to kill himself; Sam watched him die and then decided to take his own life. How can Dean move past that? He witnessed Sam trying to kill himself. His brother whose broken body and mind lay in front of him splayed out on an altar of familial tragedy. He couldn't save Sam; in the end, he gave up his life in Sam's mind only for Sam to follow him. What kind of brother is he?

Blinking rapidly he shook his head and forced himself to look back down at Sam, his brother stared up at him confused and anxious at Dean's inability to help him. Fear lurked insipidly in Dean's soul and he found himself doubting his own resilience to come back from this.

'Dean?' Sam whimpered his eyes wide with fear and doubt, his older brother just sat there unmoving and it shook Sam to the depths of his fractured soul. Finally, after three attempts, he managed to sit himself up and that was when he saw the blood-soaked bandage covering his paralysed arm. 'What happened?' He mused aloud his gaze lifted to his brother's stoic face and then down to the bloodied knife lying at their feet. The realisation that the wound was self-inflicted and that Dean saw him do it ran through Sam like a razor blade leaving him raw and bleeding inside.

Leaning his head on Dean's shoulder, Sam stared down at his numb arm as though it was the first time ever he had seen it. His breathing hitched as he felt Dean's arm snake around his shoulders holding him tightly, neither of them moved or made a sound

Bobby and Caleb came in a while later to brief the brothers on what was happening when they found them still huddled together, emotionally and physically spent and unable to disconnect from their internal wars.

'Sam, Dean,' Bobby said as softly as he could not wanting to startle them, 'boys we have to get you two cleaned up.'

Two sets of haunted green eyes looked up at the direction of the voice and both Bobby and Caleb took an involuntary step backwards, the brothers looked completely shattered.

Clearing his throat Caleb went to get the first aid kit and nudged Bobby forward in the process, letting the older man deal with the emotional wreckage sitting on the bed.

'Boys we have to talk.' Bobby said going to sit on the bed opposite them, 'Sam you with me?'

Sam nodded slightly but instinctively moved closer to Dean seeking out his warmth and strength but found little left.

'Dean you with me?' Bobby looked directly at Dean making the older brother make eye contact, after a slight hesitation he nodded too. 'Good,' Bobby said handing Dean a pad and pen. 'Okay I know the two of you are hurting but until we get this demon and rescue that little girl we need to get on the same page.' He took a breath and then did a check to see if both of the boys were still with him. 'Dean I know that you're frustrated without talking and that's fine but you can still write.' Bobby turned back to Sam and his gaze softened slightly for a moment but then got just as hard as the one he used on Dean, 'Sam are you in there?'

'Yeah I'm here Bobby.' Sam whispered, 'for now but it's hard.'

'Sam?' Bobby his voice became a little sharper, 'talk to me.' Dean moved slightly to get a better look at his brother when Sam admitted how hard it was.

'I – I don't know how to ... my mind feels like it's split in two, I can still feel the six, six year old wanting to take control and man it would be so easy to let him. To go back to the innocence. But, but then I know ... this is me.' Sam blinked back new tears and sighed heavily, 'it hurts in my head to keep control. I get tired but, but I know if I let myself ...'

'So little Sammy can come back at anytime?' Bobby asked harshly eliciting a glare from Dean.

'Yeah I guess it's like ... dunno if he's there then I don't hurt as much in here.' Sam admitted touching his forehead.

'Can you keep it together?'

'I'll ... I'll try but I don't know ...'

'Just for now Sam that's all we ask for.'

'Okay.' Sam yawned but stayed awake long enough for Caleb to help fix his arm while Bobby gave Dean the once over before giving both boys something for their pain.

'I want the two of you to sleep, don't worry Sam I don't think anything will happen while you're actually sleeping I noticed that the transition happens when you get sleepy and blackout.' Bobby said 'oh and Dean, no talking.'

'Bobby!' Sam admonished him but with a gentle smile taking the edge of it.

Dean snarled at the other two hunters to move away and let him take care of Sam now, chuckling softly Bobby and Caleb left the brothers to their privacy and went to make sure that they wouldn't have any unexpected visitors during the night.

Tenderly Dean helped Sam into some soft sweats and a T-shirt before levering his brother's paralysed limbs into the bed and covered him with the blankets.

'Dean?' Sam whispered reaching out he grabbed Dean's arm and made his brother stay seated on the bed again. 'Stay with me please.'

Dean picked up his pad and quickly wrote, _'where else am I going bitch?' _

Sam laughed and called Dean a jerk before settling his head against the pillows, 'Dean we have to talk about before.'

_'NO.' _the note said what Dean reflected on his face without the added words in his mind.

'Dean, please I need to tell you before ...'

_'Before what?' _the note got shoved under Sam's nose.

'Before I turn into the kid again,' Sam said softly, 'I-I'm not sure what happened exactly I could feel myself falling and couldn't stop ... My chest felt as though it was on fire and I could feel it crawling in me trying to breakthrough.'

Dean made a soothing grumbling sound and started to rub small circles on the back of Sam's hand to keep the physical contact alive.

'I – I opened my eyes and we were on a hunt, there was a creature behind you, I fell and dropped my gun, when I looked up it was right behind you. I called for you to drop but you couldn't hear me. Nothing I said ... then it ... then it snapped your neck Dean I saw you die trying to protect me coz I was so freaking clumsy.' Sam turned his face away not wanting Dean to see his tears or the stark fear in his eyes, 'then I managed to shoot it but it was too late you were dead. I couldn't save you, and – and I just wanted to be with you. I didn't want to be alive knowing that I managed to get my entire family killed. All because of me. I felt for my knife and didn't feel a thing when I sliced ... I just wanted to be with you it was my fault I didn't deserve to live.'

Dean tried to get Sam to look at him but his brother kept his face averted, 'Sam!' he growled out the name without thinking the harshness and intake of breath when Dean tried to make his jaw work made Sam snap his head around to look at his brother.

'Jerk.'

_'Bitch.' _Dean already had the word written down, a smug grin on his face before he handed Sam the next note.

_'Sammy not your fault. Demon gave u the vision. NOT your fault.'_ Sam stared at the note for a few heartbeats before looking up at Dean 'the mark is gone Dean I can't even feel it inside anymore ... do you think that because I did – you know, do you think that's what cancelled it out?'

Dean frowned in deep thought and then took the notebook from Sam_, 'could be, means that it's hold on you is gone too.' _Sam read the note and smiled at Dean, 'could be Dean.' He yawned and felt his eyes close as the painkillers took hold and he started to drift into a deep sleep.

Dean sighed deeply and moved it his own bed, lying down he squirmed until he found a comfortable position to lie down and to watch Sam sleeping. Not wanting to close his eyes because each time he did he replayed Sam cutting himself repeatedly in his mind complete in the goriness of technicolour.

-----------------

The little girl stared up at her new father with large china-blue eyes, a small smile on her face 'Papa he's asleep.' She said holding her arms up to the male figure sitting on the chair in front of her.

'You have done very well my darling.' He cooed taking her onto his knee, 'you make me very proud of you.'

'He gonna have bad dreams now.' The little girl said twisting her fingers in her hair as she thought for a moment, 'he was naughty for running away wasn't he.'

'Yes he was he was a very naughty boy.'

'Why did he runaway?'

'Because he listened to the wrong person and got confused.'

'So we want him to come back to us?'

'Yes, then you and your ... brother can be together.'

'My mommy's baby is a boy ... he'll be my brother too?'

'Yes my darling, you will have both a big brother and a baby brother.'

'And you will be our daddy?'

'Yes I will be daddy for the three of you.'

'Thank you.'

'What for?'

'I gets two brothers and a daddy.' The little girl said cuddling into his chest sleepily.

'I am glad my darling.' He said gently stroking the child's back until she fell asleep, he chuckled softly, 'yes my darling I will soon have my children with me, even a certain errant one.' He sighed cradling her closer, 'my children.' As he spoke his eyes glowed a deeper yellow until they resembled flames.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

CHAPTER SIX

Sam eased himself out of the bed careful not to wake Dean balancing delicately on his good leg he braced himself against the wall and gingerly lowered his numb leg until he had his foot flat. Taking a deep breath he took a trembling step forward glanced over his shoulder at the still sleeping Dean and then took another step. He felt the drops of sweat from the effort running down his neck and back but he let it spur him on. Somewhere during the night, Sam made the decision to stop being a victim, which also meant to get up out of bed and force himself to move. He had to get the feeling back into his battered body.

Five steps later, he was standing at the top of the short staircase, the exertion had him breathing heavily and feeling like a train decided to run him over a few times but he remained stubborn and forced himself to make his way downstairs.

Slowly he lowered his numb foot gripping the railing with his good hand he quickly followed with his good leg. It took two minutes of pure stubborn effort but he made it. Swallowing he repeated the action pausing on each step until he finally reached the last step. Exhausted and slathered in a cold sweat Sam felt a small smile form, he did it, but now what to do?

'Sam Winchester what the hell do you think you are doing?' A gruff voice demanded behind him making Sam jump in fright.

'Taking control Bobby.' Sam answered without turning around, 'I have to get control of my life back.'

'And putting yourself in harm's way is getting control?' Bobby huffed putting his arm around Sam's waist he lifted the younger man's numb arm and slung it around his shoulders. 'Come on and sit down.'

'I did it Bobby.' Sam said smothering a yawn, 'I actually did it.'

'Yeah you did it, and I can't wait for Dean to wake up.' Bobby chided him softly but unable to remove the grin from his rugged face, the fact that Sam even got himself out of bed was an accomplishment let alone making it downstairs.

'Lucky he's got a broken jaw.' Sam chuckled, 'damn I'm tired.'

'Let's get you settled on the couch and I'll make some breakfast.' Bobby said knowing that there was a snowball's chance in hell of getting Sam back into bed.

'Sounds like a plan.' Sam breathed, easing his aching body onto the lumpy couch, 'thanks Bobby for everything.'

'Aw you're gonna ruin this with a chick flick moment aren't ya.'

'Nope just ... thanks.' Sam said as his eyes drifted shut, his body ached but it felt so good.

Bobby watched Sam for a few seconds longer and then headed up to the boy's bedroom determined to make sure Dean didn't panic when he woke and found Sam gone.

'Dean?' he called softly knocking on the door before entering, he was greeted with an anger-fuelled glare from the other Winchester, 'morning sunshine.' Bobby grinned unable to help himself when he saw the thunderous look on Dean's face.

'Sammy.' Dean forced the word through his clenched teeth, raspy and barely audible but enough for him to make Bobby understand.

'Downstairs and fine,' Bobby said sitting on the edge of Sam's bed facing Dean, 'seems like young Sam woke up and decided to assert himself again. He made it downstairs unaided.'

The look of surprise in Dean's eyes made Bobby chuckle a little, 'he's out cold on the couch now but he did it Dean, whatever you two ... talked about last night must have hit a nerve with him.'

Dean's look of surprise morphed into a confused frown and tried to remember the night before, Sam's nightmare or vision whatever it was, Sam cutting his arm and blanking out. Sam admitting that he had trouble staying an adult, Sam so scared that Dean didn't know what to do. 'Bobby help.' He ground out looking up at the older man with a look Bobby had never seen on Dean's face before. The young man looked lost.

Helping him out of bed Bobby hovered as Dean got his bearings and slowly shuffled his way to the bedroom door. Picking up the notepad and pen Bobby followed the other just as stubborn Winchester brother.

After an arduously slow process Dean made it down the stairs with a renewed admiration for his wayward brother, it took Dean forever to get down there with two good legs and Sam managed it alone with half his body paralysed.

Settling down in the recliner chair Dean watched Sam sleep, he looked so innocent and so young, the lines of pain and worry gone.

As though he felt someone watching him, Sam opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, 'Deanie you wake.' Sam exclaimed trying to sit upright, he got frustrated and his lower lip quivered. 'Dumb Sammy.'

'Hey Sammy it's okay.' Bobby said hearing the childlike voice as Sam woke up.

'What's wrong with Deanie?' Sammy panicked when Dean stayed silent.

'Remember Dean's mouth is hurt and he can't talk for now.' Bobby said gently silently pleading for Caleb to materialise.

'Deanie got owie?' Sam sat back and considered it carefully, and then he stared down at his bandaged arm, large tears fell down his face as he picked at the bandage, 'Sammy got owie too, don't like owies.'

'Hey Sammy would you like some lucky charms for breakfast?' Bobby asked feeling so far out of his depth it was no longer comfortable.

Sam sniffled and stared up at Bobby with tears still running down his cheeks, 'you got charms?' he asked suspiciously hiccuping slightly.

'Yeah I got charms when you came to stay here coz I remembered they're your favourites.'

'Uhhuh, what about Deanie? How can he eat with his saw mouth?'

'Well we have to give him a special drink and he has to use a straw.' Bobby winked conspiratorially at Sam, 'he doesn't like it very much.'

Yawning Sam blinked up at the older man with a trusting innocent look that broke the tough hide around Bobby's heart and he had to excuse himself disappearing back into the kitchen. He heaved a sigh of relief when he heard Caleb happily chatting to Sam and teasing Dean ruthlessly, glancing down he saw the fine tremor in his hands as he tried to finish cooking their breakfasts.

'Breakfast is done.' He finally yelled choking slightly on the roughness in his throat, 'damned emotions not worth the effort.' He mumbled under his breath as he watched the slow but dignified progress made by the Winchester boys with Caleb bringing up the rear.

'Bobby?' Sam asked looking up after his second bowl of lucky charms, a milk moustache giving him an even younger appearance.

'Yeah Sam?' Bobby asked automatically reaching for a cloth to wipe the boy's face, 'stop squirming.'

'Bobby!' Sam exclaimed indignantly pushing the rough hands away, 'I's a big boy.'

'Well big boys still need to get their faces wiped when they are wearing milk on the outside and not the inside.'

Sam giggled and scrunched his nose up at Bobby. 'You're funny Bobby.'

'Glad you think so.' Bobby grinned back, 'so whatcha wanted to know?'

'How come Deanie's not drinking his special drink?'

At Sam's question Dean's head shot up and he fixed a glare at his younger brother the chalky drink was disgusting and stuck in his throat. Bobby and Caleb looked at Sam and then at the horrified look on Dean's face and the two of them burst out laughing, confused Sam stared at them and then at Dean his eyes wide and pleading.

'Sammy.' Dean growled but reluctantly finished his shake just to prove to the others that he was no wimp. Then gagging on the thick fluid he grabbed his glass of water thrust his straw into it and gulped as much water as he possibly could.

'You okay Deanie?' Sam asked panicking as he watched his brother try to keep the drink from erupting through his locked jaws.

Dean nodded and slowed his slurping down until he got a steady stream of water going and drained the glass dry. Silently he glared at Bobby and lifted his empty glass at him.

'What? Dang it Dean how much can you drink?' Bobby grumbled getting up to refill the water glass.

'Hey old man while you're up wanna make some more coffee?' Caleb risked Bobby's wrath with a cheeky grin.

'Nuff of the old man, kiddie.' Bobby shot back but then he stopped the banter and stared at the silent Sam noticing how the young man's head now rested on his upper chest and his shoulders slumped as he toppled forward face first towards the table and the remnants of his cereal.

'Sam!' He cried out dropping the glass and reaching out for the younger man just grabbing his collar before his face collided with the table. Gently he pushed Sam upright and crouched down next to him. Dean made his way to Sam's side and ran a hand through his brother's hair. Caleb watched silently wisely deciding to stay back until they work out what was going on.

'Sam hey come on time to wake up.' Bobby tried to encourage him awake but Sam made no movement or showed any signs of opening his eyes, glancing over at Dean fearfully Bobby tried again to wake Sam. 'Caleb help me get him into the living room.' He barked, 'Dean you go in and we'll follow.'

Awkwardly Caleb and Bobby braced the much taller Sam between them and half-carried, half-dragged him into the living room and drop him unceremoniously onto the couch.

Dean fixed himself at his brother's side perched on the edge of the cushions, refusing to budge at the prompting of both men behind him. Caleb lifted Sam's long legs and draped them over the end of the furniture, even though it was a three-seater Sam was still longer than it, spreading a soft blanket over the unconscious man Caleb moved back and dropped into a chair a headache flaring behind his eyes.

'Sam?' Bobby asked unaware of the trouble Caleb was starting to get into. 'Sam you gonna wake up boy?'

A pitiful moaning pulled Dean and Bobby's attention away from Sam and turn it to Caleb as the young man slid off his chair clutching his head. 'Caleb?' Bobby cried out torn between his sudden two patients.

'Go.' Dean rasped and returned to trying to wake Sam and Bobby hurried to Caleb's side. Sweat dripped down the psychic's face as he grimaced and tried to stay conscious.

'Vision?' Bobby muttered not expecting a response but saw the slight nod of the head.

Suddenly, Sam shot up his eyes wide and his mouth opened in a silent scream, frantically he reached over to Dean clutching at him as he tried to calm his breathing.

'Dean?' Sam blinked and gazed deep into his brother's worried filled eyes, 'what happened?'

'You ... okay?' Dean managed to ground out frustrated at his injury.

'Yeah I ah ... remember deciding to walk down ... Dean how come I can taste ... lucky charms?' Confused Sam scrubbed his face with his good hand and realised that Caleb was on the floor with Bobby crouched over him. 'What's wrong?'

'Vision.' Bobby replied succinctly.

'Damn that was a bad one.' Caleb muttered clinging to Bobby's arm with a death grip as he slowly brought himself out of it. Then he turned his stare to Sam, 'you saw it too didn't you Sam?' He asked unable to take the accusatory tone from his voice.

Sam blinked shocked at the tone in Caleb's voice as he tried to recall what he saw moments ago. 'The, the little girl.' Sam whispered.

'Yeah.' Caleb said hoarsely pushing away from Bobby he staggered from the room still reeling from what he witnessed psychically.

'Sam?' Bobby asked his confusion clear across his face.

'The little girl ... the demon ... it's too late for her.' He replied his voice trembling, 'I hate this.'

'Sammy!' Dean pulled Sam's attention back to him, 'no.'

'Dean ... oh god I was him again wasn't I?' The realisation just hitting Sam, 'I was the little kid again?'

'Sam it's alright honestly.' Bobby muttered this was getting to much for the craggy hunter and he excused himself to go and check on Caleb.

'Dean we have to get out of here.' Sam whispered watching Bobby's retreating back.

'Wha?' Dean shook his head and tried to push words out again, 'what ... wrong?'

'That vision, Caleb was there too I saw him that demon finds out about his abilities through me. My connection to that little girl brings him here and he gets Caleb.'

'Kay.' Dean agreed, 'awkward.' He said swallowing hard and winced as his fractured jaw moved slightly.

Sam used his hated cane and helping Dean as much as he could the brother's made their way to the impala intending on letting Bobby know what was happening when they were already on the road. Painfully Dean slipped behind the wheel after getting Sam safely tucked in, sighing he ran his hands over the wheel lovingly and then turned a lopsided grin towards Sam. 'Kay?'

'Let's get outta here Dean.' Sam grinned back he felt the relief flooding through him, no matter what the world always seemed better when they were in the impala with Dean driving and Sam riding shotgun.

----------

'Damn stubborn stupid asses.' Bobby cursed as he watched the impala disappear in a cloud of dust already dialling Sam's cell number as he stormed back inside.

'Sam Winchester what the freaking hell do you think the two of you are doing?' Bobby snarled as Sam reluctantly answered his phone.

_'Ah hey Bobby_.'

'Don't you hey Bobby me, what the fuck do you think ... get Dean to turn that car around now, the two of you are in no condition to be out on your own.'

_'Sorry Bobby but it's safer this way_.'

'Safer how?'

'Ask Caleb about the vision Bobby.' Sam snapped wearily.

_'I am asking you Sam_.'

_'The little girl led the demon to me at your place, and he – he takes Caleb instead after he discovers Cal's abilities_.' Sam gave Bobby the shortened version, _'I – I can't do that to him Bobby.'_

'You saying that Caleb had the same vision?'

_'Yeah he was there next to me Bobby_.' Sam sighed rubbing his forehead as he balanced the phone between his shoulder and jaw.

'Come back son we can work something out.'

_'No, no Bobby I'm sorry but I am not going to put you and Caleb in danger_.' Sam said his voice catching slightly, _'too many have died already because of me.'_

'Damn it Sam what if you have ... what happens if Dean needs you and you're the kid again?'

_'That's a low blow Bobby_.' Sam said glancing over at Dean's swollen profile, _'we'll be fine and will call you when we find somewhere to hole up.'_

'Sam!'

_'Bye Bobby_.' Sam hung up on him and then turned his phone off a pang of guilt hit him hard but he pushed it away knowing that he and Dean were doing the right thing by leaving.

Bobby slammed the phone down and turned to stare at the pale face of Caleb Reaves, 'they've gone?' Caleb asked quietly.

'Yeah damn fool stubborn Winchesters.' Bobby snarled, 'I've had my fill of em.'

'It's my fault.' Caleb said as though he hadn't heard Bobby speak.

'No it's not, fuck what is it with you and Sam? No you and Sam are not responsible for whatever happens and what will happen.'

'Bobby.'

'Forget it Caleb I aint listening.' Bobby snapped and disappeared to take his frustrations out on a wreckage in his salvage yard. Caleb watched him go as he sat down on the wooden bench on the veranda. A look of abject misery as he sat staring into the nothingness.

--------------

Sam and Dean sat in the impala and stared at the motel office in dismay, neither of them thought about how they were going to get a room. Sam could barely walk and Dean couldn't talk.

'So this is awkward.' Sam said, 'okay you sit here and I'll go.'

'No.' Dean growled frustrated, taking out his notebook he scrawled, _'I'll write it down.'_

'Nope not gonna happen, shouldn't ah be too long.' Sam grinned and eased himself out of the car before Dean could object. Using his cane, he made the arduous journey up the three steps to the office door. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he slowly but surely made his way into the reception area.

Dean sat staring at his brother's back tapping the steering wheel impatiently; Sam shouldn't be moving so much not yet. Finally, he saw his brother limp back out a cheesy grin on his face.

'Wha?' Dean turned to look at Sam.

'The owner took pity on me, gave us an upgrade with no extra charge.' Sam chuckled, 'guess the cane and pathetic look works.'

'So where are we?'

'We got one of their cabins, easier access and nicer than the rooms.' Sam explained, 'just follow the driveway around to the back.'

They pulled up at the cabin where the owner was waiting for them, easing himself out of the car Sam went over to the man giving Dean time to get out and unlock their trunk.

'Hey Mister Billington.' Sam greeted the man with a smile that still did not hide the pain lines.

'Sam, I thought that you boys could do with a few supplies until morning,' the older man said, 'well actually was the wife's idea, she'll be down here with your breakfast trays. There's a panic button in these cabins and a phone line direct to our house, just hit one on the dial pad. Also got the heating on for ya and extra blankets, days might be nice but the nights can get chilly hey young man I'm Herb Billington.' The motel owner introduced himself to Dean holding his hand out. Dean shook it firmly and gave him a bit of a shrug indicating his jaw.

'Geeze you two boys did get banged up in that train accident didn't ya.' The man said sadly, 'don't you two worry bout a thing me and the wife will take good care of ya'll.'

'Thanks Sir.' Sam said appreciatively, Dean stood next to his brother and nodded silently offering his hand this time before hauling one of the duffle bags into the cabin.

'Okay then well I'll leave you boys to it, and Sam I mean it if you or your brother need anything just holler.'

'Thanks Sir we do appreciate it.' Sam said as he shook hands with the man and limped slowly into the cabin.

Sam stood in the doorway and stared around in shock, two large beds flanked one wall with a nightstand in between them. At the back a set of French doors led to a patio a lounge suite and TV in front of them, a small table with four chairs in the centre and a small fully stocked kitchenette finished the room.

Dean shoved the notebook under Sam's nose, _'Bathroom's through there Dude it's got a hot tub._'

'No way!' Sam exclaimed, 'this is too much.'

Dean shook his head, 'nah.' He grunted and showed Sam the fully stocked fridge and cupboards, including coffee grounds and machine and a couple of beers in the fridge cooling.

'We have to give them some more money.' Sam said not knowing what else to say. 'I am glad I paid in cash and not did a fake card on them.'

'Yeah.' Came the grunt and then Dean pointed Sam in the direction of the bathroom, 'go.'

'Boss.' Sam grinned but made his way slowly to the door; discarding the cane, he used various pieces of furniture instead for support.

Dean eased himself down on the soft sofa and let out a sigh of relief, picking up the remote he decided to check out the TV knowing that it takes Sam a lot longer than it used to in the bathroom.

'Dean!' Sam's cry brought Dean out of his doze, moving as quickly as possible he went to the bathroom door and opened it without knocking, he found Sam wrapped in a towel and propped up on the edge of the tub.

'Wha?'

'Look.' Sam pointed down to his paralysed leg and foot, waiting for Dean to fix his gaze Sam concentrated and wriggled his toes.

'Sam?' Dean blinked and glanced up at the big grin on Sam's face, the next part of Sam's surprise had Dean floored, gradually he lifted his paralysed arm a couple of inches and wriggled two of his fingers. The effort showed on his pale face but his smile lit up his face and eyes for the first time in a long time.

Dean gave him a thumbs up and grinned as much as he could, 'way ... to ... go.' He got out.

'I ah was in the shower and got pins and needles really bad in my leg and foot I had to get out and sit down, I – I thought maybe coz I have been walking too much and then realised that I was actually feeling the sensation.'

'Dude.' Dean stood and held his hand out to Sam, the two brothers made their way silently into the other room, Dean settled on the couch while Sam dressed both lost in their own thoughts.

'Sammy?' Dean ventured determined to get the use of his jaw back, when he was greeted with silence Dean pulled himself up and made his way towards the beds to see if Sam had fallen asleep again.

He found Sam huddled in the corner by Dean's bed, absently picking at the bandage around his arm. 'S-Sam?'

'Deanie? I's scared.'

Dean swallowed and took a deep breath, 'why?'

'Coz the bad man is in my head again.' Sam started banging his head against the wall, 'make him go away Deanie.'

'S-Sammy?'

'Tell him to go away.' Sam sobbed, 'he's tellin' me bad stuff.'

'Wha?'

'Huh?'

'What ... S-Sam?'

'Says bad things gonna happen, don't want bad things to happen to Cal or Bobby.' Sam wailed the euphoria from his movement in his paralysed arm and leg gone replaced by a terrorised little boy's crying.

'N-no Sam.' Dean ground out holding his arms out bracing himself for the launching of a six foot-five, two hundred plus six year old into his embrace. Sam's face buried against his shoulder and his hand fisted in Dean's shirt.

'Gonna hurt Cal coz of me.' Sam hiccuped, 'don't wanna go back Deanie.'

'No ... we ... stay here.' Dean painfully pushed out feeling Sam's grip tighten even more. They sat in the comfort of each other's arms as Sam finally calmed down his evening out of breathing made Dean relax slightly. This jumping from child to adult was starting to get too freaky for words.

'Gonna get him.' He pushed out cradling Sam closer. 'P-promise Sam.'

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

Author's Note: Sorry for such a long break between updates, no excuses really except that I am back at Uni and trying to get my head around my four new subjects and the new timetable. Promise I will be back on track very quickly

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN:

'Dean?' Sam blinked and slowly pulled himself out of his brother's now lax arms, and watched Dean as his brother snored softly resting against the headboard of the bed. Confused Sam ran a shaking hand over his face and moved stiffly onto his own bed trying desperately to remember what exactly had happened this time.

The realisation hit him hard, he must have regressed back to the six year old again, this was getting too freaking weird for Sam and he felt his stomach tighten clenching in painful cramps. Urgently he moved to the bathroom door, dragging his tingling foot slightly he reached out to the door to steady himself as the cramps worsened and he felt the eruption bubbling up. Swaying he took a deep breath and launched himself towards the toilet.

He remembered getting dizzy. He remembered his leg buckling. He remembered the vomit exploding from his mouth. He remembered falling ... He remembered nothing.

'Sammy?' Dean mumbled pushing his brother's name out as coherently as possible when he heard nothing Dean opened his eyes and stared down no longer feeling the weight of Sam in his arms, 'Sammy?' the panic starting to fester in his chest again. Horrified he scrambled out of the bed and checked the rest of cabin before checking the bathroom, pushing the door open he felt it hit something solid. His panic meter exploding as he pushed his way in and found his brother's lanky body sprawled on the floor unmoving. A pool of vomit near his face mingled with the crimson of fresh blood leaking from a gash on his forehead.

'Sammy?' Dean growled out dropping to his knees he ran his fingers lightly over Sam's body checking for other injuries, satisfied that the cut on his forehead was the only major one he gently rolled his brother over onto his back, propping his head up on a folded towel. 'Hey.' He managed to push out again, 'S-Sammy?'

'D-Dean?' Sam whispered as a coughing fit took over and he gasped for his breath, 'Dean what?'

Dean stared down at Sam incredulously; his frustration with his jaw building as he decided enough was enough. 'Sam you were a kid again.' Dean pushed out working his aching jaw as he spoke. Stuff the six weeks of recovery, it had been five weeks and he had had enough of being silent.

'Dean you, you shouldn't be talking.' Sam chided him gently as he fought to regain sufficient strength to pull himself up and rest against the coolness of the tiled wall.

'Stuff it Sammy.' Dean growled, his voice sounding husky from little use over the last few weeks. 'Wha, what happened?'

'Wanted to ... throw up.' Sam admitted looking sheepishly down at the pool of congealing vomit and blood. 'Must have hit my head.'

'Yeah must of.' Dean muttered, 'you okay to stand?'

'Yeah Dean your jaw, you shouldn't be talking yet.'

'Fine Sammy, it's fine.' Dean grunted as he helped his much taller brother to stand, 'ready?'

Sam nodded and carefully made his way back to his bed leaving Dean to clean up the mess in the bathroom. Slowly Sam pulled his soiled shirt over his head wincing when his arm brushed the cut on his forehead. Cautiously he laid back onto his pillows and lifted his tingling leg onto the bed first before getting comfortable with both feet up.

The tingling in his arm and leg was present all of the time now, as well as tiny muscle spasms as his paralysed limbs started to pulsate with life once again.

A headache thrummed against his eyes making the cut sting even more, overall he felt miserable and confused. Hearing Dean coming back into the room Sam opened his eyes and stared at his brother. 'Dean you okay?'

'Yeah just tired Sammy.' Came Dean's stilted response as he sat down on the edge of the bed and checked out the cut on Sam's face. 'Don't need stitches.'

'That's good.'

'You re-remember?'

'What happened?'

'Yeah.'

'Just what I told you, I woke up and thought that I was going to be sick and tried to get to the toilet I remember getting dizzy and, and then nothing.'

'Lucky you didn't choke to death.' Dean got out as he finished placing butterfly strips over the small cut and then cleaned it with a cotton wool pad soaked in peroxide. 'Stay still.'

'Easy for you to say.' Sam shot back wincing once again at the stinging fluid irrigating his wound.

'Damn it all Sammy.' Dean spluttered as he finished up and sat down on the edge of his bed, wearing a haggard look, 'I – I am so freaking tired of all of this.'

'Dean what is it?'

'Nothin' just ... gonna take some codeine and get some sleep.' Dean slurred his words, as the ache in his jaw became an agonising slow thump against his ear.

'Dean?' Sam asked again trying to sit up but a wave of dizziness kept him lying flat for a while and having to content himself with watching his brother move around the cabin.

'M'fine Sammy.' Dean mumbled holding his aching jaw as he managed to swallow the pain relief and then lie down on his own bed. 'Get some ... sleep.'

Sam woke suddenly a soft moaning sound vibrated throughout the silence of their cabin, turning his head he saw Dean writhing in his bed, flipping on the lamp between their beds Sam slipped out of his and dragged himself across the small expanse to Dean's side. Tenderly he reached out to touch Dean's face when he saw the glistening red stain running down Dean's neck and smudged across his cheek. 'Deanie?' Sam whispered tentatively touching the dampness on Dean's skin. 'Deanie wake up.' He shook Dean's shoulder gently but there was no response from him. 'Deanie wake up it's your Sammy.' Sam tried again, sobbing when he couldn't wake his brother.

'Stop scarin' me Deanie.' He cried out shaking his brother again, but all Dean managed was another moan and screw his face up in pain.

'Deanie!' Sammy cried terrified he twisted his fingers in the sweat soaked sheets and tried to think of what Dean would want him to do. 'Suck it up Sammy, you's a big boy now.' He said aloud, sniffling loudly he went to the phone and picked up the receiver he remembered that nice man explaining about the phone he just had to remember. Trembling he sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand as he sank down against the wall and pressed one on the dial pad.

'_Hello, this is Herb_.' A sleepy man's voice came through the receiver; Sam listened and then took a deep breath.

'My, my brother won't wake up.' He whispered into the phone his eyes focused on Dean's bed.

'_Who is this?_'

'S-Sammy my – my big brother Dean won't wake up.'

'_Sam is that you_?' Herb asked confused he recognised the younger man's voice through the childish tone.

'Yeah ... can you help my brother?'

'_Hang on Sam I will be right down_.' Herb said hanging up the phone; he turned his head to look down at his still sleeping wife before slipping out and quickly dressing. He moved stealthily through their home, happy that he was still able to move like the trained hunter he used to be.

'Sammy it's me Herb.' He called knocking on the cabin door, it opened a crack and he looked up into the pale face of the younger man, something about him was different though. He no longer looked like the confident but injured young man, now he looked and sounded like a frightened child.

'Deanie won't wake up, I tried but...' tears started to roll down Sam's face as he led Herb towards Dean, 'an, and he's got blood all on him.'

'Dean?' Herb called out his shock registering when he saw the blood trickling from Dean's ear and the sweat-slick skin of the younger man. 'Dean can you hear me?'

'All my fault.' Sam sobbed sliding down the wall he pulled his knees up to his chest and started to rock himself again, 'my fault, stupid Sammy.'

'Sam?' Herb looked over at Sam in confusion taking in the new bruise and new cut on his face and the clear signs of shock starting to sink in. 'What do you mean by that?'

'I-I fell over, stupid dumb Sammy, I fell an-an hurt myself, Dean came in and he talked hurting his owie.'

'And?'

'I 'member going to ... wanted to be sick ... and then I felled over.' Sam sobbed even harder, 'my fault Deanie sick.'

'No Sam.' Dean groaned, 'not Sammy's fault.' Sam's head 'snapped' up and he scrambled as fast as his injured limbs could take him back to Dean's bedside.

'Sorry Deanie, Sammy sorry.'

'Hey little dude I want ... I want you to go and lie down on your bed for me okay.' Dean slowly ground out, 'I want you to get some rest for me ... can you do that?'

'Uhhuh ... but ... but what about you Deanie?'

'Mister ... Bill...Herb will help me.' Dean managed to get out, 'you okay to go to bed?'

'I's a big boy Deanie.' Sam mumbled between yawns, 'sleepy.'

'Go and lie down for me.' Dean raised a shaking hand, ran it through Sam's hair, and then let it drop to the bed. Sam stood up awkwardly and yawned again, blinking sleepily he rubbed at one eye with his knuckle and dragging his leg managed to get back to his own bed; after a couple of goes with a few stubborn 'no I's can,' with Herb he managed to get himself under the blankets and rolled onto his side to watch his brother until he fell asleep.

'Mister Bill...'

'Herb will do Dean.' the elderly man smiled and perched himself on a chair next to Dean's bed. 'Can you? What happened Dean?'

Dean's eyes cast a glance over Sam's sleeping form and then back to the face of the motel owner, 'S-Sam received a head injury in – in the crash.' Wincing he stopped talking and waited for a few heartbeats before continuing. 'At first he ... he regressed to six-year-old Sam when ... when he came too.'

Herb sat quietly and let Dean tell him what had happened to them in his own time, the boy obviously still struggling with his broken jaw and speaking once again.

'Th...thought it ... be permanent but – but Sam's too stubborn.' Dean gave a funny lopsided grin, 'Now it's just when – when he's overtired and stressed.'

'So when he woke and found you and couldn't wake you?'

'He re-returned to six-year-old Sammy.'

'Okay now we have that settled what happened to you Dean?'

'Not sure, got a headache and ... and.'

'Sam said he couldn't wake you.' Herb said gently not wanting to stress out the young man anymore. 'Perhaps I should take you to a doctor?'

'No, no I can't leave ... I can't leave Sammy alone.' Dean cried out ignoring the sudden flaring pain up the side of his face.

'Okay, okay calm down son,' Herb pacified Dean, 'okay how about this? The local doctor is a very good friend of mine ... what if I got to come and see you in the morning?'

'Okay.' Dean mumbled suddenly very tired again.

'Good now that is settled how about I help you clean up a bit and get comfortable before Sam wakes up?'

'Thanks Herb.' Dean said relieved that someone else could carry the burden for a few minutes. 'Gonna shower.'

While Dean was under the shower, Herb placed clean sheets on his bed and fresh slips over his pillows rolling the sweat and blood stained ones up in a ball to take with him. Once he finished he made his way over to Sam's bed and looked down at the young man as he slept soundly, a smile played on the corners of his mouth as he watched Sam's thumb slide out of his mouth. 'You poor boys.' He whispered pulling the sheets up over Sam's shoulder and tucking them in. He tenderly brushed the long strands of hair from Sam's face, 'sleep well Sam.'

The bathroom door swung open and from a cloud of steam Dean appeared looking a little better but still very pale, his face carrying a pinched look around his eyes. The swelling on his jaw still looked sore and stood out from the paleness. 'Okay young man you get back into bed and I'll get some pain killers for you.'

Too tired to argue Dean slid into the clean vanilla scented sheets and gingerly laid his head back onto his pillows.

'Now I gave you an extra one and piled em so you can keep your head elevated a little.' Herb explained as he handed Dean a glass of water and two tablets, 'it should help with the pressure against your ear.'

'Thanks.' Dean whispered sipping the cool water through a straw, 'feels better.'

'Okay so if you need me just press the button otherwise I'll be back with the doctor in a while.'

'Thanks Herb I ... appreciate...'

'No thanks needed, sleep well Dean.' Herb said glancing down at Sam once again; he smiled softly before leaving the Winchester brothers alone once again.

_'Deanie you awake?' Sammy asked prying one of Dean's eyelids open._

_'Am now Sammy.' Dean mumbled swatting the invading hand away._

_'You gonna wake up Deanie?' Sammy pouted._

_'Sammy ... go watch TV.' Dean grumbled, 'I'm tired.'_

_'Don't wanna.' _

_'Sammy please.'_

_'You're no fun Deanie ... when's daddy coming home?'_

_'Soon now go I'll be out in a minute.'_

_'Deanie I's hungry.'_

_'Go and get some lucky charms or something Sammy let me sleep.'_

_'My birth-birthday soon, I's be umm seven.' Sam smiled. _

_'Yeah well if you wanna see your birthday then let me sleep.'_

_'No fun Deanie, gonna tell daddy on you.' A loud thump made both boys jump and Sam instinctively move behind his brother. 'Scared Deanie.'_

_'It's okay Sammy, I'll protect you.' Dean said reassuringly, 'it's probably Dad.'_

_'Sorry to disappoint but I aint your daddy.' A menacing voice broke into the conversation, a dark shadowy form with horns and burning red eyes stood in the doorway. 'Time to go Sammy, you have to come with me.'_

'No Sammy!' Dean sat up suddenly his eyes wide open and slightly unfocused, breathing heavily he turned to watch his brother sleeping soundly in the bed next to him. His six-foot-five-inch frame curled into a ball, his damaged arm and leg on top, Dean couldn't work out how Sam managed to get himself into that position as he raked his gaze over him. Then he saw Sam's thumb firmly fixed in his mouth, sleeping just like he did when he was a small child and scared of whatever tormented his sleep. 'Sammy?' Dean whispered worry creasing his brow, Sam slept like a six-year-old.

Sam's eyes fluttered open and he stared sleepily at Dean a wide smile on his face, 'Deanie!' he exclaimed, 'you better?'

'Better than I was kiddo.'

'You mad at me?'

'No why would I be?'

'Coz I rang Mister Herb.' Came the soft reply.

'No Sammy I am proud of you.'

'Why?'

'Because you saw me sick and you got us some help, that's a very big boy thing to do.'

'Thanks Deanie.' Sam said sighing heavily, his smile fading quickly. 'Deanie what's wrong with me?'

'Why? What's wrong Sam?'

'I-I know that I am a big person ... like you but, but I'm just a kid.'

'Sammy, you got hurt in the head.' Dean explained as clearly as he could the pain flared with each word but he swallowed deeply and kept speaking. 'So sometimes you are ... you're a little kid but when you get better you'll be a big person again.'

'Deanie I – I don't like it, I wanna be norm-normal.'

'I know kiddo but for now you have to be good and be my little dude okay?'

'Kay.'

'Deanie?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Where's Daddy?' Sam turned innocent eyes to Dean's face, 'did he get hurt in the – the accident too?'

'Sammy...'

'I member the accident, you and daddy had big owies, you wouldn't wake up.'

'Sammy ... it's gonna be okay.' Dean slid out of his bed and went to sit next to Sam pulling his confused brother into a hug, 'I promise Sammy it's gonna be okay.'

'Deanie ... you – you're talking!' Sammy declared astonishment ringing in his voice.

'I know.'

'But, but Bobby said you weren't allowed to.'

'Bobby aint here Sammy... hey Sammy Herb is going to bring a doctor here this morning.'

'Don't like them doctors.' Sam pouted.

'I know so could you just sit quietly and watch some cartoons and stuff?'

'Okkies Deanie can I do some drawing?'

'Sure.'

'Coz there's no books to read, I might do some drawing.'

'Okay Sam you can do that, and you'll be good when the doctor checks out your arm and leg?'

'Do I hafta?'

'Fraid so Sammy,' Dean chuckled, 'but if you're extra good we might be able to get you a treat or something.'

'Deanie I not five anymore.'

'I know.'

'I can be good.' Sam declared, 'ooohh Deanie.'

'What's wrong Sam?'

'Gotta go now.' Sam said squirming against his brother.

Dean chuckled deep in his throat and helped his extra tall baby brother stand up, 'you need some help Sammy?'

'Just to walk Deanie.' Sam smiled shyly his hair falling across his face.

'Okay so how about after you finish we get you in the shower while we're already in the bathroom?'

'Okkies.' Sam nodded leaning slightly heavier than he needed and nearly sending them both tumbling down. 'Oh sorry Deanie.' Sam cried tears shining in his eyes as he tried to right himself. 'Dumb Sammy.'

'Hey, hey Sam you're not dumb kiddo just awkward coz of your hurt arm and leg.' Dean soothed Sam, 'ready to try again?'

'Okay.' Sam said sniffling, 'dumb, dumb, and dumb Sammy.' He kept repeating ignoring whatever Dean said to try and console him. 'Just dumb an' clumsy.'

'No Sammy don't you want to think that you hear me.'

'Daddy says that, an' that's why he won't let me go hunting with you.' Sam pouted, Dean stopped moving and turned his head to face his brother, 'Sammy when did Dad say that?'

Silently Sam pushed Dean away and went into the bathroom intent on going to the toilet himself when he had flushed he heard Dean come into the bathroom and start the shower running.

'Sammy tell me when did Dad say that?'

'When's you got hurt an' we had to stay with Pastor Jim.' Sam said sitting on the toilet to slide his sweats off his legs without falling, 'I got scared an' went down to find daddy ... he – he an' Pastor Jim was talking.'

'What did they say Sam?' Dean asked helping his brother into the shower cubicle.

'Pastor Jim asked how comes I wasn't allowed to go with you guys, he said that if I was there you ummm you migh-mightn't get hurt like you did.'

'And?'

'Daddy said that I was too slow in learning, that I wasn't like you. He said I was too clumsy an', an' that if he let me go then you'd be dead.'

'Oh Sammy.'

'Daddy said, said that I was a – a lia-bil...'

'Liability Sammy, the word is a liability.' Dean ground out his anger at his father drowning the pain in his jaw and face.

'Yeah what you said.'

'Pastor Jim tried to ... daddy said that I'm a baby.' Sam said crying openly under the shower letting the water wash away his tears.

'Sammy Dad was just ... he was tired and sore and he didn't really understand what he was saying.'

'Nuhhuh he meant it, I know coz it's true I'm just a clumsy, dumb baby.'

'Sammy I don't want you to talk like that anymore okay!'

'Okkies Deanie I'm sorry don't be mad at me puhleaze?'

'I could never be mad at you kiddo, come on you clean yet? Got all the cooties washed away.'

'Eww Deanie!' Sam giggled making Dean's heart skip a beat, in his mind's eye he pictured a six-year-old Sam standing in the shower giggling to something his younger self would have said to calm Sam down.

'Deanie you okkies?'

'Yeah Sammy, hey can you dry yourself while I get some clean clothes for ya?'

'Uhhuh.' Sam nodded and took the proffered towel, 'I'm not a little kid anymore Deanie.'

'Yeah I know that.' Dean sighed staring up at the childlike expression fixed on Sam's face.

Dean could hear Sam muttering away to himself in the bathroom as he dried and dressed himself while Dean fixed their breakfasts, well breakfast for Sam and a warm coffee for himself.

They sat in a companionable silence while Sam ate his cereal and drank two large glasses of milk before downing two slices of toast minus the crusts while Dean had another coffee. Then they went to settle down in front of the television, Sam sprawled out on the floor with paper and pencils in front of him and Dean resting on the couch both laughing as they watched the bugs bunny cartoon show.

A soft knock on the door had Sam snapping his head up and staring at Dean in fright, 'it's okay Sammy it'll just be Herb and the doctor.'

'Oh owkay.' Sammy said returning his attention to his drawing; Dean gave him a last glance before answer the door cautiously. Letting the two men in after he confirmed that Herb was one of them.

'Dean this is Jim Clover he's the doctor I was telling you about.' Herb introduced Dean to the man standing next to him. Dean stared unabashedly at the stranger taking him in before he nodded his head and held his hand out, 'Jim this is Dean and over there is his brother Sammy.'

'Pleased to meet you Dean.' Jim smiled and took Dean's hand in his, making the younger man feel a little more comfortable as they shook and then Dean took a seat at the table where he could watch both the new arrivals and Sam at the sametime.

'So Dean ... Herb told me that you had a bit of a bad night last night.'

'Yeah I guess, ah my ear was bleeding and I was sweating lots and I guess hard to wake up.'

'Okay so how long ago was your accident?'

'Huh? Oh umm five weeks ago.'

'Uhhuh and have you had these symptoms before?'

'Only at first then nope just couldn't talk and eat properly.'

'Have you tried eating anything solid yet?'

'Nope just drinking that crap shake.'

'Yeah pretty tasteless isn't it.'

Dean favoured the doctor a look of disgust and then turned his attention to Sam, 'Sammy no eating the pencils.' He growled watching Sam gnawing away on the pencil in his hand.

'Owkay Deanie.' Came the distracted reply.

'Sammy you okay?' Dean asked pushing past the doctor he went to his brother and squatted down next to him, 'hey little dude whatsa matter?'

'Sleepy Deanie.' Sam said yawning, 'don't feel so good.'

'Can you get up for me Sammy?' Dean said pressing his hand against Sam's warm forehead, 'aw Sammy you got yourself a fever.'

'Head hurts Deanie.' He whispered resting his head on his brother's shoulder Sam let Dean lead him back to the bed, gently Dean eased him down and lifted his numb leg up on the bed when Sam yelped in pain. 'Ow Dean hurts.'

'Sam your-your leg it hurts?' Dean asked in shock.

'Uhhuh.' Sam mumbled.

'Hey doc can...can you look at Sam for me?' Dean turned to the doctor jumping slightly; surprised to see him standing directly behind him.

'Okay but first I want you on your own bed, and resting that jaw okay?'

Dean went to answer him but then just nodded his head and moved to sit on the edge of his bed. 'Deanie!' Sam's cry came out immediately when he could no longer see his brother, 'Deanie where's Deanie?'

'I'm right here Sammy.' Dean said moving back to sit on the other side of Sam's bed taking his little brother's large hand in his, 'I'm right here little dude.'

'Scared Deanie.'

'Whatcha scared of Sammy?'

'Bad man is back.' Sam whispered, 'bad man in my head.'

'It's okay Sammy he can't hurt you.' Dean said 'now let the doctor look at you okay?'

'You stay Deanie?'

'I'm just gonna lie down on my bed for a while.'

'You sick Deanie?'

'No Sammy just tired.'

'Owkay.' Sam said with a slight pout, 'you have a nap I'll watch your back.'

'Thanks Sammy.'

'Now Sam my name is Jim and I'm a doctor.' The other man spoke softly giving Sam a big smile, 'I understand that you're not feeling very well and that you have trouble with your arm and leg?'

'Yeah, theys don' wanna work.' Sam said eyeing the doctor suspiciously, 'you look at Deanie first?'

'Yes I did and he told me to look after you now.'

'Okkies,' Sam sighed and visibly relaxed, 'don't like it when Deanie's sick.'

'No I don't think you would and I guess that would be the same for Dean with you wouldn't it.'

'Yeppers, my big brother is the bestest brother in the world.'

'I bet he is ... now Sammy can you feel my touch on your foot?'

'Hehehe that tickles.' Sam giggled, 'feels like a funny tickle.'

'Very good and now how about here?' Jim asked lightly touching Sam's ankle, Sam nodded and again when he touched places on his calf but shook his head when he touched the back of his knee and his thigh. 'You have done very well Sammy.'

'But, but I didn't feel em all.'

'No but when I touched those places I could still feel some twinges you are definitely regaining use of your leg again and you know what that means?'

'What?' Sam asked with wide eyes filled with curiosity.

'Means lots of exercise.'

'Oh no that means Evil Deanie.' Sam giggled and then sighed, 'Evil Deanie makes me do lots of exercisin.'

'Does he now?'

'Uhhuh and he gets this scary voice.' Sam continued conspiratorially, 'and he does lots of yelling.'

'Well until his jaw heals properly he's not allowed to yell.' The doctor winked at Sam as he went through the same basic tests with Sam's arm. 'Okay from now on Sammy I need you to do something for me.'

'What?'

'I want you to squeeze this ball for me as hard as you can.' The doctor produced a soft 'stress' ball from his bag and handed it to Sam, 'every day I want you to count to ten squeezes stop and then count to ten squeezes again can you do that for me?'

'Yeppers.'

'Okay now let's take your temperature and see what else is going on.' Jim said with a smile as he watched Sam tackling the ball until his eyes started to droop and he instinctively started to roll onto his side facing Dean.

Taking advantage of his patient's new position the doctor placed the thermometer into Sam's ear and waited for it to beep, reading the numbers he frowned slightly and then listened to Sam's breathing before checking his heartbeat and pulse.

Packing up he turned to Sam and found him sound asleep with his thumb firmly placed in his mouth, tenderly he pulled the covers over his patient and brushed a hand over his face. 'Sleep well Sam.'

Herb watched everything happen in silent awe, the connection between the two brothers gave him chills, and broke his heart slightly, they were too young to have to look after each other like they do, but then he watched his friend at work amazed at his gentleness and adaptability with Sam's unusual condition.

'Hey Herb you okay?' Jim whispered touching his friend's shoulder.

'Huh? Oh sorry miles away.' Herb said with a small smile, 'so what's the verdict?'

Seeing that Dean was awake and listening intently, Jim moved over to sit on a chair next to the bed and beckoned Herb to follow. 'Okay Dean you have a low grade ear infection which is fairly common given the fracture to your jaw, and even despite your talking a week sooner than you should be is healing nicely and the swelling will disappear over the next week or so. I am going to give you some antibiotics for your ear and some anti-inflammatory pills to help with muscle stiffness, they are the lowest dosage I can give you but I want you to finish them. Now Sam ... he is definitely regaining use of his leg and arm, he is going to need extensive physiotherapy to regain full strength, and I have given him a squeeze ball and will leave a list of exercises to start him off with. I'm afraid that I cannot give you anything about his head injury he really needs to see a neurologist, however he does have a fever and I am a little concerned with the small lump on the back of his head.'

'What lump?' Dean asked in shock.

'There is a small lump just at the base of his skull, similar to a lump left after a large injection or tube placement.'

'Where?'

Confused the doctor looked at Dean, then up at Herb his gaze finally resting on Sam's face, 'after the accident did your brother have a shunt or anything placed at the base of his skull?'

'No, no nothing like that.'

'Hmm I would like to draw some blood and get it tested.'

'Yeah sure doctor whatever you think is best.' Dean nodded, 'do you think someone purposely drugged Sam?'

'I honestly cannot tell you Dean but it does concern me, with his talk of bad men in his head, his fever and his reversion to a childlike state it is worrying.' Jim said standing up he moved to Sam's bed and making sure that Dean could see what he was doing, took a blood sample from Sam's arm without waking him.

'Okay I'll rush this through and get back to you as soon as I have the results.' Jim said picking his bag up, 'get some rest Dean doctor's orders.' He added with a smile. 'Oh and yeah if you need me for anything just let Herb know and I'll be around.'

'Hey thanks doc, I – I ah don't have a lot of money ...'

'Bill's already paid Dean don't worry bout it.' Herb said smiling brightly, 'now me or the wife will be down later to check on the two of you.'

'Thanks Herb.' Dean said sleepily his eyes slowly closing he finally drifted to sleep only to be woken a couple of hours later by Sam screaming and sobbing in his bed, his sheets twisted around his long legs trapping him, his eyes open but they were glassy and unfocused.

'Sam?' Dean called out as he got out of bed and went to sit on Sam's and try to calm his brother down, 'Sam hey it's just a nightmare!'

'Deanie?' Sam cried out blinking he focused on Dean's face and launched himself at his brother his fingers twisting into his T-shirt. Lying down with Sam still clutched in his arms Dean listened to Sam's erratic heartbeat and tried to calm him, rubbing his back gently spoke in low soft tones of nonsensical things. Eventually Sam calmed down and he fell back asleep cradled safely in Dean's arms.

Herb let himself into the cabin and quietly placed the tray of food on the kitchen bench turning around he stared down at the two brothers curled around each other in Sam's bed and his heart fragmented even more, with innate tenderness he covered them with their blankets, drew the curtains to block the sunlight and left them to sleep peacefully. Before leaving the cabin, he checked the windows and the French doors making sure that the salt lines were unbroken; he hung a small charm next to the front door and then reinforced the salt line inside and out. Satisfied he locked the door and went back to work. Deciding to talk to the boys when they were both well enough, to let them know that he was aware that they were John Winchester's boys, and for that reason alone he would protect them no matter what.


	8. Chapter 8

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

CHAPTER EIGHT:

Jim glanced over at Herb and then stared back out the window, the silence hung over them for another few minutes before he cleared his throat and turned back to his old friend. 'Who in their right mind would do something like that to a young man Herb?'

'I honestly don't know Jim, it breaks my heart to see John's boys so hurt and now this.' Herb indicated the slip of paper he had dropped on the table next to him. 'What do we tell them?'

'The truth, Dean at least.'

'Damn it Jim these boys have been through too much as it is.' Herb exploded angrily, 'Sammy hasn't snapped out of it this time.'

'What do you mean?'

'Dean said that normally Sam would wake up and be himself again, it's been three days since you saw them and he is still the young Sammy.'

'That's not good Herb did Dean say if he is showing any other signs?'

'Like what exactly?'

'Self-harming, depression, over-emotionality or withdrawing further?'

'Hmm not that I am aware of but something tells me that Dean is too protective of his brother to let anyone get close enough to find out.'

'Too true, well I guess that there is no use putting it off any longer.'

'Yeah, let me grab their lunches and we'll head down.' Herb sighed as he hurried to the kitchen and gathered up the already prepared lunch for the brothers.

'Amazing isn't it, how things work, that they randomly show up here of all places when they are in such desperate need for help.'

'I know someone was looking out for them.' Herb grinned, 'hey boys it's me Herb and Jim.' He called knocking on the door.

'Hey Herb.' Sammy opened the door and gave the two older men a big dimpled smile, 'Deanie an' I's out the back.'

'Hey Sammy how you feeling?'

'Okkies ... wanna see what I did?'

'What did you do?'

'I draws this.' Sam produced a picture clearly the scrawl of a child, showing a young boy and another bigger one standing next to him. the bigger one had a big red circle coloured in around one side of the face and the smaller one had streaks of colour coming from his head and cuts bleeding all over him.

'Who's this?' Herb asked intrigued at Sam's obvious self-portrayal.

'Silly Herb that's Deanie an' that's me.' Sam said his smile fading, 'see that's Deanie's jaw an' that's my dumb head.'

'Sammy your head's not dumb.' Herb chided him gently.

'Uhhuh, yeah it is coz it don't wanna work properly.'

'Ah but I see your arm and leg are working lots better so that means that your head will get better too.'

'Hum dunno.' Sam considered the words carefully. 'Wanna see Deanie?'

'Sure kiddo where is he?'

'Asleep outside,' Sam said seriously, as he placed a finger to his lips, 'gotta be quiet.'

'Lead on Sammy.'

Sam limped ahead of the two men as he led them towards the patio where Dean snoozed lightly in the late morning sun. Just as he got to the door, Sam gasped and winced, grabbing his head with his good hand Sam collapsed to the floor, curling into the foetal position keening in pain.

Dean snapped awake and immediately searched the area for Sam, 'Sammy?' he cried out when he saw his brother lying on the floor, tears running down his cheeks and his face screwed up with intense pain. His long fingers twisted in his hair as he repeatedly drummed his head against the floor. 'Dumb, stupid Sammy.' He kept repeating in a litany in time with the waves of pain.

'Herb? Doc?' Dean looked at the two men as he dropped to his knees next to Sam and tried to take his baby brother into his arms.

Sam screamed and bucked against his touch, 'No, no, don't touch, Sammy dirty, Sammy bad.' He cried out pushing himself away from Dean he backed up against the wall and started pounding his head again.

'Sam, Sammy hey kiddo.' Dean tried to sooth his brother's hysteria but the pain and fear brought Sam into a full-on panic attack. 'Sam ... it's me.'

'Deanie?' Sam sobbed brokenly, he sniffed and blinked up at Dean, 'no, no don't touch me.'

'Why Sammy?'

'Sammy dirty, Sammy bad.' Sam cried again, 'bad man coming back to hurt you coz of me.'

'Sam look at me.' Dean said a little more forcefully than he wanted, 'look at me, you are not ... Sam look at me.'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and stared at his brother confused, 'Dean something's wrong.' He whispered as he started convulsing, blood speckled foam leaked from the corners of his mouth, as his eyes rolled upwards leaving only the whites visible as his long body shook with the violence of the tremors.

'Doc?' Dean cried out horrified as he watched something or someone attack Sam from the inside. 'Doc do something.'

'Herb can you help Dean up?' Jim asked sounding calmer than he felt, carefully he placed Sam flat on his back and made sure that he was comfortable and not able to hurt himself as another convulsion wracked his body. 'Dean does Sam have a history of epilepsy?'

'No, no nothing like that.' Dean watched his brother and felt a wave of guilt and panic surge through him, he should be the one helping his brother not a stranger, well an almost stranger. 'What's going on Doc?'

'Sam's seizing, has he ... Dean I need you to be totally honest with me can you tell me exactly what happened to you and Sam?'

'Doc listen I don't think ...'

'Dean I think that there's something you should know that might make you feel better.' Herb interjected.

'And that is?'

'I know that you are John Winchester's sons Dean and Sam. Hell Dean I used to play army with you when you were just a little fella and Sam was just a baby.'

'Why didn't?'

'I say something sooner?' Herb finished the question for Dean, 'I wanted to but you two have been so sick since you got here that I ...'

'Thanks Herb.' Dean said softly.

'Dean I used to be a hunter with your daddy,' Herb continued, 'I retired a while back after a bullet lodged itself too close to my spine. Too dangerous to continue, so now we have these cabins set up for hunters passing through the area, most of the older ones know of us and they ring ahead other than that usually word of mouth brings em here.'

'Wow.'

'When you and Sam ... at first I wasn't too sure but damn boy you are too much like your daddy not to be his.'

'Thanks,' Dean tried for a lopsided grin but it looked more like a grimace as he watched the doctor checking Sam out who now lay quietly under the man's ministrations.

Finally, he passively let the doctor help him up and over to his own bed, silently he rolled over onto his side and fell into a deep dreamless sleep oblivious to the three sets of eyes watching him intently.

'So Doc what's the verdict?' Herb asked laying a fatherly hand on Dean's shoulder.

Jim sat down and stared at his patient for a few more heartbeats and then he turned his attention to Dean.

'Dean let's have a look at you.' He said clearing his throat he picked up his bag and rummaged through it until he found what he needed. Laying them out he examined Dean carefully, checking his ear thoroughly before gently probing the swollen jaw.

'Well looks like the antibiotics are working,' he said breaking his self-imposed silence, 'the swelling on your jaw is receding quite nicely, I want you to keep taking the anti-inflammatory tablets and I want you to start working your jaw a little. Some easy exercises at first to loosen the joint and then build up the strengthening ones.'

'Doc what about Sam?' Dean asked pushing the man's hand away.

'I ah got his test results back today.' Jim said his gaze flickering back to Sam's sleeping form.

'And?'

'It is what we expected Sam had been drugged.' Jim admitted grudgingly.

'Not telling me much Doc.' Dean growled.

'Dean in order for me to ... I need you to tell me what happened to Sam, what really happened.' Jim asked again, this time refusing to let Dean dodge the subject.

'Originally Sam disappeared, for two months I searched everywhere.' Dean paused and massaged his aching jaw, 'I found out ... he was in a – a hos-pital in Lawrence.'

'That's where you come from isn't it?' Herb asked intrigued.

'Y-yes we were in a different state altogether ... ah when I found him he had no m-memory.' Dean swallowed this was getting harder than he thought. 'He had been in a c-coma for a month and then another month there before ... a – a strife demon took him, he ah he took Sam's memory but, but continued his attack ... for some reason they didn't want him to remember.'

'Dean do you want some mild pain relief?' Jim asked when he saw the difficulty Dean was having; silently Dean nodded and gratefully took the medication and drank a glass of water thirstily. 'Do you want to rest for a while?'

'N-no just some more water p-please?' Dean asked staring distractedly at Sam sleeping, 'h-he suffered so much at the hands of that demon and others ... a-a dream sprite attacked him in his dreams, the yellow-eyed-demon was involved. S-seems that the strife demon decided to play where he wasn't supposed to. He ah stripped Sammy of every ... he took Sam's essence and wrenched his fragmented memories from him again. I went after him got pretty beaten up a few times and found, found out what that bastard did to Sammy when he took him. Old yellow eyes helped me get Sam's memory orb back. Sam regressed to a toddler that time, he had no ... he was empty and when he woke he thought he was four years old, scared and alone with no way of knowing who he was, who and where his family were ... I had left him with Bobby ...'

'Bobby Singer?' Herb asked 'that old rogue still got his salvage yard?'

'Huh? Yeah, yeah he has ... he's been like a father to us since Dad.' Dean stopped and took another long drink instead lost in his memories.

'Deanie?' Sam whispered sleepily, 'where's Deanie?'

'Right here Sammy.'

'Why you sad?'

'Just ... being silly.'

'You talkin' bout when I got sick?'

'Yeah we are, I was just telling Herb and Doc Jim about it all.'

'Deanie saved me.' Sam announced proudly, 'why am I in bed?'

'Coz you were sick again Sammy.' Dean whispered, 'do you feel better now?'

'Uhhuh, can ... gotta go pee Deanie.' Sam whispered blushing profusely.

'Okay, ah Herb, Jim do you wanna make some coffee while I help Sammy?' Dean's jaw ached and made it harder for him to speak but he pushed through it not wanting Sam to see just how bad he felt. 'Need me to come in with you?'

'Deanie.' Sam whined and shook his head, 'want to have a shower please.'

'Okay call me when you're done I'll be right here.'

Sam shuffled into the bathroom and used the toilet as he flushed he felt a sharp pain flare in his head and he gasped audibly, turning he gripped the basin as the pain intensified, he wanted to call out to his brother but nothing came out.

'Sammy you okay in there?' Dean called impatiently, 'Sammy? Answer me or I'm coming in.'

'Dean.' Sam sobbed but not loud enough for Dean to here, his head felt like it was going to explode, he tried to focus on the reflection in the mirror, he knew it was his own face he saw but it looked like a stranger.

_'Ah Sammy been a long time hasn't it.'_ A voice came from the reflection, _'still having troubles remembering are you?'_

_'Go away.'_

_'Why would I want to do that? I have had such fun.'_

_'No, no, no you're not here.'_

_'Aw Sammy you're no fun, I think I prefer you as a six year old with issues.'_

_'Fuck off.'_

_'Now, now that's no language for a little boy to use.'_

_'I'm not a little boy.'_

_'Oh I know, I want you to come to me Sammy, I've missed you.'_

_'You really think that I am just going to walk out? Just like that?'_

_'No but you will anyway.'_

_'Why would I?'_

_'Coz Sammy dearest, I am willing to give you back all of your memories.'_

_'What the fuck are you on about?'_

_'You still have trouble remembering everything don't you? Oh I know that you hide it well but there are big holes in your memory, that's why it's easy for you to be six years old, you remember that.'_

_'Leave me alone.'_

_'Come to me my son.'_

_'I am not your son.'_

_'I created you.'_

_'Yeah right.'_

_'Would you like it if I took Dean instead?'_

_'Leave him alone.'_

_'He is rather delicious ... did Dean tell you that we got rather intimately acquainted?'_

_'What are you on about now?'_

_'Oh he didn't tell you did he? Oh utterly macho of him, remember what we did Sammy? Remember when you warmed my bed?'_

_'I remember you tying me to your bed and I ... no please not Dean.'_

_'Ah yes he was sweet and strong but still not you my darling.'_

_'I am not your darling.'_

_'Come to me Sam tonight or I will come and take Dean forcefully.'_

_'How did you get back? Dean ...'_

_'Tried and he almost succeeded, let us just say that I have friends in high places.'_

_'Why?'_

_'Why what?'_

_'Why did you ... why did you start all of this to begin with? What is so special about me?'_

_'Oh Sammy, it is wonderful to see that you haven't lost any of your modesty and your innocence.'_

_'Stop mocking me.'_

_'I want you out on the patio tonight Sam no excuses or I will take Dean and leave you alone and six years old for the rest of your life.'_

'Sam oh god please open your eyes.' Dean begged cradling Sam against his chest he found Sam lying prone on the floor, tiny tremors coursing through his long body, his eyes open but glassy and unfocused. Every so often his face twisted as though he was in pain but he remained completely catatonic.

'Dean?' Herb called as both he and Jim finally came back with fresh coffee and donuts. 'Dean, Sam where are you guys?'

'Bathroom hurry.' Dean called out, 'it's okay Sammy help's finally arrived.'

'Dean what is it?' Jim ran into the bathroom and dropped to his knees next to the brothers.

'I – I found Sammy lying on the floor like this.' Dean managed to get out, 'fucking mouth.'

'It's okay Dean Herb and I will get Sam back to his bed.' Jim said trying to pry Dean's arms from around Sam.

'No, no can't take anymore, not again, can't do this again.' Dean kept repeating more to himself than to Jim. 'Damn it Sammy, we can't do this again.'

'Dean?' Jim touched the younger man's shoulder and noticed the flinch before Dean looked up at him with his neutral mask firmly in place.

'Jim?' Dean frowned, 'oh yeah.'

'Come on son let's get the two of you out of here and back in the bedroom.'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and clutched at his brother, 'Dean?'

'Right here Sammy.'

'So tired.' Sam sighed, 'hi ah Doctor Jim?'

'Hi Sam.' Jim said softly noticing the subtle difference between the adult Sam and the child Sammy in his facial expressions and tone of voice. 'Can you get up?'

'Huh? Oh yeah what happened?'

'You collapsed.' Dean said succinctly.

'Oh.' Sam blinked again and looked up at Dean again, seeing the anger and resignation in his eyes. 'Dean?'

'Come on Sam.' Dean let go of his brother and stood up, 'need a hand?'

'Thanks Dean.' Sam frowned as he let Dean help him up, he swayed drunkenly and stumbled against Jim, 'ah sorry Doc.'

'Sam?' Jim looked at the young man 'Dean can you help Sam back to his bed I want to give him a good check up.' When Dean didn't respond Jim glanced over to see that dean was no longer in the bathroom.

'Dean?' Sam whispered brokenly, 'I was a kid again wasn't I Doc?'

'Yes Sam you were.' Jim said as he helped his young patient out of the bathroom.

'How long?'

'Days this time.'

'Oh.' Sam lowered his face and concentrated on moving his tingling leg as he walked back to the bed and sank down on it gratefully. 'Doc what's wrong with me?'

'Not sure Sam but we will find out.' Jim said reassuringly.

'Hey Doc, Sam I'm sorry.' Dean spoke from behind Jim, turning around the doctor looked up at the mask set firmly in place on the younger man's face.

'Dean?' Sam whispered his large eyes quickly filling with tears as he tried to work out what was going on with his big brother.

'Listen guys I'm gonna go rustle up some coffee and let you talk and then I'm going to give Sam a complete check up so don't go anywhere okay.' Jim left the two Winchesters staring at each silently. 'Don't kill each other either.' He yelled as he slammed the door shut.

'Dean?'

'What happened Sammy?'

'I – I got a pain in my head and, and I remember ah shit Dean he's back.'

'Who?'

'Strife.'

'But I ... how?'

'He – he said that he has friends in high places.' Sam said as the realisation hit him, 'Dean I can't ... I won't go through that again.'

'Fuck Sammy, he's been the one all along hasn't he?'

'What do you mean?'

'When you ... when the six year old you takes over he says that the bad man talks to him in his head.'

'He wants me back.' Sam admitted softly.

'Not gonna happen on my watch.'

'Dean what happened when he took you prisoner? Not the last time when he broke your jaw before that?'

'Dunno what you're talking about Sam.'

'Dean don't please ... just tell me when I was with Bobby and you were looking for the demon to get the orb back what did he do to you?'

'Why's that so important Sammy? It's old news.'

'It's important to me.'

'Why?'

'Damn it Dean.' Sam yelled, 'I need to know, I need to remember.'

'Remember what?' Dean yelled and then stared at Sam in shock, 'Sam what do you mean remember?' he asked quietly.

'I don't remember ... there are huge holes in my memory Dean, and, and when the six year old comes out I don't remember that either.' Sam admitted still yelling his frustrations and anger finally released. 'Fuck Dean I look at you and try to remember what it was like growing up, I have fragments but nothing like it should be. When you talk about our childhoods they're your stories not mine.'

'Sam?'

'I have nightmares with faceless people in them, I know I am supposed to remember who they are but I don't.'

'Sam please...'

'Talk to me Dean please I am scared, every day it's like another chunk of my life is gone forever.'

'What do you want me to say to you?'

'I want you to tell me the truth, don't keep trying to protect me I need your help Dean.'

'He, it did things Sam things that you don't need to know.' Dean brushed it aside and sat down next to Sam. 'Why didn't you tell me about your memory?'

'I – I don't understand it myself, but whenever the kid me comes out it seems that more of my memories disappear. It's like life trying to restart itself.'

'Wiping out your present you?'

'Kind of.'

'Okay, ah so if you keep forgetting then you won't even know what or who ...'

'Who is Missouri?' Sam blurted out, 'I – I remember the name and know I should ...'

'She is a friend Sam, a psychic who helped Dad when Mom died, she's been our friend and a great help to us since.'

'Oh ... Pastor Jim?'

'Oh God Sammy I am so sorry.'

'Dean I hate this ... I hate feeling like a victim, I want to ... I want my life back I want to find this demon and kick his ass back to hell.' Sam declared. 'He destroyed my past he is not going to destroy my future.'

'Sam what are you on about?'

'I'm tired of being a victim Dean, no more ... no more.' Sam got up and limped towards the bathroom, 'I'm gonna go have a shower before I forget how to do that as well.' The venom in Sam's tone silenced Dean's response; he stared at his brother as he made his way into the shower slamming the door behind him. Sighing heavily Dean ran his hand through his short hair, 'when did this get so fucking screwed up?' he muttered suddenly fighting the urge to start laughing.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

Warning Will Robinson!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please refer to the above warning for mature content in this chapter.

Sorry this is a slightly shorter chapter but it is very intense so I wanted to keep it to the point and set up the next longer one.

* * *

CHAPTER NINE

_His voice hoarse from the muffled screams against his gag, his lithe body covered in sweat strained against the pressure inside of him. He wanted to expel the intruder, it hurt, fuck did it hurt he was being split into two pieces and he was helpless to stop it._

_Betrayal is bad at the best of times but when it is your own body, betraying you the whole world has gone into the shit basket._

_He felt himself grow harder, the more the intruder thundered into him the harder he became until it was painful. The vice-like grip on his balls and the cock ring prevented him from release. He so needed release, against his skin he felt the ragged breath and could smell the stench of demon breath pouring over him like an insipid fog. His only saving grace was the fact that he didn't have to face his intruder, face down on the hard mattress he could keep his eyes closed and keep a grip on his sanity. Finally, he felt the exit as painfully and as keenly as he felt the arrival and penetration. Vicious and violent he felt his muscles tear under the strain as the intruder ripped itself from his body. The warmth of his own blood and other fluids he refused to acknowledge dripped down his abused anus and trailed down between his legs. His screams now pitiful mewling were absorbed by the saliva soaked gag. He felt his body jerk and roll as the intruder forced him onto his back; rough scaled hands attacked his own throbbing forced erection. Tears fell mingling with his sweat as his body once again betrayed him, the ring removed and a hot acrid mouth took him violently, biting and scraping with fangs sharp enough to penetrate the tender skin with the slightest of pressure. Agony coursed through him, his back arched and he screamed. His eyes rolled backwards until only the whites were exposed, his teeth bit into the sodden knotted rag as his body went into a convulsive release. Sobbing he felt the strange forked tongue flickering against his tender ripped skin, his back arched again as he felt it dip into the top of his penis, lapping at the leaking cum. Claws squeezed his balls tightly once again preventing his release, he thought he would implode. Then the assault changed, hands clawed at his writhing naked body, wracking long bloody furrows down his torso, ripping at his nipples until they two bled. The release finally allowed proved just as agonising for him as his overly sensitive body went into overdrive. Over stimulated the orgasm was not blissful, it hurt to the core of his being, it was forced from him, ripped from his soul and eviscerated it. His body, limp, sweaty and wracked with post-orgasm tremors and ripples of agony gave him no respite. Even with the intruder no longer mouth fucking him, his breath ragged and shallow produced bubbles of bile on his bruised and cut lips. Spent and used he lay on the filthy mattress, no longer capable of cohesive thought or movement he remained lying in the fluid and blood, the evidence of his rape. _

Memories are powerful things; they can bring joy or completely and irrevocably destroy all hope and dreams. They hurt as much as they reaffirm, but no one can deny them when they return unbidden.

-----------------

'Dean ... I am so sorry.' Sam whispered as he stared down at his sleeping brother, emerging from his shower Sam felt better physically but the scars threatened to burst once again. 'I have to do this, forgive me.'

Dropping the note onto Dean's pillow Sam turned away and determinably limped towards the patio doors, he resisted all of his natural impulses to turn back and hide behind Dean and his strength, but Sam knew that he couldn't not this time.

'Nice to see that you are willing to keep your appointment.' The tormentor spoke mockingly, a fleeting whisper in Sam's ear, 'welcome home my son.'

'I am not your son; I thought we had covered that.'

'Ah but you are my son, you are my creation without me your life would be meaningless.'

'What do you want?' Sam asked wearily, he could feel the sleepiness encroaching and the pull of his six-year-old-self wanting to come back and protect him. 'I thought that the big guy told you to leave me alone.'

'He is not as strong as he likes to think he is.' Greglorious materialised in front of Sam, 'I have you and now I also have a sister for you.'

'What are you ... Leave her alone she's only a little girl.'

'A little girl already lost to the darkside.' Greglorious laughed running a finger down Sam's cheek, 'ah but enough talk we must go before your watchdog wakes up.' Before Sam could answer he felt his body detach itself from his awareness, he felt weightless. The only anchor was the vice-like grip on his arm and the talons cutting into his skin.

----------------------

'Singer Salvage yard, Bobby speaking.'

'Bobby Singer? You old hound dog this here is Herb Billington.'

'Well there's a name from the graveyard, what the hell you doin' Herb?'

'I ah have two guests in the cabins you might have some interest in finding.' Herb said with a mysterious tone to his voice.

'Who?' Bobby asked refusing to play the word game he knew was about to follow.

'Spoilsport, do the names Dean and...'

'Dean and Sam they're at your place?' Bobby interrupted him incredulously, 'how the fuck did they manage that?'

'Sheer dumb luck, they appeared a week or so ago all beat up and got a cabin, didn't know who they were until a few days later.'

'How, how are they Herb?' Bobby asked letting his emotions override his macho instincts.

'Not so good Bobby, look they don't know that I am calling you but ... I have a feeling they need you and Caleb if possible.'

'Damn it, I shoulda followed em and brought their skinny asses back here when they ran off.'

'They ran off?'

'With some half-baked idea of saving me and Caleb ... we'll be there in the morning Herb ... and thanks.'

'Don't mention it Bobby.' Herb hung up and stared absently out the window in the direction of the cabins, he had an uneasy feeling in his bones that he just couldn't shake.

'Sweetheart are you alright?'

Herb turned and smiled at his wife Daisy, married now for over thirty years, produced two fine sons and two beautiful daughters; now they preside over a brood of grandchildren, and he still loves her as much as he did on their wedding day. 'Fine Honey, just thinking of Dean and Sam.'

'Oh those two poor boys, and to think that they don't even have John anymore.' Daisy shook her head sadly, 'I've fixed them some food want me to take it down to them?'

'No, no I'll do it, Jim's meeting me down there soon anyway he thinks he may have found a treatment to counteract the effects of whatever Sam was given.'

'Okay well I'll just go pack it up for you,' Daisy smiled and kissed her husband's cheek, 'I am so glad that they found us.'

'So am I darlin' so am I, oh by the way Bobby Singer and Caleb Reaves are coming down tomorrow.'

Bobby and Cal? Oh how wonderful, it's going to be good to have the place full again.' Daisy Billington smiled happily and bustled off to finish packing the meals she cooked for the Winchester boys.

----------------

_The humiliation burnt his skin as he felt himself forced onto his hands and knees in front of the intruder's guards and other minions. His abused body now numb from the pain and mistreatment it had suffered. A rough hand gripped his hair and pulled his head backwards straining his neck until it felt it was going to snap. One of the guards took his place in front of him, and before he knew it was naked and forcing his engorged cock into his mouth. His abused throat constricted and he tried to pull away earning a hard blow across his torn back, tears trickled as he felt roughened hands hold his head in place. No one moved and he panicked unsure of what was going to happen next when he felt the intruder behind him and he renewed his struggles forcing his numb body to react and to fight back. His efforts rewarded with another vicious blow this time across his bare butt cheeks, forcing the cock in his mouth deeper until he choked. Then the intruder forced his way into him again, no preparation, no lubrication nothing to prepare him for the assault. Trapped between two tormentors pounding into both ends he pushed his mind away from his body, not wanting to endure the humiliation and degradation. Floating above the scene and with detached interest, he watched the pathetic creature on hands and knees, one beast fucking his mouth the other dry fucking his anus. A ring firmly in place around his own penis preventing his release once again. Trapped and victimised once again he took in the way the pathetic creature shook, the mingling of sweat and blood coating the pale skin and bodily fluids dripping from his mouth and now from his anus. The word rape echoed in his thoughts again._

Faster and faster memories flooded back, unbidden and unwanted – forget the pain and humiliation search instead for the nurturing and comfort. No one wants to know the bad; the bad should remain hidden and buried.

-----------

Dean sat up panting and covered in sweat and the cloying feeling of a fever; frantically he glanced over at Sam's bed and found it empty, the sour feeling in his gut fast turning into something more sinister.

He felt the trickle of blood from his ear again and sighed heavily, 'not again.' He mumbled pulling himself up he started to head to the bathroom when a piece of paper fluttering to the floor caught his attention.

He growled and refused to let the tears flow, Sam had really done it this time. A knocking at the door startled Dean and he lurched towards it ready to let lose on the unsuspecting visitor.

'Dean what's wrong?' Herb asked when he saw the naked fury in Dean's eyes, wordlessly the young man thrust the note at him and then stalked back into the living area. 'What?' Herb asked disbelievingly, 'ah Sam not now.'

'He's really gone and done it Herb.' Dean ground out his voice gravely with pain and emotion. 'He's fucking done it, no matter what I do it doesn't matter he still goes and does ... why?'

'To save you.' Herb said simply sitting down on the edge of Sam's bed Herb reread the note Sam left behind.

_Dean,_

_I know that you are going to get so angry with me but I have to go, I have to do this Dean. Greglorious is back and if I go with him then he will leave you and the others alone. I can't let him hurt you again Dean, it would kill me if._

_I don't know how long I can keep 'little Sammy' back now, the fight is wearing me down so perhaps if I go to Greglorious and let 'little Sammy' out fulltime then everyone will be safer and better off._

_I love you big brother, I know I don't tell you often enough and if I had to do things over I would have done them differently. I want to thank you for everything you have done. I couldn't have asked for a better brother._

_Bye Dean from both me and 'little Sammy'._

_Your brother always Sam._

'Damn it Dean I don't ... ah shit.'

'What now?'

'Jim is on his way over he thinks that he has found a way to counteract the effects of the drugs they fed Sam.'

'What?' Dean blinked confused, Sam was gone because he thought that things were hopeless, Jim was on his way over because he might have a way back for Sam. 'This is so fucked Herb.'

'Okay now I would have seen Sam if he left by the front door, so that means ... the patio.' Herb got up and hurried over to the French doors with Dean in tow, the distinct smell of sulphur still hung in the warm evening air, 'damn it.'

'He, he took him from here Herb, he took Sam.' Dean broke down the pain and fever wearing down his defences, 'I've lost him this time.'

'No Dean, we just have to think smarter than that snake.' Herb said sounding remarkably like John Winchester incarnate. 'Bobby and Caleb are on their way, they'll be here tomorrow, between all of us we'll find Sam and bring him home so you can kick his butt personally.'

----------

Sam woke and blinked furiously, he gazed around his surroundings confused, it was cold and damp and very dark. Whimpering slightly he pulled his knees up to his chest and started to rock himself as shivers started to course through him.

'Why you crying?' A little girl's voice broke through his misery, sniffing he looked up and stared at the wide-eyed little girl kneeling in front of him.

'Who you?' He asked petulantly.

'I'm Susie.'

'I'm Sammy.'

'Why you crying?'

'Coz I don't like it here.'

'Why?'

'Coz it is dark an' cold and it smells funny.' Sam wrinkled his nose and sniffed noisily, 'what you doin' here?'

'Bad man brought me here away from my new daddy.'

'A Bad man brought me here too, he made me leave my brother.'

'Do you have a daddy?'

'No he died an' went to heaven.'

'Oh.' She crawled a little closer to Sam and put a hand on Sam's leg, 'sorry.'

'I don' 'member him,' Sam said sniffing again, 'I don' 'member much.'

'Sorry Sammy.' Susie went to sit next to Sam and put her little hand in his, 'I can be your friend.'

'Thanks, how old are you?'

'I'm four, how old are you?'

'I'm six.'

'Wow you big for six.'

'Coz I don' 'member well, by brother Dean says it's coz I been sick an' I-I'm not big like I used to be.'

'How old when you big?' Susie asked her curiosity getting the better of her.

'I'm ...twenty-four Dean says that but I only think like a six old.'

'Wow, poor Sammy.' Susie snuggled into his side and heaved a sigh of happiness when Sam enveloped her with his long arm and hugged her tightly.

'We be okay Susie, my brother Dean will find us.'

'Dean really strong?'

'Uhhuh and very brave.' Sam nodded. 'We can be brave together okkies?'

'Okkies Sammy.'

'Aw isn't this just too sickly sweet.' Greglorious said materialising in front of his two young prisoners. 'Though isn't she jailbait Sam?'

'Who you?' Sam scowled then his eyes widened in realisation, 'oohh you the bad man.'

'Sam there is no need for any of this pretence anymore.' The demon growled moving at blinding speed he grabbed Sam's shirt and lifted him effortlessly up until his feet dangled above the floor.

'Let me go you big bully.' Sam cried out kicking at the demon, 'I want my brother.'

'You leave us lone.' Susie yelled jumping up she kicked the demon in the leg, 'let go Sammy.'

'Sammy?' Greglorious stared at the young man, noticing the subtle change in Sam's demeanour and the child-like look on his face.

'Lemme go.' Sam kicked again this time catching Greglorious squarely in his stomach, winding him. 'I wanna go home.' Breathing out the demon dropped Sam and then towered over him his anger getting the better of him. he pummelled the hapless young man with his fists and vicious kicks. Sobbing Susie tried to stop him but he effortlessly threw her against the wall ignoring her painfilled cry as he continued his assault on Sam.

His anger spent he disappeared out of the room leaving a bruised and bleeding Sam curled in a foetal position and Susie huddled against the wall staring blankly in front of her, blood dribbled from her nose.

'I want Deanie.' Sam sobbed inconsolable; he hurt all over and didn't understand why the bad man beat him. He must have been naughty to get punished but he didn't remember being naughty. 'Dumb Sammy.' He started chanting rocking himself in time to the words; he became lost in his confusion.

Suddenly the demon reappeared and picked up Susie by one arm before sneering at Sam and disappearing again taking the small girl with him and leaving Sam alone. Terrified the confused young man wept and withdrew further into the depths of his childlike mind.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Voice of Reason **

**Sequel to Who Am I?**

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

Author's Note: Sorry it has taken so long to update, Real Life has a stranglehold on me at the moment and I am swamped with end of term assessments and essays for the next few weeks. So I thought it might be better to do shorter more frequent updates than the longer chapters, for now anyways.

* * *

CHAPTER TEN

_Shadows chased him through the trees and long grass, he fell and skinned his knees but he picked himself up and kept running, he had to get away he had to find them._

_Large hands grabbed at him from behind he screamed in terror as he fell face down. Scrambling to his feet he started to run again, he could feel the blood running down his face and arms but he couldn't stop. _

_The hands grabbed him this time pushing him down on the ground he felt the weight on top and he knew that he had been caught. He felt a scorching pain across the back of his ankle, a knife sliced through his Achilles tendon crippling him. He screamed himself hoarse as large tears fell down his face. He felt his hips pulled upwards but he could do nothing to stop what was to come next. It was a trap all along, the chance to escape, the chase it was all a set up, he was the prey, the hunted and now to the victor went the spoils. He was the spoils._

_White hot pain seared through him as he felt the intrusion in his body, dry and violent thrusting forced it deep inside and he screamed for the last time before unconsciousness claimed him and he slumped forward limply. Suspended only by a pair of large filthy hands._

Sammy whimpered and jerked his head up, his body ached and his head hurt so much, tears ran down his face but he just sniffed and scrubbed at his nose with his arm. He tried to move his other arm and it wouldn't do what he wanted making him cry even harder.

The little girl who was his friend was gone and now he was all alone; Dean was gonna be so mad with him for running away and now he was all alone. 'Deanie?' Sammy called out but only silence answered him. Closing his eyes he pictured Dean in his mind, he could hear his voice, he could remember Dean.

'Wake up brat.' Greglorious appeared in front of Sammy and kicked him viciously. Sammy cried out and tried to focus on his tormentor. 'Go away, don't like you I want Deanie.'

'Shut up and come with me.' Greglorious snarled, 'now brat.'

'No, I want Deanie,' Sammy pouted, 'my arm don't work anymore coz of you, I want my brother.'

'Shut it and get up or your other arm won't work either.'

'No, you're a meanie!' Sammy cried trying to push away from the demon, 'I want Deanie, you're a meanie.'

'Get the fuck up.'

'Ooh you cussed and said the bad word.' Sam breathed wide-eyed, 'you gonna get in trouble.'

'With who? There's only you and me here shit-head and you are going to do what I say.'

'No I'm not.' Sammy cried out and lashed out with his leg, kicking the demon behind the knees, as the demon crashed to the floor Sammy kicked out again this time catching Greglorious' nose.

'You little shit!' Greglorious screamed swiping at Sammy with a taloned hand slicing the young man across the chest. Sam screamed in pain and then pummelled his attacker with his good fist as hard as he could, his damaged arm hanging limply at his side.

'No more, no more hurting Sammy.' He kept yelling with each blow, 'no more hurting.'

Greglorious roared and flew up to hover over Sammy, his human persona gone replaced by a winged creature with large leathery wings, a misshapen face and a jaw filled with razor sharp fangs and teeth. The body shorter, rounder and covered in black and red scales, the hands now with long claws instead of fingers and the feet the same. It screeched in fury as it hovered in the air above the traumatised boy cowering on the floor before it swooped at him with its claws ready to slice through the soft skin.

'What the fuck do you think you are doing?' A cold voice roared through the silence making the creature morph back into the humanoid version.

'What are you doing here?' Greglorious countered.

'You took my prize.' The Master indicated Sammy still cowering against the wall, covered in bloody cuts and large multi-coloured bruises. 'What the fuck have you done to him?'

'He disrespected me.' Greglorious snarled, 'I taught him a lesson.'

The Master demon hissed and then went to crouch in front of Sammy, 'are you alright Sam?'

'Who you?' Sam whispered pushing himself harder against the wall, 'I want Deanie.'

'Sam did he hurt you?'

'My arm broked, it don't work so good.' Sam said his lower lip trembling as fresh tears started to flow, 'an' he cut me.'

'How old are you Sam?'

'Why?'

'Because I am worried about you.' The Master said reaching out to stroke Sam's face but the young man recoiled and stared at the fiery yellow eyes in front of him.

'Ooh you the bad man in my dreams.' Sam cried out, 'dumb Sammy, dumb Sammy.'

'Sam?'

'Dumb Sammy, silly dumb, dumb Sammy.' The boy wailed as he started to rock himself and bang his head on the wall behind him.

The Master demon rose, stalked over to the strife demon, and grabbed him by his collar and lifted him easily, 'what the fuck did you do to him?'

'He, he is permanently in a child state, he thinks he's five or six something like that.'

'What? What the fuck can I do with him like this?'

'Then let me keep him.'

'As if I would reward you for your stupidity.'

'M-Master he tastes so good, I couldn't help myself.'

'How did you get him away from his watchdog brother?'

'Came to him in his dreams, it was rather easy actually. Told him to come with me and I wouldn't kill his brother.'

'And he was in this condition?'

'No, no at that stage he was back to normal he woke up like this.'

'And you didn't think that something was wrong?'

'Six or twenty-four who the fuck cares ... he still tastes ... he is addictive, Master please let me keep him.'

'He is not a toy or a pet Greglorious, he is an important part of my plans and you have ruined him' The Master yelled his anger and patience at their limit, he waved his hand and the demon screamed as it burst into flames and disappeared into the air, all that remained was a small pile of ashes. 'Now Sammy my boy let's see about waking you up.' The Master smiled down at the now unconscious boy.

---------------------

Dean woke with a start, he could have sworn he had heard Sam calling out his name, looking around blearily he focused on the faces of the four men looking at him. 'What?' He mumbled.

'Welcome back to the land of the living.' Bobby grinned, 'how you doing boy?'

'Oh just freaking peachy.' Dean growled wincing as his stiff jaw decided to remind him of the still healing fracture.

'So I see.' Bobby tossed back, 'doc is here.'

'How long have I been out?' Dean turned a baleful stare at the elderly doctor.

'Two hours.'

'We have to find Sammy.'

'No, first I will check you out and then we will see if you are up to it.' Jim said evenly.

'I am going Doc don't really care what you say.'

'I can always knock you out Dean.' Jim countered lifting his hand to show Dean the syringe he was holding, 'your choice.'

'So why you taking so long?' Dean snapped.

The doctor opened his mouth to retort but instead picked up his digital thermometer and stuck in Dean's ear another hand clasped his patient's wrist and a foreboding look on his face silenced any further protests.

After the doctor finished his exam, gave Dean another shot of antibiotics and then a mild painkiller before starting to pack up his equipment.

'So Doctor what's the verdict?' Dean asked.

'You still have a fever, your infection is slowly abating and your jaw is far from fine but otherwise...'

'I'm going to find Sam.' Dean declared when a sharp pain passed through his head right behind his eyes. 'Argh.' He grunted and gripped his head tightly.

'Dean? Dean what is it?' Jim asked concerned for his patient, he knew he hadn't missed anything.

'Sammy ah ... Sammy ... pain.' Dean managed to get out as the vision blurred in his mind, all he could see was Sam crouched against a wall, broken and bleeding, he could hear Sam calling for him. 'Sammy?' Dean's body slumped forward as the tenseness left him limp and shaking.

'What was it Dean?'

'Sammy ... he was hurt so bad.' Dean said, 'damn if this is what Sam goes through then I don't want it.'

'Dean?'

'I heard him, calling my name, he sounds so scared.' Dean spoke more to himself than to the others but they all heard him clearly.

'Dean?' Bobby crouched down in front of Dean and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, 'what else did you see?'

'Sammy, he was hunched against a wall ... no windows ... nothing, he was alone but hurt so bad and I could hear him calling me but he wasn't saying it aloud.'

'Do you think you can find him?'

Dean lifted his head and stared evenly at Bobby, sniffing away the tears. 'What do you think?' he asked wiping drops of blood away from his nose. 'We're going on a hunt.'

------------

'Sammy you got big owies?' Susie asked peering up at her friend's face, 'did the bad man do that?'

'Uhhuh, he hurt me an' now my arm won't work.' Sammy nodded looking at Susie, 'whatcha doin' back here?'

'My daddy saved me.' The little girl exclaimed excitedly, 'he says he wants to save you too.'

'No, no, no, only Deanie, Deanie will save me.'

'But my daddy wants to.'

'No, no Deanie, I want Deanie.' Sam started to rock again banging his head against the wall, 'Deanie save me.'

'No, no Sammy, my daddy wants to help you.' Susie pouted stamping her little foot, 'he said he make you better.'

'No I want Deanie.'

'Deanie gone Sammy, Deanie not coming.' Susie yelled, 'my daddy wants to be your daddy.'

'No!' Sammy screamed, 'my daddy is in heaven with my mommy.'

'Sammy no, my daddy ...'

'No!' Sammy yelled his anger bursting to get out of him, 'go way you're not my friend.'

'Ow Sammy, you hurt Susie.' She cried out sliding across the room with an unseen force, 'Sammy a meanie.'

'I want Deanie.' Sam yelled again, pushing himself up the wall he stood his full six feet five inch height, his face burning red and infused with anger, his good fist clutching at air, 'I want Dean.'

'Sammy, scaring Susie ... stop it.' The little girl sobbed, 'Daddy!'

The Master demon appeared and picked up the crying child and vanished, reappearing within the blink of an eye alone, he stood in front of Sam and watched him carefully.

'What's with the temper tantrum?'

'I want Dean.' Sam puffed out, he blinked profusely trying to clear his blurry sight, the fog lifting from his mind slowly as he started to remember what happened. 'What the?'

'Ah nice to see you back Sam, I have been waiting for you.'

'What's going on?' Sam asked confused he looked down at his broken arm, dizziness assailed him and his knees buckled slowly he slid back down to sit on the floor propped against the wall. 'What did you do to me?'

'Oh it wasn't me precious boy, it was that idiot Greglorious.'

'Where?' Sam swallowed convulsively at the thought of the strife demon returning.

'Done and dusted, now Samuel I need to know something.'

'The name is Sam.'

'When you were the child ... was it an act?'

'What the fuck? No it wasn't an act, your boy did something to me ... to ... to...' Sam winced as the now familiar pain spiked behind his eyes.

'To what?'

'Who are you?' Sam blinked up at the stranger in front of him, 'where am I?'

'What's your name?'

'Sammy.'

'How old you are Sammy?'

Sam blinked and visibly shuddered, 'who are you?'

'How old are you Sammy?'

'The name is Sam.' Sam snapped as his eyes closed and he listed to his side landing on his broken arm.

'Dusting that bastard was too good for him.' The Master snapped gripping Sam's already damaged arm he squeezed it and yanked hard eliciting a yelp of pain from his victim.

'What the fuck?' Sam blinked up at him, 'who are you?'

'Let's start this again Sam and no more losing consciousness or I will get mad, now how old are you?'

'Twenty-four what the fuck do you think.'

'What is your name?'

'Sam.'

'Sam who?'

'Winchester ... like you don't know that.'

'What about little Sammy?'

'He's safe now,' Sam said knowing that finally his 'little Sammy' wouldn't be coming back he had to protect him and not let him out again.

'Welcome back.'

'So who are you?'

'What do you remember?'

'Not much, argh my arm.'

'Yeah it's a nasty break, so what else do you remember ... think Sam or your other arm will look the same.'

'My, my brother and, and ... oh yeah wanting to kill you, you yellow-eyed bastard.' Sam spat the words out with as much venom as he could.

'Ah Sammy we are going to have to work on your people skills and manners aren't we.'

'What did you do with Susie?'

'She's safe, you frightened her with your little tantrum.'

'What about her mother?'

'No Sam you see it goes like this, you're my prisoner therefore I ask the questions and you answer me or face lots of torture, pain and well all around not so pleasantries.'

'Go fuck yourself.'

'You know with your mouth Sammy boy I am starting to think I preferred the little Sammy.'

'Yeah well careful what you wish for.'

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Dean sat in silence while he drove down the highway, not caring what speed he was doing, all he could see and hear was his little brother suffering at the hands of sadistic demons. Hell is too good for the ones who have Sam.

'Dean.' Bobby said for the third time, his worry for the stoic young man rising steadily, Dean hadn't said a word since they left the cabin, just drove like a man driven by obsession. 'I swear Dean answer me or I am gonna hit you ... hard.'

'What?' Dean finally answered blinking at Bobby before turning his gaze back to the road ahead of them.

'Where are we going for a start?'

'Here.' Dean said skidding around a corner and pulled up in a cloud of dust and gravel.

'And where exactly is here?'

'This is where Sam is.'

'And you know this how?'

'I – I just do.' Dean said, 'you coming or you gonna stay here and bitch?'

'What do you think?' Bobby growled angrily as he got out of the car.

'Bobby?'

'What?' Bobby snapped but when he saw the haunted look in Dean's eyes he calmed down, 'what is it Dean?'

'I ah ... nothing let's go and get Sam.'

'Sure, what about the demon Dean?'

'Which one?'

'There's more than one?'

'I think so, there's Greglorious who took Sam originally and ... and broke ... but there's the other one the one who's pulling the strings.' Dean said as he unconsciously rubbed his aching jaw.

'Do you think it could be old yellow-eyes?' The older hunter asked his eyes narrowing angrily, 'what else did you see Dean?'

'Nothing.' Dean said unable to look at Bobby, 'we doing this?'

'Yeah let's go.' Heavily armed and both spoiling for a good fight Dean and Bobby moved stealthily towards the large abandoned factory hidden in shadows.

Dean pulled up and silently motioned to Bobby, where two guards were standing, Bobby nodded and moved around to circle up on them. Dean stood up and straightened his shoulders, and then he strode towards them humming the tune of _Bad to the Bone _softly a feral grin spreading across his features.

'Hey guys long time no see.' He said refusing to show the pain his still healing jaw caused.

'What the?' One of the guards recognised Dean immediately, 'you fool boy?'

'Hmm nope.' Dean grinned, as Bobby appeared behind them, 'not today anyway.'

In a matter of only minutes Dean and Bobby managed to dispatch both guards and confiscate their weapons, they dragged the unconscious men into the shrubs and quickly bound and gagged them. Moving into the building Dean took the lead, his mind fixed on one destination.

---------------------

Sam sagged against the wall, his battered body and broken arm taking a toll on his waning strength, it took everything in him just to keep himself focused and not let little Sammy through again.

'So we just gonna chat all day or what?' Sam asked determined not to show just how weak and in pain he was.

'Or what.' The demon replied, 'ya know I like you Sammy boy.'

'The name is Sam, the only one who gets to call me that is Dean.'

'Ah so your memory is returning nice and fast then is it?'

'What did you do?'

'Nothing I swear just let you work it out only your own.' The possessed man wore a strange grin and his eyes glittered more gold than yellow, reminding Sam of flames.

'So why can't I remember you?' Sam asked guardedly.

'All in good time Sammy...Sam ... now why did you upset Susie like you did?'

'I didn't upset her that's what you wanted to happen so don't blame me.' Sam shot back already mortified at how he treated the young girl, or rather how little Sammy treated her.

'Why can't you let her go she's only a little girl?'

'Ah but so much potential.' The demon sighed, 'and that baby will never be infected by human interference.'

'You're a sick bastard...' Sam said as he winced and bowed his head to hide the grimace of pain, not now, he can't ... not now.

'What is wrong now?' the demon asked looking bored.

'Nothing.' Sam spat out cradling his broken limb close to his side he kept his head down and just tried to concentrate on keeping his breathing even.

'Look at me Sam; I need to see your face.' The demon appeared in Sam's line of vision, crouching down in front of him he cupped Sam's chin and forced him to look up. 'You're in pain but there is something else isn't there.'

'I – I don't know what you're talking about.' Sam tried to pull his face out of the vice-like grip without success.

'Do not lie to me Sam I will not abide lying from my children.'

'I am not your child.' Sam spat out.

'Oh yes you are and in more ways than you will ever know.' The yellow-eyed demon grinned as he stood up making Sam stand up with him. 'Now I am running out of time and patience I am going to have to move things along.'

'What are you on about now?'

The demon didn't answer instead it pinned Sam against the wall immobilising him and then he placed both hands on either side of his prisoner's face. 'Look at me Sam.'

Sam glanced at him and then squeezed his eyes shut, a small act of defiance but one nevertheless. 'Look at me.' It snarled again squeezing Sam's head viciously; it forced itself into Sam's mind, ripping away the newly repaired defences.

Sam screamed and writhed trying to pry himself away from the wall, as the demon raped his mind and psyche. He felt the triumph as it found it's objective, and he screamed again as the demon probed and prodded trying to destroy all remnants of Sam's humanity.

Suddenly Sam stopped struggling, a thin line of drool dribbled from the corner of his cracked lips, as his jaw slackened and eyes slid open, but they were unfocused and glassy. A gun blast slicing through the silence forced the demon out of Sam's mind before he could finish destroying the last of the young man's grasp on his humanity and his innate goodness. 'What the?' Disorientated the demon staggered away from his victim, before it could register what happened another blast rang out and it stumbled backwards as the rock salt embedded in the human chest. An unholy roar and cold wind gusted through the room as the human fell bonelessly to the floor and a cloud of putrid blackness cascaded through the cracks of the wooden floor escaping a sure death.

Dean ran to his fallen brother's side, a cry escaped his lips as he saw the dullness in the once bright sea-green eyes and the viscous fluid dribbling from his mouth. 'Sammy?' He whispered reaching out to touch Sam's cheek, when his younger brother recoiled and whimpered in terror. 'Sammy?'

'Dean what is it?' Bobby asked from his position by the door.

'Dunno Bobby, but he's really done something to Sam this time.' Dean turned to look at the old friend.

'Let's get him outta here and have the doc look at him.' Bobby said sympathetically as he glanced down at the broken form of Sam Winchester huddled on the floor.

'Sammy I'm gonna help you up okay?' Dean asked gently making sure that he met Sam's gaze, cautiously reaching out he took Sam's good hand in his, a small gasp leaving his lips when he saw the twisted mess of his other arm. 'Damn it Bobby look at his arm.'

Sam flinched and stared at the two men in front of him, he felt that he should know them, they seemed so familiar especially the one closest to him. Instinctively he knew to trust them and to let them help him. But he would still keep on guard and watch them closely if they did anything ... but then what could he do?

Sam let Dean help him to stand up but he pressed himself against the wall and watched the two men warily.

'Sammy it's okay not gonna hurt you.' Dean said, 'we're gonna get you some help.'

Sam let Dean take his good hand as he took a tentative step forward, stumbling slightly he fell against his brother's side. Horrified Sam stopped and stared at Dean waiting for the punishment to come, but instead he felt a hand on his shoulder looking down he frowned when he saw the offer of help, not pain.

Shuffling his feet Sam let Dean lead him out of the building and towards the black car, a gasp slipped from Sam as he saw the sleek black impala in the moonlight a small smile played across his lips, he could remember a car just like this.

Running his hands over the vehicle he slid into the front passenger's side without looking at the men with him, this felt so safe and so right that he settled himself into the seat and closed his eyes. The walk to the car had exhausted him.

'Trust him to remember the car.' Bobby grumbled, 'what is it with you Winchesters and this impala?'

'Coz she's the baby Bobby.' Dean gave him a lopsided grin, 'let's get outta here.'

Dean drove carefully back to the cabins, this time sticking to the speed limit and making sure that he didn't do anything that would disturb his brother.

Sam frowned in his sleep and moaned as his restlessness aggravated his broken arm, grinding the bones together, 'S-Susie?' he whispered, 'not your daddy, he not your daddy.'

Dean and Bobby exchanged worried glances via the rear vision mirror as they both heard Sam's mumblings as a nightmare assaulted him mercilessly.

'Should we wake him?' Bobby asked as reached over to hold Sam's injured arm, preventing him from starting to thrash around.

'We're almost there.' Dean said trying to focus on the road and blink back his tears.

Pulling into the cabin park, Dean let Bobby out at the main house so he could let Herb and Jim know that they were back, but also gave Dean a few minutes to help Sam inside and to get him settled before the others bombard them with their good intentions.

Dean easily pulled up in front of their cabin and stared at his brother for a few seconds, Sam had woken when they dropped Bobby off but he just stared into space, his face passive and empty, his eyes dull and unfocused and the dribble still falling down his chin. 'Okay Sammy we're gonna go inside now.'

Sam turned to look at Dean when he heard his voice, then without blinking or showing any signs of recognition he went back to staring out the window. Sighing heavily Dean got out and went around to Sam's door, opening it slowly he held his hand out to his brother and waited for him to take it. After two aborted attempts, Dean managed to get Sam out of the car and holding hands tightly the two brothers shuffled into the cabin.

Sam let Dean lead him to the bed furtherest from the door, passively he let him clean him up, tend to the various cuts and bruises, his gaze fixed firmly on Dean's face.

At first, Dean felt his brother's unblinking stare unnerving but after a few minutes of busily tending to his physical needs, Dean could turn Sam's stare off.

'Okay let's get you dressed into something warmer huh?' Dean said as he went to undo Sam's jeans when suddenly his brother reacted and pushed himself away shaking and whimpering. 'Sam, hey Sammy it's okay, it's alright we don't have to do anything.'

Sam calmed down and returned to his unblinking stare, frustrated Dean sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands over his face, trying to scrub away the invisible cobwebs covering him.

A soft touch brought him out of his reverie, opening his eyes Dean stared at Sam, who was tentatively touching the bruises still lining Dean's jaw, his eyes wide with awe.

'It's okay Sammy, it's getting better.' Dean said covering Sam's hand with his own. 'Sammy can I see your arm?'

Sam frowned and looked down at the arm Dean pointed to, and then he looked up at Dean 'broked?' He croaked out.

'Yeah Sammy it's broked.' Dean said with a smile, 'can I see it?'

'Kay.' Sam said simply. 'Who are you?'

'I'm Dean ... your brother.' Dean said softly. 'You're Sammy.'

'Kay.' Sam accepted what Dean said calmly but without recognition. He winced as Dean inspected the now swollen arm, the break clearly evident under the bruised and fluidised skin. 'Damn it Sammy.' He hissed and then mentally cursed himself when he saw Sam flinch.

A knock on the door startled Sam and made him try to scramble backwards, away from the intruders. 'No, no.' He cried out squeezing his eyes shut to block the new arrivals out.

Dean cursed under his breath and jumped up to answer the door, putting a finger to his lips he motioned, Herb, Jim and Bobby inside and then carefully locked and salted the door after them. Going back to the bed he touched Sam's face and waited for him to respond. Gradually Sam opened his eyes and stared at his brother's familiar face.

'Sammy, you remember Bobby don't you? He helped me bring you home.' Dean said slowly and kept eye contact with his sibling. 'This is Herb he's the guy who owns the cabins and he's a good friend and the other man is Doctor Jim, he's gonna help make you better.'

'B-better?' Sam blinked and focused on the elderly man, 'Dean?'

'Yeah I'm right here Sammy, the doc is gonna fix your arm.'

'M-my arm?' Sam frowned and looked down at his injured limb. 'Broked?'

'Yep that's it Sammy.'

'Kay.' Sam nodded but kept staring at Dean. 'Don't go.'

'Not going anywhere Sammy.'

Jim sat on the edge of the bed just opposite Dean where he had clear access to Sam's arm, 'hello Sam do you remember me?'

Sam turned slightly to look at the older man a thoughtful look on his face, 'no.' He said succinctly.

'I am Doctor Jim.'

'Kay.'

'Can I look at your arm?' the doctor moved cautiously as he leant in towards Sam who turned back to Dean, tears shining in his eyes.

'Hey it's okay Sammy, I'm right here.' Dean said taking Sam's good hand in his again, 'I'm not going anywhere.'

'Hurt ... you.' Sam whispered, 'they ... they.'

'Hey it's okay Sam, I'm okay.' Dean quickly reassured his brother, visibly wincing when he saw Sam shudder as the doctor probed the break.

'What's the verdict doc?' Dean asked not liking the look on the medic's face.

'Sammy, I need to talk to Dean just over there is that okay?' Jim asked carefully making eye contact with Sam.

'Don't go.' Sam cried out clutching Dean's hand, 'no, no not lone.'

'It's okay Sammy I aint going anywhere.' Dean soothed Sam, 'how about you lie down and try to sleep.'

'Stay with?'

'I'll be right here.' Dean said as he helped ease Sam into the bed, putting a pillow under his damaged arm for him. 'How's that?'

'Th-thanks.' Sam rasped letting his eyes slide shut as the pain and confusion overwhelmed him.

'Doc?' Dean whispered, 'what do you think?'

'His arm, there is too much fluid in the joints, that will have to be drained first and well the rest seem to be superficial you did a good job with them Dean, I am worried about his ribs, I think two are actually broken.' Jim said as he finished his medical exam, 'the only other injury I have concerns with is this.' The doctor brushed Sam's hair out of the way and pointed to the lump and bruising just behind Sam's ear.

'What about? What about his?' Dean couldn't quite get the question out, his grip tightening around Sam's fingers as he moaned and tried to shift under the probing touch.

'Okay, so his arm?' Dean asked clearing his throat and blinking back tears of sympathy.

'Okay like I said I need to reduce the swelling and fluid first, that is imperative and then we might have to reset the bones before casting it.'

'Damn doc I dunno ...'

'It would be better if Sam was unconscious.' Jim added with a heavy sigh following the short statement.

Dean nodded his head and watched his little brother, 'do it.'

Jim pulled a syringe out of his bag and pressed it into Sam's arm waiting for the sedative to take effect he took several empty needles and laid them in a neat line on the bedside table. 'Okay Dean even though I have given Sam a strong sedative I want you to hold him down, keeping him as still as possible.'

Dean nodded mutely and moved slightly making it easier to hold Sam down. Bobby and Herb stayed back and out of the way as they watched the doctor remove syringe after syringe of fluid from the shoulder and elbow joints, the amount shocking everyone.

'Ah Herb how's about we go and rustle up some food for the boys?' Bobby finally suggested desperately wanting something to do.

'Sounds like a good idea.' Herb muttered escaping the claustrophobic cabin; he hated to see the young man in so much pain.

After seemingly hours, Jim took a deep breath and laid down the last syringe, after effectively reducing Sam's broken arm, 'Dean I have to reset the bones now, I am not sure exactly when Sam's arm was originally broken so ...'

'Do it doc.' Dean grunted out shifting slightly so he could hold Sam completely still.

Taking a deep breath and holding it, Jim took the injured arm in his hands, positioning them carefully and then without showing any other outward emotions he yanked on Sam's wrist in one sharp movement. The bones crunched and realigned, but Sam's back arched and he screamed.

'Doc?' Dean cried out unable to contain his own emotions any longer.

'All done, just have to cast it now.' The doctor panted, 'it's nearly over.'

'How? How's he?'

'He's doing fine Dean.' Jim said, 'you know of course once I finish fixing Sam up I am going to want to check you again.'

'Doc.'

'Not discussing it Dean, it's a done deal.' The Doctor said with a grim smile on his face.

An hour later and Sam rested comfortably in his bed, his newly casted arm settled in a sling and propped up with a pillow bunched at his side. Dean sitting with the others in the living area quietly talking and eating so as not to disturb the youngest Winchester.

Although he wouldn't admit it, Dean did feel better with the shot of painkillers and antibiotics the doctor had given him, he finally allowed himself to relax slightly, only slightly.

_He felt the hands gripping his head in a vicelike way, squeezing everything out of his mind and replacing it with images of pain and terror. He screamed but his voice was gone, a gaping hole in his throat, torn edges of skin and tendons dripping blood. The hands moved squeezing him even more until he could no longer see except for a red haze as the blood dripped from his eyes._

_One hand remained clamped against his head the other trailed down his body, leaving bloody welts in its wake. 'You have been a very naughty boy Sammy.' The voice mocked him, repeatedly as the hand molested his body, raking bloody tracks over him and ruining him forever._

Sam's eyes flew open and he opened his mouth screaming wordlessly, his eyes wide with fear, he couldn't understand why his arm wouldn't move and was so heavy. Terrified he tumbled from the bed and pressed himself in a corner, his fingers fluttering at his neck trying to feel for the hole. Confused and still locked in his nightmare-filled mind Sam started to rock back and forward, banging his head against the wall. 'Naughty Sammy.' He repeated in a monotone voice, tears fell down his face, 'bad Sammy.'

'Sam?' Dean dropped to his knees in front of his traumatised brother and tried to reach out to him when Sam recoiled even further, a soft keeling sound coming from him. 'Oh God Sammy look at me.'

Sam blinked and tried to hear that soft voice, the familiar voice drowning out the cruel one, he stilled his rocking and cocked his head to one side as he listened to the voice soothing his pain.

'Sammy, please dude don't do this, don't let him win.' Dean whispered terrified that he had lost his brother completely this time.

'D-De?' Sam rolled his head around so he could try to focus on the face, 'D-De?'

'Yeah Sammy, that's it, look at me I'm right here.'

'Hurts De.'

'I know Sammy, I know but I promise I won't let them hurt you anymore.'

'I'm Sammy?' Sam asked his voice barely above a whisper.

'Yep, and I'm your brother Dean.' Dean said with a tremulous smile, 'will you let me help you up?'

'Uhhuh.' Sam nodded and let Dean pull him up and help him back into bed.

'Atta boy Sammy.' Dean said sitting on the side of the bed, he reached over and brushed Sam's fringe out of his eyes, 'that better?'

'Thanks.'

'Always here for you lil bro.' Dean said letting Sam trace the bruises on his own face. 'It's okay Sammy.'

'Hurt you?'

'Yeah they did but they didn't keep me down.'

'Hurt Sammy?'

'Yeah they did dude but they won't keep you down for long either.'

'You ... you're my b-brother?'

'Yep, I'm your awesome big brother.'

'Mom? Dad?'

'They're gone Sammy, they passed.'

'He, he said ... he was my father.' Sam wept openly, 'told him no not my daddy but he got mad ...'

'Sammy do you know who hurt you?'

'Man with flaming eyes.' Sam sniffled, 'D-Dean my brother.' He touched Dean's chest and then his own. 'Brothers.'

'Brothers.'

'Arm feels funny.'

'Don't pick at it Sam, the doctor had to put it in plaster.'

'The man ... with fire in, in his eyes ... he hurt my mind.' Sam whispered sleepily, 'he, he wanted me.'

'Wanted what Sam?'

Sam yawned and blinked tiredly up at Dean, 'he wanted me to forget ... all but him.'

'He doesn't know you does he?'

'Nope, coz ... I'm Win-Winchester.' Sam mumbled as sleep took hold of him, his long fingers twisted around Dean's tightly.

'Yeah that's right bro, you're a Winchester.' Dean said leaning over to brush a soft chaste kiss on Sam's hot forehead, 'and Winchesters are too stubborn to give in to the bastards.'

'Dean?' Bobby whispered hoarsely.

'Yeah?'

'Sam how?'

'Confused and in pain.' Dean interrupted him, 'Bobby it's the yellow-eyed bastard.'

'Sure?'

'Yeah Sam said it was a man with flames in his eyes.' Dean spat the words out, 'Bobby sending him back to hell is too good for him.'

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Sammy sat quietly sipping from a glass of juice, he watched Dean and that other man carefully they were talking quietly and drinking coffee. Sammy sighed and looked at his juice, and then again at their cups of coffee. A sudden anger surged through him and he pitched his glass against the wall, watching the bright orange liquid spill and splatter, the glass shattering into little pieces.

'Sammy?' Dean hurried to his brother's side unsure of what was happening now. 'Sammy what's wrong?'

'Not ... n-not ... kid.' Sam spat out angrily turning his blazing stare to his brother, 'not kid.'

'I-I know dude, what's wrong?'

'C-coffee!' Sam demanded pouting

'You want coffee?' Dean asked in shock, 'you broke a glass and threw a tantrum coz you want coffee?'

'De ... laughin' at Sammy?'

'No, no Dean's not laughing at Sammy.' Dean said trying to suppress his laughter, 'want a coffee Sammy?'

'Kay.' Sam's lower lip trembled as his ever-present tears threatened to fall. 'Dumb Sammy.'

'No ... no Sam you are not dumb.'

'De mad?'

'No De not mad.' Dean sighed, 'how bout I get you a coffee?'

'Kay.' Sam watched as Dean walked over to the small kitchen his piercing gaze never leaving him as he made Sam a coffee with lots of milk and sugar in it.

'Be careful Sammy it's hot.' He cautioned handing his brother the mug.

Sam sipped the hot liquid cautiously a small smile spread across his lips. 'Mmm nice.' He whispered.

Dean went back to sit with Bobby, suddenly feeling very tired and overwhelmed, 'what happens if I can't get him back Bobby?' He asked finally.

'We'll get him back Dean, it's just gonna take some time.' Bobby said, 'anyway old yella-eyes will have to regroup which will buy us a little more time.'

'I'm tired Bobby.' Dean admitted his voice cracking slightly, 'I don't know how much more ...'

'Hey Dean son, we're all here to help ... me, Jim, Herb all of us are here to help.'

'I know and ... thanks.'

'Don't mention it.' Bobby said as he went back to sipping his coffee and watching Sam surreptitiously, 'Dean.' he jutted his chin towards the youngest Winchester. Dean turned to look at Sam a small smile forming, 'aint he cute.' Bobby chuckled.

Sam had placed the coffee on the bedside table and decided to have another sleep, curled on his side with his broken arm resting on the pillow, his long hair tangled and partially covering his eyes, and his thumb firmly fixed in his mouth.

'Ah it's not fair Bobby, Sam should be finishing his law degree and getting married not lying here trapped in the mind of a child.'

'We'll get him back Dean I promise.' Bobby said, 'we need someone to keep an eye on him though.'

'Yeah I know we can't take him with us, but fuck Bobby he won't let me out of his sight.'

'Yeah I was thinking about that, we can take care of things Dean, you stay here and ...'

'I have to do this Bobby; I have to be the one.'

'and you will son, but the hunting and stuff leave it with me, you just concentrate on getting Sam back to normal.'

'Ha, what is normal Bobby? It has been so long and yet feels like yesterday since I found him in that hospital.'

'He's gonna come back to us Dean, he's just ... lost.'

-------------------------

_Sam felt himself falling, he didn't know how to stop it, his body boneless crashed into invisible walls, and he plummeted. In the walls, he saw flashes of a life he barely remembers, all he could see was one face but everytime he reached for it, a force would pull him away and he started to fall again._

_Sobbing he saw the face of a smiling man with sparkling eyes and dark hair and scratchy beard; and then he saw a boy laughing as they played together, their play morphing into training. 'Dean?' he sobbed as he lost sight of his brother, he could hear voices, yelling and fighting, a calm voice trying to reason but it was smothered by the anger of a man and a boy._

_'Dean?' he called again as he started to tumble somersaulting through the air smashing into the invisible barrier with his back and then bouncing to hit his face, a raw sob pulled from deep within echoed through the tunnel as he kept falling._

_'No more!' He cried out, 'no more, I want Deanie.'_

Sam's back arched as he cried out in pain, tears ran freely down his face and his eyes scrunched closed as his body seemingly buffeted by an unseen force jerked uncontrollably on the bed. Dean held him down as much as he could and tried to wake his brother but trapped in the nightmare, Sam was unable to find a way out.

'Sammy come on dude wake up, come on don't do this.' Dean cried out as Sam's back arched again and blood started to pour from his nose, 'Sammy come back to me please.'

'Deanie? I want Deanie?' Sam wept as he slumped against the bed, his battered body ready to give out. 'I want my Deanie.'

'I'm right here Sammy, I'm right here.' Dean whispered as he brushed Sam's fringe out of his eyes. Sam blinked and tried to focus on the blurred face above him, the familiar voice was back making him feel safe. 'Hey Sammy, welcome back dude.'

'De?'

'Yeah it's me.'

'Sammy sorry.'

'Why are you sorry?'

'Make Deanie cry.' Sammy said reaching up to touch Dean's wet cheeks with his good hand.

'Ah Sammy, I could smell Bobby's dirty socks, that would make anyone cry.' Dean said scrubbing his tears away.

'Bobby's socks?' Sammy started to giggle and then he felt the warmth and wetness on his lips and chin. 'Deanie?'

'It's only a nosebleed Sammy, that's all.' Dean said wiping his brother's face, 'it's all over.'

'Deanie?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Bad man ... he ... he hurt Sammy again didn't he?'

'Yeah Sammy he did.'

'He hurt Susie.' Sam frowned, 'made me ... not nice.'

'No he's not.'

'Deanie ... help Susie?'

'We'll try but you need to get you cleaned up, feel like a shower?'

'Uh uh, bath please Deanie?'

'Ah okay but you gotta be good and have a good wash as well.'

'Kay.' Sammy smiled shyly as he looked at his older brother and then he sat up slowly and tried to disentangle himself from the bedding, 'Sammy stuck.'

'Sammy sure is.' Dean chuckled, 'okay ready Sammy?'

Dean took Sam's good hand and led him to the bathroom; Sam ducked his head when he saw Bobby, still unsure of the gruff sounding man. Sitting on the closed toilet seat Sam waited while Dean filled the bath with warm water and bubbles, absently picking at the cast covering his arm. 'Deanie?'

'Yeah dude?'

'My mem-memory not so good now.' Sammy said softly, 'bad man ... put holes in here.' He hit the side of his head with his good hand, 'made Sammy dumb.'

'Hey Sammy, Sammy look at me.' Dean said crouching down in front of Sam he looked at his brother cupping his cheeks gently, 'you're not dumb and you are going to get your memory back okay, no one is gonna keep us Winchesters down.'

'No one keeps us down!' Sam grinned wrapping his good arm around Dean's neck Sam hugged him and then gave him a kiss on the cheek, 'love you Deanie.'

'Love you too kid, now how about that bath before the water cools?' Dean wrapped Sam's cast in a large plastic bag, sealed it up before he helped him finish undressing, and then held onto him as he stepped into the bath, 'remember to wash behind your ears you don't want dust bunnies growing back there.'

'Deanie!' Sam exclaimed in mock horror, 'not funny.'

'Aw come on Sammy was a little funny.'

'Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'I try.' Sammy said ducking his face down so Dean couldn't see him properly, hiding his eyes behind his long fringe.

'Try what Sammy?'

'To member, member what that bad man did.'

'Aw Sammy you don't have to remember all of that.'

'Yeah do De... gotta help Susie?'

'Well first, you gotta clean those ears and...'

'Finished.'

'That was quick, you sure you did ...?'

'Dean!'

'Okay just checking.' Dean grinned as he held the towel out for Sam looking away to give his brother some semblance of privacy. 'Sammy we're gonna go shopping tomorrow, we need a few things.'

'G-go out?'

'Yeah dude we can't keep relying on Herb and his wife for food.'

'Oh 'kay De, you want me to come too?'

'Yeah don't want to leave you alone dude.'

'Wh-what bout B-Bobby?'

'He has to go and do some work, it's gonna be okay Sammy, I'll be right with you all the time.'

'Okkies, De?'

'Yeah dude?'

'The bad man came in my dream.'

'Just a dream Sammy.' Dean countered his brother's argument not wanting to upset him any more than necessary.

'De ... he – he pushed Sammy down big hole.'

'Ah Sammy it was only a dream.'

'I-I could see stuff through the walls.' Sammy kept speaking lost in his own memories, 'saw ... man with dark hair ... Dad?'

'Yeah dude that would have been Dad.'

'An-and then I saw you an-an-and me playing.'

'Yeah?' Dean helped Sam pull his T-shirt over his head and then released his cast from the dripping bag. 'What else Sammy?'

'Umm the man umm mean daddy and me yellin' lots.'

'Typical you remember that!' Dean couldn't help grinning.

'We – we didn't ... Daddy didn't like Sammy did he?'

'Ah Sammy it was a long time ago.'

'Sammy bad?'

'No, no just ... you and Dad were both too stubborn for your own goods and clashed a lot.'

'Member pretty girl ... J-Jess?'

'Yeah she was your girlfriend.' Dean sighed how come all the bad comes up with the good? 'Put your foot in your sweats Sammy.'

'Deanie?'

'Yeah dude?'

'I-I saw an, an angel.'

'Yeah?'

'She was so pretty ... she smiled at Sammy she had really pretty yellow hair and dimples like Sammy's.'

'Mom?' Dean breathed a little louder than he intended. 'Aw Sammy I'm sorry.'

'Sammy make Dean sad?'

'No, no not at all, I'm glad you saw her.' Dean said, 'I'm really glad.'

'De?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'The bad man ... he hurt you too?' Sammy asked reaching over to touch Dean's jaw.

'I'm okay Sammy now how about we get you back to bed huh?'

'N-not a kid Dean.' Sammy growled his face darkening with anger.

'Hey, hey Sammy what's wrong?'

'Sammy n-not k-kid ... Sammy big like Dean ... bigger.'

'Yeah I know, come on dude you're getting cold.'

'Sorry Deanie, Sammy sorry.' Sam's lower lip trembled as his tears spilled, 'Sammy dumb.'

'No, no please Sammy listen to me, you are not dumb and you are not bad. You've been hurt by a horrible bad man and you will get better, you've just gotta give it time.'

'Okkies don't be mad Deanie please.'

'Okay if you promise not to call yourself dumb or bad anymore.'

'Promise ... cross my heart.' Sam went to cross his fingers over his heart when he stopped in mid-movement, his eyes wide with fear.

'Sammy? Sam what's wrong?'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and looked at his brother awareness in his green eyes, 'Dean?'

'Sam?' Dean frowned.

'What?' Sam frowned and then started to shake uncontrollably. 'Dean?' He cried out as he started to collapse convulsing.

'Sammy what is it?'

'De?' Sam cried out as his eyes rolled back into his head and he sank into unconsciousness, viscous dribble escaped from the corner of his mouth.

'Bobby need some help in here.' Dean cried out cradling his brother's limp body against his chest.

'What? What's wrong?' Bobby panted as he ran in.

'Sam ... he ... he seemed to be his old self for a second and then he went into convulsions ... can you help me carry him back to the bed please?'

'Yeah, yeah sure.' Between the two of them, they managed to haul Sam back into the main room and lay him gently on the bed. 'Damn Dean he's heavier than he looks.'

'Tell me about it.'

'So you said that he was aware and acting like normal Sam?'

'Yeah and as soon as he did he fitted, it's like he set off a trigger when ... what the fuck did that thing do to him Bobby? He's been more than mind-raped this time.'

'Might pay to get Missouri down here Sam.'

'Missouri? Why? What can she do?'

'She might be able to tell us what he did to Sam's mind.' Bobby said, 'look I don't want to call her in anymore than you do but ... there's no one else we can call.'

'I know Bobby ... but Missouri?' Dean whined.

---------------

Dean sighed again and pulled the impala over to the curb as he turned the engine off he twisted around in his seat to face his little brother. 'So Sammy you know what we're doing?'

'Uhhuh goin' sh-shopping.' Sam mumbled distractedly picking at his cast.

'Leave that alone Sammy.' Dean chided him gently swiping at his fingers, 'look at me Sammy.'

'Yeah Deanie?'

'You stay with me okay, no wandering off on your own.'

'Okkies Deanie, Sammy be good.'

'I know you will be, okay let's get this done.' Dean sighed and got out of the car hurrying around to help Sam out and led him across the street to the grocery store. A tugging feeling at his back, made him smile Sam was holding the tail of his jacket, something he hadn't done for a long time. 'You okay Sammy?'

'Yeah.' Sam whispered making Dean turn and look up at him, taking in the wide-fear-filled eyes and pale face.

'You sure you're okay with this Sammy?'

'Sammy not kid.' Sam snapped glaring down at his brother for a second before a brightly coloured wrapper caught his eye, 'ooohh can Sammy have one?'

'Just one Sammy.' Dean said watching Sam carefully choose a candy bar, 'get me one too please Sammy.' He said smothering his laughter at Sam's precision in choosing a damned piece of candy.

'Deanie?' Sam turned around but he couldn't see his brother, 'Deanie?' He cried out again a little louder his voice filled with panic. His eyes darkened as he heard some kids laughing and they were pointing at him, 'I want my Deanie.' He cried out turning around in a circle.

'Hey kid shut up the yelling you're disturbing the customers.' A man yelled at Sam angrily, 'get outta my store.'

'I-I w-want my b-b-brother.' Sammy stammered, 'Deanie?'

'I told you to shut up.' The man yelled grabbing Sam by the arm.

'Ow let Sammy go.' Sam cried out in pain.

'What? You simple or something?' the man snarled tightening his grip on Sam's arm, 'you planning on paying for those?' He nodded to the candy bars Sam squeezed in his fingers.

'Let Sammy go.' Sam cried out again his face reddening with his distress and building anger.

'What the?' the man gasped when he saw the products starting to shake on his shelving, the lights flickered on and off. A small group gathered around him watching with morbid fascination as he struggled with the tall and disabled young man.

'Sammy?' Dean called out hurrying towards his brother, his face pale and a small bloodstain stood out on the back of his neck. 'Hey let my brother go.'

'What this freak your brother?' the man smirked at Dean as he held Sam's arm with a bruising grip.

'Let him go now.' Dean said his voice low and the look on his face deadly. 'You don't want to hurt him anymore.'

'Deanie I wanna go home.' Sammy wailed.

'It's okay Sammy; this ... nice ... man is going to let you go now.'

'Why? Why shouldn't I just call the cops? He should be locked up not loose on the streets.' The man sneered.

'You bastard.' Dean hissed moving closer to the man he moved blindingly fast pulling the man's fingers from Sam's arm, applying just enough pressure to make the man wince and finally let go. 'That's better, come on Sammy, we're leaving.'

Sammy whimpered and clung to his brother's hand tightly his head dropped to his chest hiding his face from all of the others staring at him. 'Where was you Deanie? I got scared.'

'Someone got me Sammy, damn it I am so sorry.' Dean came to a stop at the front of the impala and stared up at his trembling sibling, 'you okay Sammy?'

'S-scared.' Sammy replied sniffling, 'you hurt Deanie?'

'Yeah someone got me from behind when he bent down to get something.' Dean ran his fingers gingerly over the lump forming on the back of his neck, 'they must've wanted to separate us.'

'Don't like that place, can we go home?' Sam swiped at his face and stared at Dean realising that Dean had blood running down his neck. 'Deanie bleeding.'

'Ah shit.' Dean touched the bloodied area and then mustered a smile for Sam, 'it's okay come on and get in the car Sammy, we better get back, and I might get Herb to go buy some food for us after all.'

'Sounds like a plan Deanie.' Sammy said almost sounding like adult Sam for a second.

'Deanie why did that man call Sammy a – a f-f-freak?' Sam asked watching Dean as he drove them back to their cabin.

'Coz he is nothing but an idiot and a freak himself.'

'Sammy a freak?'

'No Sammy, no you are not a freak.' Dean said firmly, 'ah shit.'

'Deanie what's wrong?'

'Hang on Sammy, just hang on.' Dean said as he desperately slowed down the car in order to miss the man standing in the middle of the road. A man with yellow eyes.

'Deanie that's the bad man.' Sam cried out in horror as the car suddenly swerved and skidded in loose gravel.

'Shit got no control.' Dean ground out fighting to regain control of his car.

'Deanie.' Sam cried out as the impala flipped and started to roll down an embankment.

Sam moved slowly, he lifted a shaking hand to his bleeding head and started to whimper, taking a deep breath he felt for the seat belt clip and felt himself fall. 'Deanie?' He called out reaching for his brother's arm, Dean lay crushed against the steering wheel, the car had landed upright but the roof dented and crumpled in from the impact literally held Dean in position. Blood ran down the side of his face and his arm hung limply at his side. 'Deanie?' Sammy cried again shaking his brother trying to wake him up. 'Deanie please ... you scaring Sammy.' He wept.

tbc


	13. Chapter 13

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

Note 2: Sorry it has taken so long, the usual suspects have been at large, a temperamental computer among other things but oh welz such is life...

ANYHOO thanks for all reviews that I haven't had a chance to get to personally and I hope that you like this chapter I know it is shorter than normal but there is a really good reason for it...mmmwhahahaha

* * *

Chapter 13

'Time to come with me Samuel.' A cold voice growled against Sammy's ear, frightened he turned and twisted but there was no one there.

'Sammy scared.' He whispered to his brother but Dean remained unresponsive. 'Wake up please Deanie.'

'Time to go now Samuel.' The voice commanded and Sam blinked furiously trying to ignore the command.

'No!' Sammy cried out he could feel his anger build again, he wanted his brother, the car shook, metal on metal scraped and groaned under the sudden movement. Glass shards rained down on the brothers still trapped in the wreckage but Sam sat stock still, unfocused eyes stared unblinkingly out the window as his rage built and took over.

Dean opened his eyes, he felt the pain immediately and regretted regaining consciousness, and desperately he tried to remember what happened. 'Sammy?' He licked his dry lips and blinked furiously trying to think of why his sight was blurred and tinted red. 'Dean you idiot you've got blood dripping everywhere.' His voice sounded dry and rough to his ears. 'Sammy?' He sat up and groaned falling backwards onto the soft green grass. Grass? No that can't be right he was driving the car, that dude was in the middle of the road. 'Sammy?'

'De?' Sam's face came into focus slowly, the pinched features and wide innocent eyes swam dizzily in front of him. 'De? You 'kay Deanie?'

'Yeah, yeah Sammy I'm okay what bout you?'

'De hurt?'

'De fine.'

'No De hurt, bleedin' bad.'

'Listen to me Sammy it's okay it looks worse than it is.' Dean managed to sit up this time resting on his good arm, his left one cradled to his chest was more numb than sore. 'What happened Sammy?'

'Bad man wanted Sammy to go with him.' Sam started shifting his gaze from Dean to a long strand of grass tickling his leg, 'he made De crash his baby.'

'Oh okay, Sam, Sammy hey look at me Dude.'

'He came to me in here,' Sam hit the side of his head with a clenched fist, 'He wanted me to go to him an' I said no!'

'Then what Sammy?'

'I got mad.' Sam wouldn't look at Dean, a look of guilt played on his face his eyes deepened his shame, 'I didn't mean to get mad Deanie.'

'Hey, Hey it's okay what else happened?'

'I moved the car,' Sam's voice faded with each word, 'I got mad and the car moved an' and I got you Deanie, you were stuck an' I got you out.'

'Oh okay, now Sam I need to know is the bad man … Sam? Sammy?' Sam started to shake uncontrollably, his eyes rolled up into his head as his breath came in long jagged breathes. 'Sam?'

Sam sprawled on the ground in front of Dean his body rigid as spasms rocked his muscles, after what appeared to be minutes instead of seconds Sam stopped twitching and lay silently staring at the sky above him.

'Oh God Sammy look at me.'

'Dean?' Sam blinked slowly almost painfully as he rolled his head to look at his brother, blood dribbled from his nose pooling on his lip before it continued down his mouth and chin. 'Dean?'

'Sam?' Dean stared open mouthed at his brother. 'Is it you?'

'What happened?' Sam tried to move but his body refused to cooperate. 'Dean?'

'We ah crashed Sam.'

'How?'

'Old yella stood in the middle of the road and well…'

'Oh okay, Dean what's wrong with me?'

'Why?'

'Feel so strange.'

'Sammy you hang in there I'm gonna ring Bobby to come and get us.'

'B-Bobby?'

'Yeah remember he's been staying with us, at Herb's cabins.'

'Ah Dean?'

'Yeah Sam?'

'I've been little Sammy again haven't I?'

'For a while yeah you have Dude, been strange.'

'Don't member much … head hurts.'

'Just lay still Sam and we'll get Doctor Jim to have a look at us.'

'No hospitals?'

'No hospital.' Dean fumbled in his jacket pocket for his cell, his head thumbed with an out of tune drum solo and his sight started to blur again, 'damn it pick up Bobby.'

Dean slumped forward dropping the phone as unconsciousness claimed his body and mind again.

'Dean?' Sam cried out his brother's name repeatedly but Dean remained unresponsive, frowning he could hear a familiar name calling out for Dean too, frustrated Sam tried to move his arm to pick the phone up but nothing. He couldn't do a thing. 'Bobby!' He yelled as loud as he could, 'Bobby help we need help.'

'Sam?'

'Help us Bobby please…' Sam felt his eyes closing he could hear the little boy crying for his brother and wanted to comfort him. He had to protect him at all costs, but how could he do that when he can't move?

'Sam? Stay with me son…' Bobby's frantic sounding voice came from the cell lying between the two unconscious brothers.

-----

Dean opened one eye and peered around suspiciously, praying that he was not lying in a hospital bed. 'Deanie wake up!' He heard a familiar childish voice and his heart sank.

'Hey Sammy.' He pushed the words through his dry and itchy throat, 'you okay?'

'Yeah Bobby came an' and found us.'

'That's good Sammy.' Dean yawned and wanted to close his eyes again.

'Sammy sleepy too but Doc Jim says we have to stay awake.'

'I know kiddo whatcha wanna do?' 'Yeah Dude?'

'Feel funny De …' Sammy dropped back on the bed again just as another seizure hit his long but too frail body.

'Oh God … Bobby? Jim?' Dean yelled as he managed to sit up and check on his brother.

'Dean?' Jim came running with Bobby close behind 'what happened?'

'Another seizure,' Dean said without preamble, 'he was talking and then …'

'The other seizure he had do you know how long it took?'

'Umm bout twenty seconds or so but felt longer.'

'Sam?' Jim patted Sam's face and waited for a response but the young man lay rigid, his joints and muscles locked in a battle of supremacy. Quickly the doctor did Sam's vitals, frowning when he read the blood pressure results, 'Sam you with us?'

'Wh-what happened?' Sam squeezed his eyes shut, the overhead light too bright for him to handle.

'You had another seizure.' Jim said watching his patient closely.

'So tired,' Sam's voice was barely audible. 'Where's Dean?'

'Right here Dude, right next to you.' Dean said gently wiping Sam's upper lip free of blood again.

'Can't move.' Sam frowned and opened his eyes only to cry out and squeeze them shut again. 'Ah bright … to bright.'

Bobby flicked the light switch off at the same time as Dean clicked the softer bedside lamp on. 'It's okay now Sam.'

Sam slitted his eyes open and gradually rolled his head to face his brother, 'mm thanks.'

'Sam you still with me?'

'Huh oh yeah sorry … I can hear him crying his scared.'

'Who Sam?' Dean frowned not liking the way Sam talked the distant look in his eyes, 'who's crying?'

'Sammy? I can hear him, he's so scared, I want to …'

'Want to what Sam?'

'Protect him, but the … Dean he has to stay hidden it's Sammy that bastard wants.'

'Sammy?' Dean frowned and sat up a little more so Sam could see him clearly without having to twist his head around anymore. 'Little Sammy? You can hear him?'

'Yeah he's in here with me, he is so scared he thinks that he hurt you.'

'Okay freaky … Sam why does the demon want little Sammy?'

Sam stared at older brother trying to make sense of the question and of having his younger self so vivid in his mind. 'Um he can control … no wants … wants to control Sammy he thinks that if he can get to me.'

'Then he can warp you to his way of thinking.'

'Something like that, Dean I'm scared, my memory is so mixed up, and now, now I have his memories in here as well and it hurts.'

'Calm down Sam please.' Jim hated to interrupt the brothers but Sam's blood pressure continued to rise, 'you need to take a couple of deep breathes and calm down.'

'No, no not again.' Sam wept openly as his head started to thrum with pain blinding him, his body took control away from him as his muscles spasmed and another seizure rocked his already fragile body.

'No, no this is not fair do something!' Dean stared at the doctor, his eyes blazing with anger as he watched his brother suffer another seizure again unable to do anything to help him.

'I can sedate him Dean but that's not … something is messing with his head Dean, whatever was done to him it affects his … this is becoming neurological and I'm afraid that I can't we need to get him to hospital and get an MRI and CAT scan done.'

'No, I promised him no hospitals what, what if he comes too and he's little Sammy again they'll want to commit him or something.'

'Dean listen to me, these seizures are getting more frequent and stronger, his blood pressure is dangerously high as well as the injuries he sustained in the car accident…'

'He won't let me out of his sight Doc how am I supposed to protect him in hospital?'

'Leave that to me, you are going in as Dean and Sam Singer, Bobby's adoptive sons, private patients you will be placed in a shared room just the two of you. I will tell them about Sam's particular problem and that it is caused by his neurological disorder no one will question any of my orders, it's a small hospital Dean, don't worry Bobby and Herb will stay with you guys in shifts so you will never be alone.'

'What about when he has these scans and stuff?'

'You can stay in the observation room with me, you can talk to him the entire time, everything will be alright.'

'You've already set it up haven't you?' Dean stared accusingly at the doctor and then shifted his gaze over to Bobby, 'haven't you Dad?'

'Dean we have no other choice, at least we might find out what's going on with Sam.'

'Low blow Bobby or should I say Dad?'

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

Chapter 14

Dean laid on his side with his gaze firmly fixed on Sam's sleeping form in the next bed. They had been in hospital for nearly a day and Dean hadn't spoken to anyone except Sam since they admitted the brothers. Feeling betrayed and alone Dean kept his thoughts and opinions to himself and ignored everyone especially Bobby.

His eyes narrowed as he watched doctor Jim come in with two orderlies, one pushing a wheelchair and the other with a gurney.

'Morning Dean, we're ready to take Sam down for his scans, got the chair for you and the gurney for Sam.'

'Don't need no chair.' Dean refused to look at the man who sighed and shook his head as he moved over to Sam's bed.

'Chair or stay put your decision Dean.' He tossed the comment over his shoulder as he gently tried to wake Sam up.

'Dean?' Sam's frightened voice had Dean up, nearly out of the bed before one of the orderlies grabbed him, and helped him into the wheelchair.

'Right here Sam.' Dean said impatiently waiting to be wheeled to his brother's side.

'Where are we?' Sam looked at Dean, then the doctor and then the orderlies before returning his guarded gaze to Dean.

'We got sideswiped and got put in hospital dude.' Dean said not wanting to take his attention away from his brother, 'the doc here thinks that you need some pictures of your head taken so that he can workout what's causing the seizures.'

'Seizures?' Sam's confusion made Jim frown and double check the boy's charts something wasn't right. 'Dean where's Dad?'

'Sam? Okay this is weird, what's the last thing you remember?'

'You, me and Dad hunting vampires.' Sam stared at Dean his green eyes dark with confusion and untapped emotions, 'dude what's going on? Where's Dad and why are we in hospital?'

'Dude ... ah doc could you give us a minute before you...'

'Yes certainly Dean we'll be back in a few minutes.' Jim said nodding to the two other men who followed him out the door. 'Sammy, it's been over a year since, dude Dad's gone, he died a year ago.'

'A year?' Sam blinked and felt his tears threatening to fall, 'don't understand ... Dean what's happening to me?'

'That's what the doctor wants to find out.' Dean stared at his brother, something felt so wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. 'You'll be okay Sam and I'll be with you.'

'Kay ... Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'My arm?'

'Broken ...'

'Your face?'

'Getting better.'

'Who's Herb?'

'He's the man who owns the cabins where we're staying.'

'Doc ... doctor Jim?'

'He's our new doctor and he knows about hunting so we are safe with him.'

'Bobby?'

'Remember Bobby we've known him since we were kids.'

'Oh ... Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Who's that?'

'Who dude?'

'That ... that lady.' Sam nodded his head in the direction of the door, turning slowly Dean looked up at Missouri Mosley.

'That's Missouri she's another friend.'

'Oh kay.'

'Hello boys.' Missouri said as she slowly made her way across the room her eyes fixed on Sam, 'hello Sam.'

'Hey.' Sam ducked his head and hid his face, suddenly feeling very shy.'

'Hey Missouri.'

'Oh Dean boy look at the two of you.' Missouri cupped Dean's face in her hands and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek before she turned back to Sam, 'can I give you a hug.'

'No!' Sam's head shot up and he stared horrified at the stranger in front of him, desperately he tried to scramble away.

'Sammy it's okay, she's a friend, she can help.' Dean said immediately recognising the Sammy panic mode.

'No, no Sammy scared, don' wan scary lady.'

'Samuel Winchester!' Missouri looked at him with a stern glare, 'I am no scary lady.'

'It's okay Sammy.'

'Sammy tired,' Sam yawned and tried to lie down again, 'wanna sleep.'

'Sorry little dude but we gotta go with the doc to take pictures of your head.' Dean took Sam's hand in his own and smiled softly, 'we can have ice cream when we get back.'

'Okkies,' Sammy's face brightened, 'can I pick?'

'Sure can ... so we okay to get the doc back now?'

Sammy nodded and watched Missouri with an air of mistrust, 'M-M-Missouri?'

'That's my name Honey.'

'S-sorry.'

'Oh Sammy there's nothing to be sorry for.'

'Sammy ... not ... got ... holes.' Sam struggled to find the words, in the end he gave up and decided to find his plaster cast fascinating.

Jim came back in and after the introductions with the newest arrival, took the boys upstairs to get the scans done, while she waited Missouri found Bobby and decided to get filled in over a cup of coffee. Caleb found them sitting in the small café after parking his truck, his recent scars still visible.

--------------

Dean watched as they placed Sam on the special table, he could feel the fear emanating from his brother, 'can you give him something to help calm him down?' He asked Jim hating himself but it was better than Sam hurting himself anymore.

'Yeah I was just thinking the same thing.' Jim said producing the small syringe, 'want to come in with me and help calm him?'

Dean nodded and let Jim wheel him closer to Sam's head, he hated seeing his brother so confused and restrained because of it. 'Hey Sammy.'

'Sammy scared De.'

'I know bud but this is gonna help make you better.'

'Kay, don't leave De.'

'Not going anywhere, I will be right in that room with Jim and I can talk to you while you're getting your scans done.'

'And, and then ice cream?'

'Yeah dude ice cream, Sammy ... Jim is gonna give you something to help you is that okay?'

'Owkay De.' Sam sniffled slightly and felt the needle pierce his skin, 'Sammy brave.'

'Sammy sure is.' Dean squeezed his brother's hand and then nodded to the doctor, 'it'll be all over soon Sam.'

'I'll be good Deanie.'

---------------------

Missouri sat and stared at Bobby, unheeded tears fell down her face as she took in everything that has happened since she last saw Sam and Dean. 'Oh my poor boys.'

'I dunno how ... I mean for all he's been through dammit Missouri Sam should've died a long time ago but he jus' keeps on ... and Dean he is so good with hiding but I can see through his cracks.'

'We're gonna get them back Bobby I promise you, we're gonna get them back.' Missouri laid her hand on top of Bobby's and squeezed gently.

'So what are we gonna do?' Caleb piped up with a malicious grin spreading on his face, 'I feel the urge to kick some supernatural arse.'

------------------------

Dean and Sam settled back into their respective beds, Jim had just left them to get issue his new orders and to speed up the results of the scans, but with the look on the medic's face Dean knew that it wasn't good.

Sammy settled back into his bed easily, the effects of the sedative still working, he was tired and just wanted to sleep. 'Deanie?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Tell me a story please.' Sam stifled a yawn and looked over at his brother with a pleading puppy look.

'Okay, so what about the adventures of Super Sammy and Daredevil Dean?'

Sam giggled and settled on his pillows happily listening to Dean recite an adventure from their childhood, not even having to exaggerate because nothing could be more bizarre than what they went through as children.

Fifteen minutes later both boys were fast asleep, Dean snored softly and tossed restlessly; Sam's thumb found his mouth again and he curled into himself trying to hide his impossibly big frame in the bed.

A man wearing a doctor's white coat and a young nurse slipped into the room, the nurse had a blank look on her face and waited until she was told what to do before she moved.

Dean shivered and woke slowly feeling for his blankets, something felt strange inside. His head felt heavy and filled with fog, his eyes burnt and he had a throbbing pain behind his right eye. His left elbow ached and the nausea hit him with a sucker punch.

Gagging he sat up and tried to focus on the room swimming and diving in front of him, nearly toppling from the bed he rang for help as his gags turned into retches and vomit erupted violently.

'Dean?' An older nurse came bustling in, she was one of only two nurses who Jim had authorised to care for the Winchester brothers and she took her responsibility very seriously. 'Oh you poor thing here let me help you.' She placed a kidney dish under his chin as another eruption forced its way out, though this time it was mainly bile.

'What has made you so sick sweety?' She asked softly placing a cool damp cloth on his forehead before checking the rest of Dean's vitals. Knowing how seriously Jim wanted to take the threat against the boys. Amelia Wills cleaned up the mess and efficiently cleaned Dean up as much as she could. 'You need a shower honey.'

'Sam.' Dean pushed his brother's name out between his chattering teeth. 'h-how i-is he?'

'Sam he's ... oh Dean Sam's not in his bed.' Amelia gasped in shock she was so intent on helping one brother she didn't realise that the other was missing.

'Bathroom?'

'No, no he's not oh my.' Amelia helped Dean into the chair next to his bed, covered his legs with a blanket and gathering the soiled sheets she flew from the room to look for Jim.

Dean reached out with a shaking hand and found his cell sitting on top of the cabinet, with blurry eyes he finally found the speed dial for Bobby and hit the button.

'B-B-Bobby.'

_'Dean what is it?'_

'S-S-Sam's gone.' Dean wept unable to control his emotions anymore, 'he – he's gone.'

_'We'll be right up.'_

----------------

Sam felt himself moving but he couldn't open his eyes, his body felt numb and non-existent and something foul filled his mouth. Terrified he tried to listen for any noise but there was only the sound of a motor and traffic. He could no longer feel Dean next to him and his panic gave way to an attack, a sharp sting in his neck brought tears to his sealed eyes as a weird floaty feeling took him away.

'Easy with him we don't want to hurt him now.' Doctor Mac said as he supervised the transfer of his latest patient, 'that's it take him straight to his room.'

'Which floor doctor?'

'Psych ward four, the isolation unit.'

'Yes sir.' The two orderlies wheeled the gurney carrying an unconscious young man into the side entrance of a large building and immediately took the lift to the fourth floor. 'Shame this kid looks harmless.'

'Yeah but the doc said that he has psychotic breaks and gets violent, either that or he acts like a child.'

'Frigging huge child.'

'True anyway doc wants to try one of his experimental things on him ... says that he's got no family, nothing to worry bout him.'

'Maybe it's better this way then, hate to be like that and have no one.'

'Yeah I hear ya.' The two men wheeled the gurney down the hushed hallway to the last room on the right, one keyed in the security code and the doors swung open to reveal a small room, with just a bed and a side cabinet, the window high in the wall was only big enough to let some natural light in. 'Welcome home kid.'

---------------------

Dean lay exhausted on his bed back at the cabin, after refusing to stay in the hospital he pulled his IV out of his arm and set off to walk out. No one was keeping him from finding Sammy.

Finally, Jim conceded and allowed Bobby to take Dean back to the cabins at least they could keep an eye on him there. Sighing heavily the doctor reread the report on Sam's scans it was worse than he feared and he did not want to tell Dean.

--------------------------------

'Where is he?' The familiar voice sounded startling the doctor just as he was about to enter the isolation room.

'M-Master ... Sir I have him in here.' Doctor Mac recovered and turned to face his Master. 'Welcome to Swiss Creek Asylum Doctor?'

'Smith, Doctor Az Smith.' The yellow-eyed man smiled wickedly, 'now show me our latest patient.'

The two men stepped into the room and took in the pathetic sight before them. The patient lay flat on the bed, with one arm encased in a cast, dressed only in a pair of hospital-issue pyjama-pants with a white band around his thin wrist. His green eyes, dull and empty looking stared up at the ceiling, he showed no signs of life aside from the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each of his breathes.

'Sammy?' Doctor Mac walked towards the bed slowly watching the young man closely. 'Sammy do you know where you are?'

Sam shook his head silently without moving his gaze, 'want Deanie.'

'Deanie's gone Sammy, don't you remember the car accident?'

'No ... want Deanie.'

'I am sorry son I know you have undergone a huge trauma but I am here to help you through it.'

'Don't know you.'

'My name is Doctor Mac and this is my associate Doctor Smith.'

'Sam it is good to meet you.' The other doctor stepped forward his eyes gleaming in the dull lighting.

'Want my Deanie.'

'Sorry Sammy but all of your family are gone. Your mommy, daddy and brother are all gone. You caused their deaths and that's why you are here.'

'No, no not true ... Sammy didn't ... want Deanie.'

'Calm down Sam or I will have to give you something to calm down,' Doctor Mac said brandishing a needle in front of Sam's eyes forcing the young man to focus on it and not the ceiling.

'Leave me lone.'

'Can't do that Sammy, you want to get better don't you?'

'I want Deanie.' Sam shouted angrily staring at the doctor, 'you not Sammy's doctor, I want doctor Jim.'

'No Doctor Jim here Sam, he's all in your mind, your very sick mind.'

'No, no, no you hurt Sammy.'

'No Sam don't you remember you were driving the car and crashed into a truck. Your father and brother died and you got sick in the head.'

'No, no, no.' Sam started sobbing, his head hurt and he was so confused, 'I want my brother.'

Impatiently Doctor Mac hissed and quickly injected the serum into Sam's arm, gripping the tender flesh tightly, bruising it.

'Owie, you hurt Sammy.'

'Sammy has to learn to be a good boy.'

'Am a good boy, Deanie said I am.'

'If you were a good boy then why did you let your family die?'

'Sammy s-s-sorry. Bad Sammy.' Sam sobbed as the drug started to take effect and he was lulled into an artificial calm.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Voice of Reason 

Sequel to Who Am I?

Disclaimer: Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

Warnings: Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

Note: I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

Chapter 15

Dean couldn't help but glare at Missouri as she tried to find Sam, but with his problems with his memory and little Sammy his regular psychic signature was nonexistent.

The cabin door banged open making both Missouri and Dean jump and glare at the new arrival, 'we got something.' Caleb said with a grin brandishing two discs, 'security footage want ya to see something.' Going to the main television, he slid one of the DVDs in the machine and waited for everyone else to join him. Dean settled his aching body into the soft couch and turned a hostile stare at Caleb waiting for him to get on with it. Seconds later, he moved his gaze to settle on the television screen.

He watched as a strange nurse and a very familiar doctor leave the room he shared with Sam, pushing a clearly unconscious Sam on a gurney down the hallway. The vision tracked them to the basement where it showed them pushing Sam towards a waiting ambulance.

'This is where it gets interesting, ya see that ambulance is one of a privately owned company who do patient transfers between hospitals.' Caleb said freezing the image to show the name of the company on the side of the vehicle, 'I tracked em down and they confirmed that they transferred a patient of doctor Mac's yesterday at the same time Sam disappeared.'

'Where?' Dean demanded his voice hoarse with pent up emotions 'where did that bastard take my brother?'

'Well ya see I did a bit of my own special investigations and came up with this,' Caleb showed them the other disc quickly he inserted it into the machine replacing the first one. The image showed a long driveway and the same ambulance pulling up at the side entrance of a large building that looked like something straight out of eighteenth century America. The image clicked over and changed to the interior of the building, where it showed the doctor talking to two men in white uniforms who wheeled Sam into a lift, the image shifted again to show them pushing the gurney towards a locked room where one keyed in the security sequence. The next image showed them manhandling Sam onto a bed and strapping him down before leaving the room.

A single tear ran down Dean's face as he stared down at Sam whose eyes were now open but showed no signs of life at all.

The screen filled with interference for a moment and then two men in white coats came into the room. 'This is where it gets totally interesting.' Caleb blurted out his excitement at his find palpable to the rest of the room's occupants. As he turned the volume up and with a morbid interest they all leant forward to listen closely as the men discussed their latest 'patient'.

_'Sammy?'_ Doctor Mac walked towards the bed slowly watching the young man closely. _'Sammy do you know where you are?'_

Sam shook his head silently without moving his gaze, _'want Deanie.'_

_'Deanie's gone Sammy, don't you remember the car accident?'_

_'No ... want Deanie.'_

_'I am sorry son I know you have undergone a huge trauma but I am here to help you__through it.'_

_'Don't know you.'_

_'My name is Doctor Mac and this is my associate Doctor Smith.'_

_'Sam it is good to meet you.'_ The other doctor stepped forward his eyes gleaming in the dull lighting.

'Caleb freeze it there.' Bobby ordered his hand firmly planted on Dean's shoulder, 'the son of a bitch.'

'Damn it why can't he leave Sammy alone.' Dean added his opinion as he stared into the eyes of their adversary. Caleb waited until he saw Dean nod his head slowly, 'I want to see and hear the rest Cal.'

The broken voice of Sam filled the silence making each person want to cry, _'Want my Deanie.' _

_'Sorry Sammy but all of your family are gone. Your mommy, daddy and brother are all gone. You caused their deaths and that's why you are here.'_

_'No, no not true ... Sammy didn't ... want Deanie.'_

_'Calm down Sam or I will have to give you something to calm down,_' Doctor Mac said brandishing a needle in front of Sam's eyes forcing the young man to focus on it and not the ceiling.

_'Leave me lone.'_

_'Can't do that Sammy, you want to get better don't you?'_

_'I want Deanie.'_ Sam shouted angrily staring at the doctor, _'you not Sammy's doctor, I want doctor Jim.'_

_'No Doctor Jim here Sam, he's all in your mind, your very sick mind.'_

_'No, no, no you hurt Sammy.'_

_'No Sam don't you remember you were driving the car and crashed into a truck. Your father and brother died and you got sick in the head.'_

_'No, no, no.'_ Sam started sobbing, his head hurt and he was so confused, _'I want my brother.'_

Impatiently Doctor Mac hissed and quickly injected the serum into Sam's arm, gripping the tender flesh tightly, bruising it.

'Fucking bastard I'm gonna kill him, slowly and painfully.' Bobby growled getting in before Dean could lay claim to the act of vengeance. But Dean's focus was solely on his baby brother, his heart breaking with each passing second as he listened to Sam's childish voice filled with confusion and panic. He could hear only Sam's voice the rest of the voices around him became white noise. He reached out to touch Sam's face on the screen oblivious to the looks of pity on the faces of the others. Missouri let out a little stifled cry but held it in this was Dean's time and no one else's. Turning her attention back to the screen she heard Sam cry out in shock and pain. _'Owie, you hurt Sammy.'_

_'Sammy has to learn to be a good boy.'_

_'Am a good boy, Deanie said I am.'_

_'If you were a good boy then why did you let your family die?'_

_'Sammy s-s-sorry. Bad Sammy.'_ Sam sobbed as the drug started to take effect and he was lulled into an artificial calm.

'Hang in there Sammy, Deanie's coming,' Dean hadn't realised that he spoke aloud until he heard the sounds coming from behind him. 'Aint no talking me out of it either Bobby.'

'Not gonna try Dean but we need a plan we can't just burst into that place with guns blazing.'

'Why the hell not?'

'Coz for one it is full of innocents and two we don't know what they will do to Sam before we can get to him.' Bobby tried to reason with the distraught young man, 'Dean you can barely stand let alone fight.'

'Sam is not going to hurt anymore Bobby, I don't care if I do it myself he's not gonna be some lab rat for a demon and his lackeys.'

-----------------------

Sam blinked and tried to remember where he was, he knew it wasn't the hospital with Dean. Dean was no long around him, frowning he tried to remember what happened, he could remember Dean telling him about Dad dying, and about the others and that lady Missouri. He remembered little Sammy coming out and wanting ice cream. But then he remembered the rest, when that doctor Mac and that nurse came in and did something to Dean while he was asleep. Then they came for Sammy, he tried to fight them off but the doctor was too strong and that nurse gave him an injection that made him feel funny.

'Gotta get outta here Winchester, gotta find Dean.' He kept muttering to himself as he worked on freeing himself from the restraints.

'Ah Sammy good to see you awake.' Doctor Mac strode into the room a smug look covering his face.

'What do you want?' Sam turned to glare at the older man. 'What did you do to Dean?'

'Ah so we have adult Sam back hmm interesting.' Doctor Mac wrote a few things down on the clipboard, 'so Sam tell me what do you remember about the accident?'

'What did you do to Dean? What did you give him?'

'Nothing my dear boy, you have been here since the accident. Your head injuries were quite severe and since then you have had several psychotic breaks, violent ones I might add. All this talk of demons and people trying to kill you.'

'What did you do to Dean?' Sam repeated his question choosing to ignore what the doctor was saying. 'I saw you do something to him in the hospital before you took me what did you do?'

'Hmm I think you are becoming quite unsettled again Sam.'

'Fuck you and tell me what you did to my brother.'

'Your brother is dead Sam, you killed him, he died because of you and he is never coming to help you. He's where he belongs with your father in hell.'

'You're lying.' Sam spat the words out as his anger built into a rage. 'let me go and I'll show you what I can do.'

'Now, now Sam getting violent is only reinforcing my opinion you are not safe to be allowed to be released from here. The judge in your trial sentenced you to the psych ward because of your violence. Such a shame a good looking young man like yourself.'

'What trial? What are you trying to con me with now?'

'Your trial for culpable driving, you drove head on into that semi-trailer determined to kill yourself along with your father and brother. You received severe head injuries and your family died. There was nothing that could be done for them, all you did was spout off nonsense about demons possessing your father and trying to kill your brother. You killed them Sam and then tried to kill yourself making it look like an accident.'

'That is not what happened.' Sam shook his head but the tiny seed of doubt filtered through his thoughts as he remembered fragments of the accident. 'No, we all survived the accident.'

'No Sam you have been in and out of psychosis since then, for over a year and we have been working on repairing the damage done to your brain.'

'No.'

'Yes Sam I am afraid that it is all true, you had some sort of violent episode, shot your father and tried to eviscerate your brother, then wanting to kill yourself as well you crashed the car the three of you were in, declaring that you were chased by demons wanting to kill you. That you, your dad and brother were all hunters of the supernatural. Sam your father and brother ran a garage and repair shop together and you were in college, Stanford if I remember. You left everyone there and just disappeared after your girlfriend died in a suspicious fire that the police now think was the starting point for your killing spree.'

'No, no none of that happened.' Sam felt the tears roll down his face as he started to piece together the fragments of his memory, 'no don't like you, I want Deanie.'

'Sam?'

'Not Sam ... I'm Sammy and you're a big liar.'

'Stop this nonsense now Sam and admit to me that I am telling you the truth.'

'Go way you make Sammy's head hurt.'

'Stop this now Sam.'

'Don' like you, you're meanie.'

Doctor Mac snarled and strode over to the bench lining the wall closest to the door, 'I am sorry that you are forcing my hand Sam but if we want to get you better then I have no choice.'

'Leave me lone.' Sammy cried watching with wide eyes as the doctor approached with that nasty needle again. 'Nononono.'

'Sorry Sam but you leave me no choice.'

'Sammy be good, Sammy will.'

'Too late Sam, let's see if this serum has the desired effect on you.' Mac smiled maliciously as plunged the needle into Sam's neck not caring how hard he pushed it or how rough he was. All he wanted was to see the results, 'and oh there is one more, a bit of a chaser this time.' He added another vial of a thick fluid and pushed that into Sam's system, instantly he started to convulse as the drugs coursed through him. Forcing a rubber tube into Sam's mouth to prevent him from biting his tongue Mac stood back and watched with delight as Sam's already frail body tried to fight off the attack within.

'Good, good.' Mac hummed as he wrote down copious notes, a cold smile slid across his features as he thought of another addition to Sam's treatment. 'I'll be right back Sammy.' He laughed as he watched the boy's eyes roll backwards and blood dribble from his nose and ears. 'Oh yes this will be perfect.'

---------------------------

Bobby watched Dean as the younger man rewatched the disc replaying the vision of Sam repeatedly. He wanted to go and comfort the normally stoic Winchester brother but this time he couldn't. There was nothing he could do to comfort him, the weight of guilt pulled heavily on Bobby's heart. If he hadn't made Sam and Dean go to hospital Sam would be safe and with his brother.

'Don't beat yourself up about this Bobby, it aint your fault.' Herb said walking up to stand next to his old friend, 'Jim's on his way with the results of Sam's scans, I think even with what happened it was the right decision to get those scans done.'

'What you talking bout old man?'

'Nuff of the old ... aint that much older than you.'

'Yeah, yeah so what we gonna do about him?' Bobby nodded his head towards Dean, 'he's falling apart Herb and I have no idea on how to fix it.'

'They are special boys aint they?' Herb mused, 'remember when they were no bigger than ... even then Dean looked after the baby like he was his own.'

'Yeah I know, a little rocket and he grows up to be a big missile when it comes to his brother.'

'Sounds like Jim.' Herb went to answer the door leaving Bobby alone with Dean, Missouri and Caleb took off together not long after they watched the security discs, no one knew why but they went leaving the grieving Dean and guilt-ridden Bobby alone together.

'Dean get your ass over here,' Bobby growled, 'Jim's here and wants to talk to ya.'

'Whatever.' Dean muttered freezing the image on Sam's face, 'whatever.'

'Hey Dean, Bobby.' Jim came in and immediately sat down at the table waiting for the other to join him, a small pile of folders and large envelopes in front of him.

'What is it Doc?' Dean eased himself into a chair and eyed the pile suspiciously.

'Okay first it is lucky we got the scans done when we did.' Jim started keeping eye contact with Dean, 'now when Sam was hurt originally, you said that he was found badly beaten and unable to remember who he was?'

'Yeah he was in a hospital when I found him.' Dean said a frown forming on his face.

'And that was a few months ago?'

'Yes, yes it was, what's going on Doc?'

'Sam suffered a TBI um a traumatic brain injury with the original assault unfortunately because of his initial coma and amnesia and for other reasons we are not privy to; the seriousness of his injury was not picked up.'

'Whatcha mean the seriousness of his injury wasn't picked up?' Dean demanded a hostile look forming on his face.

'I wish I could tell you more Dean I really do, but whatever happened with Sam when they first found him and got him to a hospital no one did any tests that I can find of his TBI. Now on these scans that we took the other day, you can clearly see these areas ... he has several lesions from a blunt force impact, which also caused Diffuse Brain Injury, DBI, in Sam's case the biggest problem is what is called retro amnesia, a loss of long term memory, the difficulty to recognise people from his past to recognise faces. A lot will have to be relearned over time, some memories he will never regain.'

'So that's why he didn't know Missouri and why he gets confused so much?' Bobby asked the ache in his chest fast turning into a tightness squeezing his breath from him.

'Yes, he also has a touch of anterograde amnesia, which can occur, that's where he has trouble with remembering things after the trauma.'

'What aren't you tell me Doc?'

'There are some signs of ... Sam has post traumatic epilepsy, the initial blow to his head followed by the subsequent abuse he had received ... no one knows for sure exactly what causes it but normally due to a hippocampal atrophy, injury to a part of the brain also can be from tissue scarring. Now normally with a course of anti-convulsants Sam will be fine, the biggest problem he has is ...'

'He's missing.' Dean finished for the doctor, standing up he ran his hands over his face and turned to stare at Sam's image on the television, 'he will get worse without the medication?'

'Most assuredly.'

'This all stems from the fact that they didn't do the proper tests originally?'

'Most of it yes, I am sorry Dean.'

'Why it aint your fault Doc, hell you've been one doctor we can actually trust to tell us the truth and do what you can, no aint your fault. Doc that stuff that he's injecting into Sam can that affect the seizures?'

'I honestly don't know Dean, if I was hard-pressed to give an answer I would say probably yes.'

'But not in a good way?'

'Dean the only other treatment I can suggest is that your brother be admitted to a special unit that can track his seizures and brain activity with special equipment and maybe surgery.'

'Cut my brother's brain open?'

'We haven't gotten to that stage yet, first we have to find ...'

'We found him.' Caleb and Missouri announced together, 'we know which floor they have him on.' Caleb finished.

'What? How?'

'You're looking at the new orderly of Swiss Creek Asylum psych ward.' Caleb smiled widely, 'got me identification and all.'

'The boy does have the power of persuasion I will give him that.' Missouri announced as she sank down onto a chair and waved her hand in front of her face, 'a girl could die of thirst around here.'

'Sorry Missouri,' Herb couldn't hide his smile from the psychic as he went to make a pot of tea.

'Spill Caleb.' Dean ground out easing his own aching body onto the end of his bed, all he wanted to do was to fall asleep and not wake up until Sam was safe in the bed next to him and this was all a terrible nightmare.

'Details are just that Dean, the fact is that I have access ... well actually Bob Wishman has access to Sam's room.'

'Caleb are you sure?' Bobby started to ask but the look Missouri gave him made him cut his question short.

'Sure as I'm standing here, I'll workout a way to get Sam outta there Dean I promise.'

'Dean this could be a break for us.' Jim said interrupting Caleb.

'How doc?' Dean asked wearily he was still trying to assimilate the information about Sam's condition.

'Caleb can get him his anti-convulsant medication.' Jim said, 'it might be a touch dangerous but it is preferable to Sam going without.'

'Sure thing Doc,' Caleb smiled and then went to crouch down in front of Dean, all of his previous swagger gone and he carried a serious look in his eyes. 'Dean say the word and I'll pull out, if you think that it's too dangerous for Sam to have me around...'

'Damn it Cal I wanted it to be me, but ... they don't know you as much as they do me.' Dean gave Caleb a wry grin, 'if you can get Sammy his meds and ...'

'Yeah I know Dean, we'll get him back I promise, as soon as I can get him his meds and get a lay of the setup I'll be back to get ya and we'll spring him together.'

'Doc ... if Sam gets his treatments and stuff?'

'He'll be fine with time Dean, I'm not promising anything in terms of how long but he will be.'

'That's all I need to know doc.' Dean yawned and rubbed his eyes, 'damn I'm tired.'

'Get some rest kiddo.' Caleb said clapping Dean on the shoulder, he stood up and motioned his head for Bobby to follow him outside.

Missouri stood up and went to sit on Sam's empty bed to look at Dean closely, 'give me your hand boy.'

'Missouri.'

'Don't you sass me Dean Winchester, you hear me boy?'

-------------------

'Bobby I'm worried bout Dean, I've never seen him this bad before.'

'I know this has to work Caleb you sure you know whatcha doing?'

'Yeah I do Bobby, I have to ... they hurt Sam on my watch and that aint gonna happen again.'

'Dammit you idgit don't you go doin something stupid.'

'Aw ya do love me.' Caleb grinned running for his car before Bobby could chase after him. Bobby snarled and went to follow him when he felt a tight pain in his chest, his breathing hitched and sweat poured out of him, a ringing sound in his ears made him shake his head as the dots became blurs. 'Dammit what now.'

Caleb glanced at where Bobby still stood, frowning he turned his car off and got out when he saw Bobby's knees buckle. 'Bobby!' He managed to catch him before he collided with the ground. 'Damn Bobby don't you dare.' Caleb checked Bobby's pulse and let his breath go, 'Doc ... Doctor Jim get out here now!'

tbc

Author's Note: Personal disclaimer: I do not have any medical training, just spent ages researching on the Internet and drawing on my own experiences with a Closed Head Injury although mine was a mild injury and not as severe as Sam's. So anyhoo just wanted to let you know just in case.


	16. Chapter 16

**Voice of Reason**

**Sequel to Who Am I?**

**Disclaimer:** Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

**Warnings:** Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

**Note: **I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

**Author's Note:** I'm back!! Had to take a required internet break while I changed providers but now am back so be warned!!! Mmmwhahahaha.

**Spoilers**: for season 2 if you are interested.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Sam opened his eyes and stared around the whitewashed room, no colour, no furniture, nothing. Just a bed and a bench to the side. Sighing he tried to move his hand to itch his nose when he realised that he was still restrained. Although the soft restraints were gone and replaced by hard, leather ones.

Sighing again, he twitched his nose and started to giggle when the itch turned into a tickle. He wanted to remember what happened, how he got there and why he was tied to his bed but it was all jumbled. Nothing made sense to him, humming softly he started to count the holes in the sound-proofed ceiling, the tune soft and familiar someone he knew used to sing it.

The door opened slowly but Sam took no notice he continued to count the holes frowning when he lost his place and had to start again.

'Sammy?' Caleb crept into the room and went to the patient strapped to the bed. 'Hey Sammy?'

'No, no gotta start again.' Sam mumbled glaring at the new arrival, 'made me lose my place.'

'Sam, hey look at me.'

Sam started silently count the holes his eyes moving rapidly from side to side as he continued his self-appointed task. Unconsciously he started to hum the song again forgetting that there was someone standing next to him.

Scrubbing his hand over his face, Caleb took a deep breath and pulled the small syringe from his pocket, 'got some medicine to make you better Sammy, no more convulsions.' He said injecting it directly into Sam's arm, glancing over his shoulder Caleb made sure that no one was around before he leant over Sam making the younger man look at him with an annoyed glare.

'Made me lose my place.' Sam pouted trying to return to his counting.

'Sammy do you know me?' Caleb asked touching Sam's cheek gently.

'Uhhuh.' Came the distracted reply.

'What's my name?'

'Cal ... silly.'

'What's your name?' Caleb asked frowning at the almost vacant look on Sam's face.

Sam turned his head slightly so he could see Caleb properly, 'not supposed to talk to strangers.'

'Why? You know me.'

'Make Sammy hurt.' Sam said, 'my nose itchy.'

'Why don't you?' Caleb started to ask him when he stopped and stared at the hard restraints cutting into Sam's skin. 'Ah Sammy.'

'Sammy been bad.' Sam tried to shrug but he couldn't move.

Caleb chewed his lower lip, running a hand through Sam's hair he smiled down at the boy, 'you be a brave boy for Caleb?'

'Uhhuh, Cal?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Bad man said my fault daddy and Dean died ... in acc'dent.'

'Ah Sammy they ... Dean's not dead, he didn't die Sammy.'

'No ... no Doctor Mac said it's my fault an' that's why I'm here.' Sam looked up at Caleb tears shining in his eyes, 'gotta be punished for killing Dad and Dean, they said it was coz I'm sick in the head and a danger.'

'Sam?'

'Don't come back Cal I belong here.' Sam blinked back the tears and went back to counting the holes.

Caleb swore under his breath, pretended to do his job writing up Sam's vitals and then glanced at his young friend once more. Chills ran down his spine as he took in Sam's emaciated appearance and the strange bruises around the edges of his mouth.

'Hey new guy whatcha doin in here with da freak?' Thomas Green, the other orderly on duty for the evening came into the room and lounged against the door frame.

'Just doing his obs, what happened to him?' Caleb asked swallowing hard on the rising bile.

'Doc gave him the 'special treatment,' ' Green made air quotation marks for special treatment., 'the serum works better than shock.'

'Serum? That's new to me, I'm used to the shock'n'rock technique.'

'Ha shock'n'rock I like that.' Green laughed, 'make sure that you check his pee output bag, all new guys get that job.'

'Gee great that's what I really want to know.' Caleb chuckled, 'what happened to his soft restraints?'

'Freak's stronger than he looks.' Green shrugged, 'I'll finish up the other side an' then we can go play some pool or something for the rest of the shift.'

'Do they get anything to help em sleep?' Caleb glanced at Sam's wide-eyed stare, 'he's wide awake.'

'Dude he's like that ... ever since he came in they aint been able to do much with him. Unless he starts freaking out and cries like a baby an' then they dose him up. He's scheduled for another serum treatment tomorrow that should zombie him out properly.'

'So what did the kid do? I mean he seems pretty harmless.'

'According to the doc he lost it an' thought that demons were after his family, offed his old man and brother an' then tried to kill himself in a car accident with the poor stiffs in the car with him. Got cut up pretty bad but he survived.' Thomas shrugged and headed out to finish his assigned duties, 'catch ya in the rec room newbie.'

Caleb finished his jobs and made sure Sam was comfortable as he could without making it looking too suspicious.

'Caleb? What you? Dean?' Sam blinked and stared at Caleb with clear eyes and an air of lucidity.

'Sam?'

'Where's Dean?' Sam blinked, 'where am I?'

'Oh shit Sam, doc Mac got ya, we're gonna get you outta here kid you just have to hang on.'

'Dean is he?'

'No, no Sam no Dean's not dead they are just trying to confuse you.'

'Why?'

'Not sure but just stay cool and let little Sammy out to play to keep em on their toes.' Cal suggested hating himself for having to do so, knowing how it affects Sam.

'Tired Cal,' Sam sighed tears running freely down his face, 'don't think I can...'

'Dude listen to me just hang in there until Dean and me can get you outta here.' Caleb bit back his own tears when he saw the broken look on Sam's face, 'promise me dude.'

'Promise.' Sam nodded his head and then turned to stare at the wall, 'Sammy tired.'

'Sleep well Sammy, be a good boy and Cal will see ya in the morning.'

'Owkay, Cal?'

'Yeah little dude.'

'Sammy want De, don' like it here.'

'I know but you gotta be good and keep a secret for Cal.'

'Can't do this Caleb.' Sam shook his head and started to weep softly, 'can't ... too tired.'

'Ah Sam dude I'm sorry.' Caleb said feeling way out of his own depth, 'sleep tight kiddo and tomorrow I'll be back with Dean.'

But lost in his own thoughts and fears Sam made no sign of hearing Caleb or understanding what he said. Turning the lights off Caleb locked the door behind him and went to find the rec room. This was going to be one very long night.

-----------

Bobby sat up in the hospital bed staring savagely at Jim, a heart monitor beeped, and the automatic blood pressure went off with startling regularity. His temper showing in the readings.

'Bobby you are going to have to calm down.' Jim counselled him for the tenth time in as many minutes.

'I aint gonna do anything until you let me outta here so I can go help my boys.'

'Your boys?' Jim's eyebrow arched in curiosity at Bobby's phrasing.

'Don't you start Jim you know damn well what I mean, those two eedjits are the closest ... ah damn it just let me outta here.'

'Well if the latest round of tests come back alright then we will see about getting you released.'

'The boys need me Jim.'

'They also need you to be well enough to help them Bobby and at the moment that takes precedence.'

'Ah to hell with this.' Bobby sat up and went to pull the leads and patches from his chest. Horrified at what his patient intended on doing Jim put a restraining hand on his friend's and made him look up.

'Damn it Robert Singer listen to me how are you going to look after your boys if you, if you have another attack? The next one could kill you.'

'Get me outta here Jim please.' For a second the gruff hunter exterior disappeared and Jim saw a glimpse of the vulnerable man beneath it then the mask slid back into place and the eyes hardened again. Jim could clearly see who was an early influence on young Dean's life.

'Sit back ... ah no protests, sit back let the medicine work and wait for the test results if they are favourable I will personally drive you back to Herb's but if they are still showing ... you stay for more tests and wait until you are stabilised. It is the only way I am agreeing to this.'

'Damn doctors, think they're freaking Gods.' Bobby mumbled flopping back onto his pillows and resumed his silent glaring.

Jim shook his head and let out a sigh of relief, he had won round one but deep down he had the feeling that he was going to lose the rest.

------------------------

Dean paced the small area around the twin beds unable to sleep since Sammy disappeared, nibbling on the quicks of his fingernails without realising he was channelling one of Sam's bad habits.

Finally, the door opened and a haggard looking Caleb walked in without a word he went to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee and sat down heavily on the wooden chair, looking up at Dean's expectant stare he cringed and wanted to leave and not look back.

'Cal?'

'He's alive Dean.'

'And?'

'We have to get him out of there, I dunno what that maniac is doing to Sam but he's killing him, killing his mind.' Once Caleb started speaking, the words tumbled out in a torrent of horror and anger. 'I managed to speak to him, but he's confused they're trying to make him believe that both you and your Dad died and it was his fault, that Sam ... that Sam was delusional thinking demons were out to get you all, that he killed both of you and then with you in the car tried to kill himself.'

'No, no, no.' Dean furiously span around and drove his fist into the wall, his fury numbing the sudden surge of pain.

'Dean, he waivers between little Sammy and himself, he was lucid for a few minutes but ...'

'But what?'

'He's scheduled for another ... treatment with this serum today.' Caleb finished as he examined Dean's shredded knuckles, 'damn it Dean why didn't you use your head it's harder.'

'Funny Caleb now what else?'

'He, ah has these bruises around his mouth like they umm, you know when the do electric shock treatment they put that rubber bar in the patient's mouth so they don't bite their tongue or anything else?'

'Yeah ... ah no not Sammy?'

'No not electric shock but this serum they inject him with. Dunno what it is but from what I can gather, they are trying to convince Sam that he is psychotic, that he deliberately killed you and John and ... then once he is...' Caleb stopped speaking and stared at Dean for a few seconds before he finished hoping that he used the right words. 'Once they thing that he is pliable enough they will start to reprogram him.'

'A perfect soldier.' Dean muttered, 'damn Caleb we've been played with all along.'

'I don't follow.'

'The demon originally kidnapping Sam, his memory loss all of it ... it's because they want to mould him into the perfect soldier, cold, uncaring and a killing machine.'

'With psychic abilities?'

'Yeah Caleb, they will control his abilities, everything. We've been played with all along that yellow-eyed bastard has Sam right where he wants him.'

---------------------

_Pain wracked his body but his fear and worry for his family dulled it as he drove the sleek black car at neck-breaking speeds through the darkness of the night. A glance in the rear vision mirror confirmed his need for speed. His brother, his best friend sat propped against the side door, blood everywhere. The smell choking, cloying, sickening sweet and bitter at the sametime. His father next to him, savage, angry and beaten, 'why didn't you kill it?'_

_'We still have the colt we still have one bullet ...' his own voice sounds alien to him when he feels more than sees the demonic menace racing towards them. Ripping of metal, burning rubber and the sound of bones crunching on bones filled the air. 'No, no this isn't supposed to happen, not meant to end like this.' Was his last lingering thought. Bright lights burst in his brain and the beckoning call of the abyss was welcoming. No more pain, no more hunting, no more arguing. Just peace and everlasting blackness. But Dean needed him, Dad needed him. He had to stay, the warmth faded, the darkness became cold, uninviting and mocked him. It sent him back to awareness before he was ready, gasping for air through abused lungs, he felt the coldness of the colt fitted snugly in his fingers, how did he manage to get that?_

_The silence invaded his senses but he couldn't let go, something was coming, he had to protect Dad and Dean it was his turn to protect them. 'Get back or I will kill you I swear to God.'_

_'You won't, you're saving that bullet for someone else.' The cold voice came from the trucker's mouth, but the black eyes were alien and all too familiar to him._

_He cocked the gun and aimed it higher, 'you want to make a bet?' The question came unbidden, the overriding need to protect Dean and their Dad drowned anything else._

_The man collapsed black putrid smoke filled the air, choking them with sulphuric fumes. He sat back dazed and finally feeling the pain. 'Dad? __Dad__?' No answer the fear turning into terror, 'Dean?' Nothing what is happening? This can't be happening. 'Dean!'_

'Dad! Dean!' Sam's screams echoed down the empty corridor, his terror-fuelled cries falling only on the ears who found them to be music. A symphony of pain and fear.

A cold smile formed as he picked up the instrument of his patient's downfall and no one will be there to stop it this time.

Moving through the early morning mutterings of life his stride filled with purpose he greeted the odd staff member with a curt nod of his head, too important to waste breath on the lower ranks. He had a mission to complete and once done he will be rewarded handsomely and that made him almost preen with delight.

Barely able to contain his excitement his stride turned into a fast jog, the last corridor and there he would find his prized patient.

'Good morning Samuel how are we this morning?' He asked brightly staring down at the young man writhing beneath his restraints, eyes clenched tightly, a sheen of sweat covering his face and chest. 'Hmm still dreaming I see.'

'Dad? Dean?' Sam's voice shook with panic. 'No, no, no.'

'Wake up Samuel it's time to take your medicine like a good boy.' The doctor slapped Sam's cheek hard enough to snap his head to the side, glassy green eyes tried to focus on the cause of his sudden pain, but all he could see was the bloodied bodies of his family. 'I said wake up.' Another slap brought him back to his present and he cringed inwardly.

'Who? Where?' Sam licked his dry lips and sought out the familiar face of Caleb, but no one was there to help him, it was all a dream. 'Sammy thirsty.'

'Ah hello Sammy do you remember me?'

'Mean man, not Sammy's doctor.' Sammy pouted, 'don' like you.'

'Too bad Sammy, now is Sam there I want to talk to him.'

'No, no, no.' Sammy shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, 'Sam gone way.'

'Where's he gone?'

'Far way so you don' hurt 'im anymore.' Sammy opened his eyes and started to giggle, 'he gone from you.'

The slap came fast and Sammy started to sob, his face stinging and he could taste the blood again, 'do you want me to hurt you again?'

'No, please Sammy be good.' Sammy whimpered hiccuping back his tears.

Angry at not being able to access Sam's mind for now, Doctor Mac decided to go ahead with the serum on Sammy, positive that the young man was bluffing.

Sammy's eyes widened when he saw the man pick up the rubber gag, he clamped his mouth shut but was forced to open it again when the doctor pinched his nose shut. As soon as he opened it to gasp in air the gag was forced past his lips and over his tongue. Struggling he started to sob again when he saw the needle, panicking he wanted it to stop. The serum burnt as it entered his blood stream, his body arching and convulsing trying to prevent it from poisoning him. A white haze filled his mind and he could finally move.

--------------

Caleb watched Dean barely contain himself on the way to the institute. Nothing he could say or do was going to stop Dean from this berserker rescue attempt so he agreed to go with him, knowing that he would be able to find Sam easier and keep Dean alive a little longer.

'We should wait until we have backup Dean.' Caleb said taking his eye off the road for a moment, 'I can turn back and ready the troupes.'

'I don't care what you do Caleb I am going to get Sam now.' Dean replied 'so drive or pull over and get out so I can.'

'Oh yeah right so I am going to let you drive with your hand like that!' Caleb snarked back as he sped along the road in the impala. 'Anyway you shouldn't even be out of bed.'

'Damn it Cal ... just drive.'

They came to a stop in the employee's carpark still early enough in the morning for it to be nearly deserted. 'The new shift starts in half an hour.' Caleb said as he led Dean to the staff entrance. 'Stay quiet and follow me.'

Dean shot him a glare, not used having no control it was eating him up but he focused on Sam and nodded his head in agreement.

With his heart thudding Caleb led Dean into the elevator and up to the floor where Sam's room was the night before, just as they stepped out of the lift Caleb came face to face with Thomas Green.

'Whatcha doin' back already newbie?'

'Friend of mine wants to apply for a job as a tech for Doctor Mac, just taking him to his office.' Caleb lied easily, 'Thomas this is Dean, Dean meet Thomas Green easiest mark in pool.'

'Ha you wish kid, good luck with the Mac he's in a good mood today.' Green waved them off eager to finish his double shift and to go home.

Caleb waited until Green disappeared behind the lift doors and then motioned for Dean to follow, stealthily they moved down the corridor lined with locked doors, until they came to the locked end containing Sam's room.

'You ready for this dude?' Caleb turned and looked at his friend, noting the strained paleness and red-rimmed eyes.

'Let's get in there.' Dean ground out hoarsely, when they heard Sam's pained screams breaking into a run they skidded to a stop and stared disbelievingly into the once locked room.

Sam sat huddled in a corner, his face covered with mottled bruises and cuts had blood running freely from his nose and from a split on his bottom lip. He had his long arms wrapped around his knees hugging them tight to his chest as he rocked back banging his head against the wall.

The body of Doctor Mac lay directly in front of the traumatised young man, one hand stretched out to him, the head cocked awkwardly to one side and the eyes open and fixed. Life no matter if it was good or evil, life didn't exist in the body anymore.

Six large syringes protruded from the back, all empty green-tinged blood dried around the entry points.

'Sammy?' Dean whispered as he picked his way through the debris of the room, shattered glass littered the floor, the bed upturned and twisted looked more like a car wreck than a hospital bed. 'Sammy can you look at me?'

'No, no, Deanie dead, Sammy killed Deanie.' Sammy repeated the litany of self-loathing and abuse, 'dumb Sammy, bad Sammy.'

'Sammy look at me, it's Deanie you didn't kill me.' Dean bit back the urge to smash into the doctor's corpse, then to resurrect it so he could bash him to death, Sammy needed him. Reaching out he touched Sammy's cheek cupping it gently he rubbed away the tears with the pad of his thumb. 'Sammy, little dude it's me your Deanie.'

'Deanie dead?' Sammy stopped rocking and stared at Dean, he felt the hand on his face but it was just a trick.

'No Sammy no trick.' Dean said as though he could read Sammy's thoughts, 'see Caleb brought me to get you out of here, just like he said he would.'

'Cal? You came back?' Sammy blinked up at his friend. 'I tried to hang on.'

'You did dude, you really did ... ready to come home?'

'Sammy can't, gotta stay here, bad, bad Sammy.'

'No Sammy, they lied to you.'

'Dean we have to get out of here.' Caleb said as he checked the doctor, 'security will be up here soon.'

'Yeah they have this monitored don't they.' Dean snarled pulling out his gun he aimed it at the camera tracking them and shot it out.

'So cool dude way to bring no attention to us.' Caleb ran to the door and peered out, 'okay I'll be right back can you manage with Sammy?'

The look on Dean's face answered the question far more eloquently than words ever could and Caleb ducked out of the room chuckling softly.

Dean sighed and turned his attention back to Sam who sat there calmly watching him for his cues to act, this is what he hated the most, the submissive Sam, quiet and compliant with every direction. 'Can you get up for me Sammy?'

'Dean?' The whisper almost went unheard by Dean but he stopped and stared at Sam searching the big green eyes locked on him.

'Sammy you in there?'

'Not dead?'

'No bud not dead not today anyway.'

'Dean.' Sam's eyes shone with tears and a look of recognition, Dean seized this brief window of lucidity and helped Sam to his feet, 'you're alive.'

'Yeah dude in the flesh but if we don't get going...'

'Can't Dean ...'

'Why ... Sam look at me.'

'If I leave they're gonna hurt ... tired Deanie.' Sammy yawned and dropped his chin, 'so tired.'

'Sh, it's okay Sammy, it's all okay.' Dean hugged his 'big' little brother his gaze straying to the door as Caleb pushed a wheelchair in, making Dean realise that it was just seconds with Sam now.

Guiding his brother to the chair Dean crouched down beside him and made Sammy look at him, 'okay Sammy, I'm going to need you to be a big boy.'

'Okkies Deanie.' Sammy stifled another yawn. 'Hey Cal.'

'Hey Sammy, you gotta listen to your brother now.' Caleb smiled directing Sammy's attention back to Dean.

'Sammy we're gonna go for a little trip but I need you to be very quiet and not to say anything to anyone can you do that for me?'

'Yeppers,' Sammy said and then frowned, 'but what bout you and Cal?'

'Until I tell you to, you can't even talk to us but it won't be for long okay then we'll be in the impala.'

'Ooohh the impala.' Sammy's smile lit up, 'I can be quiet Deanie.'

'Okay that's great Sammy, now one more thing.' Dean took a deep breath and hated what he had to do next.

Caleb took a deep breath and pushed the wheelchair ahead of him, Sammy slumped down in the seat apparently docile but Cal could see the fine tremors passing through his bulk. Dean moved quietly behind them blending into the shadows watching their backs. The look in Sam's eyes, the betrayal he will never forget.

Stopping at the lifts Caleb took a deep breath and punched the button, pushing the chair in he held the open button long enough for Dean to slide into the lift. They rode down to the ground level in silence knowing that this was the most dangerous part of the escape. Sirens sounded in the background as the shift change finished, Doctor Mac's body found and the security camera damaged beyond repair. Now they had to move fast and without hesitation.

Dean stepped out first and made his way to the guard's station, silently taking them out with little worry, confiscating their weapons Dean quickly turned off all of the monitors and cameras before unlocking the gates.

Caleb kept pushing Sam's chair towards the impala when the youngest Winchester started to whimper and rock his head, the further away from the institute they got the louder Sam's cries became.

As they bundled Sam into the passenger seat of the impala he looked up and met Dean's stare, 'Dean?' He whispered wanting to reach out to touch his dead brother. Quickly Dean undid the lose restraints around Sam's wrists and ankles and hugged his brother tightly. At first, he felt Sam stiffen but then he melted into the hug, his cries slowly subsiding.

'Ah guys as much as I love reunions we have to get going.' Caleb said as he slid in behind the wheel forcing Dean to slide in next to Sam on the bench seat.

Revving the engine Caleb put the car into reverse and skidded around burning rubber as the guards spilled from the grounds of the institute and started to fire their weapons at the speeding car.

Righting the heavy vehicle Caleb pushed his foot down on the accelerator, Sammy's keening grew louder again as he clutched his brother's hand, 'hurts Deanie, Sammy's head hurts.'

'Sh little bro it's okay, it's all going to be okay.' Dean put his arms around Sam's shaking shoulders and pulled him close, hugging him like he was three years old again.

'Dean they let us go.'

'Yeah I know but for now, all I care about is Sam.' Dean ground out holding his trembling brother's body close to his, he felt the familiar tug of Sam's hand on the back of his shirt.

'Where to?'

'Herb's for now, we have to let them know what happened and I want Doctor Jim to look at Sammy.'

'D-doctor Jim?' Sammy's head lifted up a little and he sniffled, 'Sammy see Doctor Jim?'

'Yeah Sammy, doctor Jim and Bobby, and Missouri and Herb ...'

Sammy yelped in delight and hugged Dean, 'Deanie not dead.'

'No but he will be if you don't loosen your grip.' Dean laughed feeling the tension leave just a little room for him to relax.

'Sammy so sowree Deanie.'

'Why little dude?'

'Sammy let bad man hurt Deanie and t-take Sammy.'

'Sammy, hey look at me, none of this is your fault.' Dean said cupping Sam's face in his hand, 'the bad man hurt you and me but Sammy, it's not your fault if anything it was my fault.'

'Deanie?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'They said that they'll hurt little girl if I go away.' Sammy said, 'they hurt her now, Sammy feels it in here.' Sammy punched the side of his head. 'Hurts Deanie.'

'Sh Sammy it's gonna be okay, I promise.'

'Promise?' Sammy stopped hitting his head and stared at his brother with large hope-filled eyes.

'Yeah, I promise Sammy.' Dean choked out unable to take the puppy look any longer, he glanced at Caleb over Sam's shoulder, when he felt Sam snuggle down and fall asleep against his chest, cradled safely in his brother's arms.

'Dean?'

'What else was I to say Caleb? Just tell me what was I meant to say?'

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Voice of Reason **

**Sequel to Who Am I?**

**Disclaimer:** Sigh nope not putting claim on the boys or anything pertaining to Supernatural since we have our show for another season and we want the powers-that-be to keep our show on air as long as possible!

**Warnings:** Rated for violence and sensitive issues, so if you get squeamy please don't come running to me, you have been warned!

**Note:** I am picking this story up not far from where I ended Who Am I? So if you haven't read that I suggest that you do first and then come back here for the rest...

* * *

Chapter 17

Caleb swore as he swerved to miss the rear end of a car suddenly appearing in front of him. 'Damn it Dean hang on to him.' With a quick glance in the side mirrors Caleb slammed his foot on the brake, wrenched the wheel expertly spinning the car around kicking up as much dust and stones as he could to create a small 'smoke-screen'.

'Caleb two more.' Dean reported clinging tightly to Sam, he swivelled around to watch out the back, 'one's dropping back but the other is speeding up.'

'Hang on.' Caleb pressed his foot on the accelerator watching as the speedo inched higher and then without warning skidded and shot down a dirt road on the left, coming to an abrupt halt he did a three point turn and waited with the engine revving and purring under his touch.

'Caleb remember my baby your life.' Dean warned but couldn't help feel the thrill of a true car chase. Sammy mewled softly and buried his head against his brother, scared at what was happening around him.

'Here they come.' Caleb grinned and unconsciously tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Silence reigned in the impala as they watched the dark sedan come speeding towards them. Caleb revved the car and licked his lips, his heart pounding against his chest, he knew if he damaged Sam or the impala or God forbid both then his life well it would be forfeited, in fact forfeited several times over.

'Let's see just how chicken these idiots are.' Caleb whooped and grinned, revving the car even more he threw it into gear and took off in a cloud of dust, pressing his foot down with an even pressure onto the accelerator he drove directly at the approaching car.

Sam's keening became louder as the car sped towards a head-on-collision, making Dean cradle him closer to his chest, holding his hand over Sam's ear, he tried to keep him calm but his efforts had little or no effect on Sammy.

At the last possible moment, the oncoming car swerved and crashed into a tree on the side of the road, coming to a stop with a plume of smoke and debris smothering it.

Caleb let out his breath, chuckled nervously and sped off without looking back, sliding around the next corner he checked for any other cars, worried about the one that pulled back.

'Time to go home guys.' He finally said slowing down to a safer speed.

'Where's the other car Cal?' Dean asked peering around nervously, he hated feeling so out of control, the sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach churned relentlessly.

'Dunno but I think we're right to head back to Herb's now,' Caleb said, 'but might take a detour.'

Half an hour later they pulled up outside the cabin and Caleb and Dean stared at each other over their precious cargo, 'we did it Dean.' Caleb breathed, 'we got Sammy back.'

'Yeah we did, so why does it all feel so screwed?' Dean asked as he started to rouse Sammy. 'Hey little dude we're back you with me?'

'Dean?' Sam blinked owlishly at Dean, 'what happened?'

'Sam?' Dean grinned and cupped Sam's face in his hands, 'it's you?'

'G-guess, where?'

'Back at Herb's cabins.' Dean slid out of the car and helped his brother, staggering Sam's fingers tightened to a white-knuckle grip on Dean's arm as the world tilted and span around him in a breakneck speed. 'Whoa Sam take it easy dude.'

'D-Dean? S-Sorry.' Sam mumbled shaking his head to get rid of the fogginess plaguing him. 'T-Tired.'

'Let's get you inside.' Dean's seemingly permanent frown deepened at Sam's stuttering, his internal worry metre rushed towards exploding the mercury. 'Caleb can you go and see where the Doc is?'

'Sure thing, you guys be okay?'

'Yeah, yeah we'll be fine.' Dean guided his dazed brother into the cabin and sat him down on the edge of the closest bed. 'Sam?'

'D-Dean? N-not d-d-dead?'

'No Sam I'm not, that doctor Mac he tried to make you believe it but it was all lies.'

'D-Demons l-lie?'

'Damn straight they do ... how about we get you into bed huh?'

'D-D-Dean?'

'Yeah dude?'

'I-I-I t-tried t-t-to hang on.'

'You did Sammy, you did hang on for me.'

'Th-they h-hurt m-me b-b-but I-I hung o-on.'

'Sammy?' Dean dropped to his knees in front of his brother and caught his chin, making him focus on him, 'Sam look at me.'

'I-I t-t-tried D-Dean ... pl-please d-d-d-don't hate m-me.'

'Hey Sam ... Sam look at me,' Dean said a little more forcefully than he intended, 'I can never hate you.'

'Y-you d-d-died an-and I – I couldn't ... my fault.'

'Sammy sh, please don't cry dude, you didn't do anything wrong and that Doctor and the demons they hurt you and lied to you. I didn't die in the accident, please Sam I can't lose you.'

'Wh-why?' Sam sniffed and stared at his brother with a watery gaze, 'Deanie?'

'If you give up on me and think that I'm dead, then I have lost you Sam.'

'No, no ... b-but the D-Doctor s-said ...'

'He was an evil man Sam, he gave you drugs and hurt you to make you confused that's all.'

'Dean? Dude?' Sam blinked and let his gaze leave his brother's face for a few seconds as he took in their surroundings. Realising for the first time since they arrived where they were. 'Herb's c-c-cabin?'

'That's right Sam, Caleb and me we got you outta that place.'

'D-Doctor M-Mac?'

'He ah ... won't hurt you anymore Sammy.'

'D-Deanie?'

'Yeah dude?' Dean asked biting the inside of his cheek, he hurt and was tired and Sam's confusion weighed heavily on his mind, the worry and anxiety driving him further into despair.

'We home?'

'Yeah Sammy we're home.'

'G-Good.' Sam nodded and gave Dean a tremulous grin, 't-tired D-Deanie.'

'Lie down Sammy and have a sleep until Doctor Jim gets here.' Dean pulled the blankets back and helped ease his brother beneath them, sitting on the edge of the bed Dean stared down at his brother's pale and bruised face, his stomach clenching so violently he thought he was going to throw up there and then. 'I'm gonna stay right here with you.'

Sam nodded his head sleepily as he let his eyes drift shut, 'd-don't l-leave me.'

'Not going anywhere Sammy I promise.'

An hour later as both boys dozed, Caleb let himself in with Jim and Herb in tow, Missouri stayed at the hospital keeping a very agitated Bobby company, while Jim checked Sam out.

'Huh who?' Dean blinked and stared up at the new arrivals, 'what?'

'It's alright Dean just us.' Caleb couldn't help but grin as he stared down at a sleep-tousled Dean, looking more like a young boy than a grown man. 'how is he?'

'Confused, he's stuttering and drifts from one thing to another, Doc I ...'

'Let me have a look and then we'll talk Dean,' Jim patted the younger man's arm and then sat down on the edge of the bed, 'Sam hey you in there?'

'D-Doctor J-Jim?' Sam mumbled blinking furiously as he tried to pull himself awake, man he was so tired.

'That's right, can I take a look at you?'

'D-Dean?'

'Right here dude, not going anywhere.' Dean said appearing on the other side of the bed, 'Caleb and Herb are here too.'

'K-Kay,' Sam nodded scrubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, 'g-got head-headache.'

'Sam can you look at me please?' Jim asked pulling a small penlight from his bag, 'that's it just look straight at me.' He said softly flickering the light across Sam's eyes, 'good, good now can you look at Dean but just move your eyes ... that's it well done Sam.'

'D-Doc ... no-no, no m-more d-doctors.' Sam cried out suddenly violently thrashing against Jim, 'n-n-no p-please.'

'Sh Sammy, please calm down.' Dean managed to grab Sam's flailing hands and pulled him tight against him, 'it's okay Sam just breathe deep and calm down.'

'Pl-please d-d-don't ... b-be g-good pr-promise.'

'Hey Sammy it's going to be alright you don't have to promise anymore.' Dean hugged his brother tightly not caring that his own tears were falling and mingling with Sam's.

'Sam please I won't hurt you, I just want to make sure that you're okay.' Jim said his own voice hitching at the boy's obvious distress.

'D-D-Doc Jim?'

'There you are, okay Sam can you tell me where it hurts the most?'

'M-my head an-and here.' Sam pointed to his throat, 'an-and m-my m-mouth f-feels f-f-funny.'

'Doc, they ah used a rubber gag when they gave him the serum.' Caleb said as he watched the doctor examine Sam. 'they beat him up a few times and injected him in either the neck or the arm.'

'Thanks Caleb, now Sam can you tell me if you have any pain here?' Jim pressed Sam's abdomen gingerly keeping his eyes fixed on Sam's face gauging any reactions, 'what about here?' He meticulously moved in a seemingly haphazard pattern, noting when Sam winced or shuddered with the pain. Just then, when he pressed over one of Sam's kidneys, his young patient jumped and cried out in pain, all colour drained from his already pale face.

'Damn it, Caleb did you see his notes or anything that might have indicated kidney damage?'

'No, no but ... damn it I was told to keep an eye on his urine output it had something to do with the serum.'

'Shit.' The doctor cussed as he covered Sam up with a blanket and tried to give him an encouraging smile. 'Sorry Sam.'

'Why? Wh-what's wr-wrong D-doc?' Sam felt his breathing quickening as the panic rose, 'D-Dean?'

'What's wrong Doc?' Dean asked glancing down at Sam's terror filled face.

'We need to get a scan of Sam's kidneys, now before you get all twisted up I know no more hospitals but ... if Sam's kidneys are starting to fail...'

'How the fuck do we do this?' Dean asked his frustration getting the better of him, 'someone please tell me what to do coz I don't know anymore.'

'D-Dean.' Sam's quiet voice shattered the sudden silence.

'Sam?' Dean blinked and tried to focus on his brother.

'W-what if-if we g-go an-and s-see B-Bobby an ...' Sam struggled to get the words out, he could feel little Sammy clambering wanting to come out and to be with Dean. Sam was just so tired but he knew that if he gave in then he may never make it back and little Sammy would stay out.

'Get the scan done, see Bobby and bring him back?' Dean looked up at Jim, 'can we do it at night when there's hardly anyone around?'

'I can arrange something.' Jim said his relief sounding in his voice, 'good idea Sam.'

'Th-thanks.' Sam huffed out the words and then finally let himself fall asleep, his fingers twisted around Dean's, making sure that his brother was not leaving him.

----------------

Bobby sat up and stared at the fragile young man propped up in the wheelchair, a look of utter disbelief on his face, 'Sam?'

'G-Good t-to s-see you t-too B-Bobby.' Sam smiled holding a shaking hand out to his friend. 'You o-okay?'

'Yeah I'm better now.' Bobby said his voice gruff but filled with relief.

'Very good, okay Sam you and Dean are going to come with me to get your scan and then you can come back to visit Bobby.'

'Okay ... th-thanks d-doc.' Sam nodded and gave Bobby another small smile, 'b-back s-soon.'

Bobby watched the men leave and then he turned his attention to Missouri and then to Caleb, 'get my clothes Caleb now.'

'Bobby?'

'I aint stayin' in here moment longer than I have-ta. That boy is hurtin' and I aint doin' him any good lyin' round here.'

'Robert Singer.' Missouri tried to chide him.

'Now don' you go sassin' me Missouri, I aint stayin' an' that's a fact.' Bobby pulled the leads and patches off and went to get out of bed, 'where's me clothes Caleb?'

'Right here Bobby but you ...' Caleb stopped mid-sentence and put his hands up in surrender when he saw the look on Bobby's face. By the time Dean and Sam came back Bobby was fully dressed, packed and signing the AMA forms.

'Bobby?' Dean looked at his friend and mentor with a quizzical look on his face, and then he huffed a sigh of relief and smiled broadly, 'good to see you up Bobby.'

'Yeah, yeah aint got time for chick flick stuff let's get outta here.'

----------------

Sam sat silently next to Dean nibbling on a toasted sandwich, he listened as the others talked and planned but his heart and mind were not in it. He studied the bread for a few minutes, noting the texture and slightly overdone edges before he took another tiny bite and tried to chew it.

He knew that Dean watched him closely so he made it looked like he was eating more than he was, he didn't want to eat but it made Dean happy. Every chance he got he touched his brother, a light brush of fingertip on an arm or leg, fingers twisted in his shirt or just a nudge with his knee, he managed to constantly remind himself that Dean was sitting right next to him.

He let his attention wander as he became bored and started to fidget, he tried to remember everything but it made his head hurt, he wanted to be good for Dean but it was hard sitting so still. He wanted to sleep but as soon as he did, the nightmares assaulted him.

'Sammy you okay?' Dean finally asked breaking the boredom spell.

'M-might d-do s-some s-stuff on, on l-laptop.' Sam spoke quietly just loud enough for Dean to hear.

'It's okay Sammy I'll be right here.' Dean said nodding at Sam, he helped him set the computer up on his bed and made his brother comfortable before rejoining the others seated around the corner. 'So what are we going to do?'

'Dean?' Bobby blinked and stared at his young friend 'what the freaking hell you talking about boy?'

'We can't just sit here with our thumbs up our asses Bobby, he knows he's got us beaten and it aint gonna take long before he ... I can't afford to lose Sam again, I won't. We strike before he does.'

'And where do you propose to strike?' Bobby asked hating having to be the voice of reason.

'I-I dunno but we have to do something Bobby.'

'True, but ... Sam?'

Sam stared blankly at the computer screen, images flashed on it but he ignored them or didn't see them, his breathing hitched as the images in his mind played out in stark technicolour. Wincing with the sudden pain in his head Sam started to keen as he rocked himself cradling his aching head. Toppling sideways, he collapsed into Dean's arms, his older brother just managing to catch him before he hit the floor.

'V-vision.' Sam whispered, 'hurts Dean.'

'Sh, it's okay little bro, it's gonna be okay.'

'D-Demon ... he – he hurt S-Susie.' Sam forced the words out, 'has, has her in ... in argh ... he's in ... b-big b-building.'

'Sammy?'

'He-here ... n-near he-here.' Sam blinked and stared at Dean as he tried to assimilate his scattered thoughts and the remaining fragments of his vision. 'S-Susie n-needs us.'

'Sammy...'

'Have-have to he-help her Dean.' Sam said with a sound of finality in his voice. 'T-to he-help me.'

-------------------

You're not coming Sam.' Dean declared as they finished preparing for the hunt, 'you are going to stay here safe with Herb.'

'N-no D-Dean, I – I have t-to go.' Sam pleaded with his brother, the argument now nearing it's second hour showing no signs of ending anytime soon. 'S-Susie n-needs me an-and it's m-my v-v-vision.'

'Sam I said no it's too dangerous.'

'N-Not s-safe with-without you.' Sam cried out finally pulling a full on puppy-pout.

'Oh so not fair Sam.' Dean relented, 'I am gonna regret this.'

'Nope.' Sam smiled showing a glimpse of the old confident Sam, 's-simple in-an-out.'

'Yeah, yeah but there are conditions ... Sam listen to me you stay behind me at all times and no going off on your own.'

'Dean ...'

'Damn it Sam listen to me, you have ... your kidney's shot, you're still healing from what that doctor did to you ... man I wish you would just stay here and rest.'

'D-Dean no.' Sam pulled himself up to his full height and glared down at his older brother, 'p-please d-don't l-leave me.'

'Ah Sammy, okay so you promise to do what I tell ya?'

Sam nodded and grinned shyly, 'p-promise.'

Dean stared suspiciously at his brother, Sam agreed too quickly and there was no sign of his little Sammy persona. 'Owkay but if you're messing with me or anything you'll ...'

'I know D-Dean.' Sam smiled as he relaxed slightly, feeling more like a trusted brother and not a little kid and a nuisance.

'Let's get going then.' Dean put himself in front of Sam and made sure it was safe before they left the safety of the cabin and ran for the car. Large storm clouds, heavy dark and petulant, pulsating with demonic intent loomed over them as the small convoy of a classic car and pickup truck made their way out of the car park and onto the highway.

--------------------

Dean picked himself up on shaking legs and shook his head, that hurt. Straightening his shoulders and cracking his neck Dean started to wade back into the fight. Sam huddled in the corner with Susie, the little girl sitting too stiffly, too quietly on his knee as the others battled with the minions of the demon. 'Ah Samuel so nice to see you again.' A voice hissed bringing Sam out of his internal reverie. 'I thought you might have forgotten me.'

Sam stared up at the demon, his mind reeling back to that day so long ago. 'No, no, no.'

'Oh yes Sammy, long time no see and all of that. So, how ya been?'

'Leave me alone, leave my brother alone.' Sam snarled slowly standing he pulled Susie behind him, 'What did you do to Susie's mom and baby brother?'

'They are ... were very tasty but not worth the worry.' The demon shrugged and grinned showing Sam his mouthful of pointy and very sharp fangs. 'I have missed you Sammy boy.'

'My name is Sam.'

'Ah yes that wonderful independent streak, I hear you've had a few health problems.'

'Nothing we can't handle.' Sam shot a nervous look over to Dean but his brother was too busy fighting to look over at him.

'Oh dear looks like your brother and friends are struggling over there.'

'Leave them alone it's between you and me.'

'Always lover boy.'

'Don't ... please don't.' Sam shuddered and tried to step away from the demon keeping himself firmly between the monster and child.

'Don't what baby boy?'

'C-Call me th-that.'

'Oh Sammy you wound me.' The demon mocked Sam, 'we can always pick up where we left off.'

'Why – why d-did you ... Wh-what di-did I do t-to you?'

'Ah dear boy not what you did to me it's what I can do for you.' The demon gloated, 'now enough skipping around you're going to come with me now.'

'N-no.'

'Samuel come with me now.'

'N-no.'

'You do not have a choice in the matter.'

'Y-Yes I do.' Sam cried out as the white haze filled his mind again.

----------------

'Sammy? Sammy can you hear me?' Dean almost sobbed as he cradled Sam's lifeless body in his arms, 'what happened? Can someone please tell me what the fuck just happened?'

'Sam made my daddy go away.' Susie pouted, 'why?'

'Listen to me little girl.' Bobby tried to sound comforting and nice to the little girl but her shrill voice cut through the pain in his head like a blunt knife. 'Sam saved you from a very nasty man.'

'He liked me.'

'No, he wanted to use you and hurt your family.'

'No he my daddy.'

'No, sorry honey but he was a bad man and not your daddy.'

'How about I take her and have a chat?' Missouri said appearing from seemingly nowhere, 'what? You think that I'm gonna let ya'll have all the fun?'

'Dean, come one let me check Sammy.' Caleb said trying to pry Dean's arms away from Sam, 'I have to check him.'

'I promised him to look after him Cal.' Dean said not listening, the shock settling into him. 'I promised to protect him.'

'Dean?' Sam's faint whisper startled his brother.

'Sammy?' Dean ran his hand over Sam's face, unsure if he had heard him, 'Sammy?'

'Wh-what happened?'

'You tell me little brother.'

'I – I ... th-the d-demon?'

'Gone Sammy you did your mojo again.'

'Don't understand ... Susie?'

'She's fine, a little loud and annoying the shit out of Bobby but alright.'

'Dean ... you?'

'I'm fine Sammy, nothing I can't handle.' Dean grinned, 'what about you Sammy?'

'I-I ... o-okay g-guess.' Sam stared up at Dean his confusion evident in his green eyes and the look he wore on his face. 'W-we g-go ho-home?'

'Yeah dude.' Dean tried to feel something but when he took in the devastation surrounding them, the hollow pit in his stomach just got a little deeper.

The image of Sam standing in the middle of the maelstrom, debris and bodies flying around them like annoying insects. With the wind whipping through his long hair and his green eyes glittering like shards of jade Sam looked like an avenging Angel.

Helping his brother up Dean swayed and nearly fell backwards when he felt a pair of strong hands holding him. looking down he saw Sam staring up at him, his hands firm around Dean. 'You o-okay D-Dean?'

'Yeah I am Sammy, come on dude I'm starving.'

------------------

Dean stretched out in his bed and heaved a sigh of relief for the first time in months hell even more than a year now he was able to relax. Really relax, Sam slept in the bed next to his, they were safe and no one was trying to kill his brother or himself. All in all it was a good result. His relief was short-lived though when he looked at Sam, sleeping peacefully for now. But the nightmares will wake him, his screams and terror so palpable that Dean lived them along with Sam. The last two weeks made Dean feel like they were living on eggshells. Waiting for the penny to drop and for something to go wrong with Sam.

Jim said that his kidney functions were better and he may not lose his right kidney after all. The swelling of his brain was slowly breaking up and reducing, the medications stopped the convulsions and other meds helped him with the swelling and subsequent headaches. They had dodged another proverbial bullet. But something didn't feel right, each day was a new day with Sam, not sure who would wake up Dean thought seriously about retiring from hunting. To settle down and find a home for him and Sam, to find someone who could help look after his brother.

Glancing over at him, Dean realised that Sam was awake and watching him intently, 'hey sleepy head ready to get up?'

'Don' wanna.' Sam mumbled scrunching further down under his blankets, 'Deanie?'

Dean's head shot up and he stared at Sam, the penny finally dropped, 'yeah Sammy?'

'D-Deanie? S-Sammy s-scared.'

'What about Sammy?'

'B-Bad m-man ... he-he d-d-did b-ad to S-Sammy.'

'Aw Sammy, he can't hurt you anymore.'

'Y-yeah he-he c-can.' Sam nodded his eyes wide and filled with fear. 'S-Sammy s-scared.'

Dean climbed out of his bed and went to sit behind Sam pulling his brother close to his chest hugging him tightly, 'why are you scared Sammy?'

'D-Don' wa-wanna g-go an-and l-leave D-Deanie.'

'Hey Sammy you're not going anywhere without me.' Dean said pulling Sam tighter against his chest.

'B-bad m-man in-in h-here.' Sam started to hit the side of his head with his fist, 'he-he s-says s-s-stuff.'

'Sammy I promise you that I will look after you, and help get you all better.'

'B-but he-he s-says ... hurt you D-Deanie.'

'Ah Sammy, okay I think it's time we get outta here.'

'W-we g-gotta l-leave?'

'Yeah go somewhere safe without the bad man.'

'B-Bobby an-and C-Cal too?'

'Nah just us Sammy, think you can handle it?'

'You bet Deanie.' Sam smiled and hugged his brother, 'D-Deanie?'

'What Sammy?'

'S-Sammy s-sowree.'

'Why dude?'

'C-coz l-little S-Sammy won-won't go w-way.'

'We'll get you better Sammy, so both you and Sam will be okay.'

'P-promise?'

'Promise Sammy, so you wanna help me pack?'

An hour later with the impala packed, goodbyes to Herb, his wife Daisy and Doctor Jim said the brothers faced three more friends. Missouri hugged the two boys tightly, her hand lingering over Dean's for a moment, 'he'll be fine Sugar, just give him time.'

She whispered in Dean's ear. Nodding mutely Dean went on to say goodbye to Caleb and Bobby, an overwhelming feeling of dread descended over him, feeling as though this could be a last goodbye. 'Catch ya on the flipside.'

'Take care you eedjit and look after that brother of yours but let him look after you too.'

'We're just a call away Dean remember that.' Caleb said before turning to hug Sam bye.

As the impala peeled out of the carpark leaving their friends watching them disappear over the horizon, another pair of eyes flashed from black to red, a shadow moved and then disappeared leaving behind a distinct odour of sulphur.

Sam hummed softly and giggled as the breeze flowed across his face and tangled his long hair.

'We have to get you a haircut Sammy.' Dean said glancing over at his brother's antics.

'Deanie?'

'Yeah little dude?'

'I-I m-miss S-Sam.' He said in a matter-of-fact tone, 'he-he s-smarter th-than me.'

'Hey Sammy no ... you're smart too little dude just in a different way.'

'Nah-huh I – I don' ... an-and I – I t-talk f-funny.'

'Sammy, hey look at me, I am so proud of you Sammy so don't you even think like that, Sam will come back when he's ready he's just got to get better first.'

'Oh ... d-do yo-you w-want m-me t-to g-go way? L-Let S-Sam come back?' The question was asked so softly that Dean almost didn't hear Sam. Sighing heavily he pulled the car onto the side of the road and swivelled around to face his baby brother.

'Sammy, I love you just as much as Sam, and it doesn't matter which one stays or goes I love you both and you will always be my brother no matter what.'

'Promise?'

'That is one promise I know I can keep Sammy.'

'S-Sammy g-gets s-scared ... b-bad m-man m-makes S-Sam s-sad.'

'How does he do that?' Dean couldn't help but ask, his curiosity getting the better of him.

'He-he s-says me-mean th-things. S-Sam wa-wants t-to c-cry an-and h-hide.'

'What bad things do you hear Sammy?'

'B-Bout wh-what h-he d-did t-to S-Sam, f-fore S-Sammy c-comes.'

'Oh Gods.'

'S-Sammy he-help Sam.' Sammy muttered as he yawned and settled back to sleep, 'S-Sammy hel-help S-Sam, h-hide S-Sam.'

**The End (For now)**

The last in the Who Am I? trilogy will be up soon, will Sam ever be Sam again or will Dean be raising little Sammy all over again. AND is the demon really gone or is he hunting the hunters again?

Look for He Aint Heavy, He's My Baby Brother.


End file.
